


The Boloball Championship, Or, How To Score

by asingerofsongs, MayGlenn



Series: Stars and Skies [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Accidental Prelude to First Time?, Anal Sex, Battlefield Flirting, Boloball, Cooking, Dancing, Date Night with Flowers and Candles, Dom/sub Undertones, Dr Kalonia Is A Saint, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Explicit Consent, Finn Gives The Best Hugs, Finn Stands Up For Himself, Finn learns binary, First Time, Fluff, Gardens & Gardening, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry if there are rules for boloball we are making it up as we go, If the Boloball Field Counts, Infantry vs Pilots, It's Just Custard Boys Calm Down, Knock-Knock Jokes, Life-Affirming Sex, Like Pilot Like Astromech, M/M, Massage, Nightmares, Oral Almost-Sex?, Pilots Being Pilots, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe Dameron's Exes, Poe is so whipped, Prostate Massage, Romance, Running, Separation Anxiety, Sex Education, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Sports, Stargazing, Storytime with BB-8, Switching, Therapy, Top Poe Dameron, We Know Where BB-8 Gets His Attitude, Wingman BB-8, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 05:43:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6503248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asingerofsongs/pseuds/asingerofsongs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayGlenn/pseuds/MayGlenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wait, a what?" Poe said, eyes crinkling in concern up at Iolo.<br/>"A boloball championship! The soldiers challenged us to it, it wasn't even my fault."<br/>"He may have goaded them when they were tossing around the ball yesterday," Karé supplied.<br/>"You can't prove that. Anyway, we need you to be our Captain."<br/>"I'm not even that great at boloball!" Poe protested, but a glance at Finn changed his mind. "Can Finn play?"<br/>"Yeah! Well, but, we can't let the ground troops have him! We need some muscle on our team!" Karé complained.<br/>"I'm standing right here," Snap said in annoyance.<br/>Finn looked between all of them and raised his eyebrows. "What the heck is boloball?" </p><p>Between life in the Resistance, regular meetings with their therapist, date night, recon missions, emotional crises, gardening, and the big infantry-vs-pilots boloball game coming up, it's hard to find time for Finn's first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a long story compared to others in the series, so new tags will be added at each chapter. Please subscribe! We will still update weekends, and as always, we love comments!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance infantry challenges the pilots to a boloball "championship," and Finn learns a new sport.

"Wait, a _what_?" Poe said, eyes crinkling in concern up at Iolo. Now that he and Karé were back from their long-term scouting mission, Poe felt better about everything, like a mother hen with all her chickens in the roost where they belonged.

"A boloball championship! The soldiers challenged us to it, it wasn't even my fault."

"He _may_ have goaded them when they were tossing around the ball yesterday," Karé supplied.

"You can't prove that. Anyway, we need you to be our Captain."

"I'm not even that great at boloball!" Poe protested (though he _was_ quick, so he wasn't exactly bad), but a glance at Finn changed his mind. "Can Finn play?"

"Yeah! Well, but, shit. We can't let the ground troops have him! We need some muscle on our team!" Karé complained.

"I'm standing right here," Snap said in annoyance.

When the pilots finished bickering for a moment, Finn looked between all of them and raised his eyebrows. "Boloball?" he asked. Any answer he was about to receive was interrupted by a group of his own foot soldiers. 

"Finn! Hey, Sergeant Finn, you have to be on our boloball team! We bet those cocky flyboys—oh, _hi_ guys," one of them said with a bright smile, and Finn rolled his eyes, but the hint of a smile on his face made it clear it was a fond exasperation.

"Reist, Torch. Care to sit?" he asked dryly, and there was a brief scuffle of elbowing as the two foot soldiers made room for themselves among the squadron. "The pilots were just about to tell me what boloball is," Finn told them. Reist raised both of their eyebrows, and Torch looked over at them a little worriedly.

"You... You've never heard of boloball? Limmie?" Torch asked, and Finn shook his head.

"Ha! See? I'm the better muscle anyway. Sorry Finn."

Finn glanced over at Snap and laughed. "Oh, I see how it is! Sure, I'll be on your team," he said to his two foot soldiers. They'd been having a whispered debate, but both looked up at him with identical thoughtful looks on their faces. "But you have to teach me," Finn added, and looked over at Poe, "You too, if it's not cheating."

Poe put his head in his hands. "Nice, Snap," he groaned, but he smiled up at Finn. "Oh yeah, we'll  teach you. Have to get in some practice, myself!" He turned his attention to Torch and Reist. "When's the date? Who will be our captain?"

Torch and Reist both looked at Finn, who held up both hands and said, "Oh no, you don't want me being captain. I don't even know how to play!"

Reist shrugged their shoulders. "It's fine, we'll find you a co-captain or something." 

When Finn still looked doubtful, Torch put on his best pity-me-I'm-cute face, and Finn frowned at him. "But you _have_ to be! Poe is their captain, and you're the one who bosses all of us around," he said, practically whining.

"Are you going to give me any peace if I say no?" Finn asked, and both foot soldiers shook their heads. "Alright, alright, fine. Two weeks? It'll give me time to learn and you," he said, turning from his ridiculous, cheering soldiers to Poe, "time to practice."

Poe rolled his eyes. "I seriously haven't played since school..."

"He's just saying that to better the odds," said Torch, with whom he'd been known to throw the ball around occasionally, maybe.

"Okay fine, let me finish and we'll go out to the field now, would that make you happy?" Poe directed this to Finn with an indulgent smile. He'd do anything to make Finn happy. "Also," he said, glaring at the instigators. " _No_ tackle boloball. Flags or touch only. If anyone gets hurt it'll be my head rolling, so absolutely no tackles."

"Yes, that sounds perfect," Finn said, and snagged a bite of food off Poe's plate. "I'm helping," he said with a grin, and then turned to Reist and Torch. "I am well aware you two have First Aid training with the rest of your squadron in thirty minutes. Better get moving..." he told them, and they scrambled to stand, nearly tripping each other, mumbling something about having to go back to their rooms to get required supplies. Finn shook his head at them and turned back to Poe and the other pilots. "They're at the top of their class, if you would believe it..." he said.

Poe put his chin in his hand, watching Finn fondly. "Oh, I believe it." Poe wondered if Finn liked kids, but made himself stop that train of thought. "What I _can't_ believe is that you talked me into this." He finished his meal still glowering at Iolo and Karé. "Let's go show Finn what he's got himself into," he told his pilots.

It turned out boloball, more commonly known as Limmie everywhere except the Resistance base, apparently, involved a medium-sized ball, absolutely no padding or helmets, and a good deal of shouting. It included some near-miss tackles, as well, but only between the pilots.  Finn was alright at moving the ball down the field, but he was much better once they tried putting him in the way of other people who were trying to score. He may have used his assigned position as an excuse to 'accidentally' shoulder-check Poe a few times.

"Can you explain the rules to me again?" he asked when they took a break for water and to catch their breaths.

"The scary thing about boloball is there are no rules," Poe said, puffing slightly. "Get the ball in the goal. You can run with it or kick it, but only throw it sideways or behind."

"Can we play the tackle version sometime?" Finn asked innocently, tossing the ball up and catching it.

Poe smirked at Finn. "Maybe one on one," he chuckled, and winked. Iolo and Jess rolled their eyes.

Finn tried to bounce the ball off his toe next, missed entirely, and went scrambling after it with a squawk.  "How do you guys _do_ that?" he asked when he returned.

"We play boloball as training sometimes," Poe went on. "Very rarely. But we could do more of it."

Finn _hmmmmed_. "It's good for hand-eye coordination and fitness training," he said, "We should think about it." He meant it honestly, about boloball, but found it equally amusing that he could give the words double meaning, about playing a tackle version of it just between himself and Poe. "Wanna go again? Someday I'm going to score a goal," he said, having rested for quite long enough.

"You are killing me," Poe gasped, but he laughed. Since Finn was playfully feeding him double entendres, Poe could give him another game. "Yeah let's go," he said, knocking the ball from Finn's hands and running down the field with it with a laugh.

"Hey!" Finn yelped as Poe grabbed the ball from him and took off with it, kicking it in front of him. He ran after him and the other pilots followed, though at a somewhat more sedate pace. When he caught up with Poe, he jumped in front of him and kicked the ball away from his feet, then promptly tripped over it.

"Whoa!" Poe cried, leaping over Finn's prone form to pick up the ball again, and this time he tossed it to Karé and offered Finn a hand. "I think you're just too excited, darling," he said.

Finn took Poe's hand and pulled himself to his feet, laughing wryly at the grass stains on his knees and elbows. "I don't understand why I can't run and kick a ball at the same time. It's not as if I usually have this problem," he said. Tripping people, he could do, and also tackling—which they were expressly forbidden from doing, he reminded himself.

"Balls are a different matter altogether," Poe agreed, but he couldn't keep a straight face at that one and bent over double to laugh, only barely looking up in time for a sudden (vicious) pass from Iolo.

Finn leapt forward as Poe caught the ball, knocking into his shoulder and grabbing for the ball.  "Whoa, kriff," he said, surprised to find himself on the receiving end of a successful interception.  He knew he was supposed to run with the ball, so he ran for the other end of the field.

"Damn it, Finn!" Poe laughed, and careened after him amidst laughter and shouting. Poe was quick, and caught up with Finn, but hesitated as he tried to figure out a way to bring him down that wouldn't end up with two broken arms (probably both of them his), so when he caught Finn's leg and rolled with him, they were past the imaginary goal line and Finn's team had scored.

"HEY I SC—" Finn was cut off by his legs being taken out from under him, and he rolled with Poe until they came to a stop, Poe mostly pinning him. "You did that on purpose! After you said no tackling!" Finn laughed.

"Did I say that?" Poe grinned. "That doesn't sound like me." No matter what, as he gazed down at Finn’s darkened eyes, he could no more wipe a smug grin off his face than he could voluntarily get off of him where they sprawled tangled together. "I thought you _requested_ this, beautiful?"

"Oh my gods, Dameron, _please_ ," Jess complained, and suddenly someone (Snap) was hauling him off of Finn.

Finn resisted pointing and laughing, but only barely, as Poe was practically hoisted into the air by Snap. Jess helped him up and gave him a very serious look, even going so far as to cross her arms as she looked up at him.

"Uh, something up, Jess?" Finn said.

After staring at him for several long seconds, she rolled her eyes. "Finn, not that it's any of my business—but you two need to do something about this whole...thing..."  Then she cackled, turned, and walked away.

"Like a kriffing teenager," Snap muttered, but he was smiling enough that Poe figured he didn't hate him too much.

"Oh come on, I was just...demonstrating behavior unbecoming of an officer?" He scratched the back of his head. "Okay, I'm sorry. No more tackling, I mean it. I'm here for this. Iolo, Karé, huddle up," he said, determined to get his head back in the game no matter how hot one of the opposing team members was.

Finn was about to huddle up with his own team when BB-8 started chirping on the sidelines. "Oh, damn! I forgot!" he said, changing direction abruptly to grab his water and thank BB-8 for reminding him that he had a meeting with Dr. Kalonia in five minutes.

Poe chuckled and grinned fondly after Finn, nodding to BB-8 to go with him if they wanted, and since the little droid was much more nosy about both of their meetings with Dr. Kalonia than they were about what they called "[sportball]," BB-8 sped after Finn.

"Okay, let's go,” Poe said again, actually managing a decent practice after that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn has a meeting with Dr. Kalonia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter references events in "[Here We Go Round Again](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6491347)."

"Good afternoon, Sergeant," Dr. Kalonia said, raising her eyebrows at the grass stains. "What have you been up to this morning?"

"Oh, uh, we were playing boloball and Poe tackled me. My ground troops challenged Poe's pilots and I've never even heard of it, so they were teaching me. I forgot I was meeting with you today, I’m sorry! Bee reminded me," he said. As if summoned by their name, BB-8 rolled through the door with a soft, apologetic beep and settled next to his chair. Finn smiled and pet the droid's domed head briefly before looking back up at Dr. Kalonia.

Dr. Kalonia smiled. "Are you enjoying it so far?" She asked, and when Finn nodded she asked the harder question: "Did they have anything like that in the First Order? Any games?" She hoped that a combination of frank discussion and pointing out the differences between Finn's two lives might help many of his issues.

Finn shook his head. "If they did, I didn't know about them. Maybe people played cards sometimes if they had five minutes free, but my bunk mates didn't," he said. They definitely hadn't played boloball. Anyway, that might have caused problems, with the tackling and the close contact with other players. Or maybe it just might have caused problems for _him._ "Sometimes we turned training into a contest, but that's as close as we got," he said thoughtfully.

Dr. Kalonia nodded. "I hope it's not painful to ask you to talk about other differences between the Resistance and the First Order," she said, pencil at the ready.

"No, it's okay. It's not my favorite subject, but if you think it'll help..." he said, and paused to think.  "We didn't really eat anything but protein paste on the _Finalizer_ and at the base. I mean maybe the officers had real food... We were in bunk rooms with three other stormtroopers, but mostly we were only there to sleep. There was no time off unless you were sick and then mostly they'd give you medicine and send you back on duty, anyway." He looked down at BB-8 and shrugged. "We were around other people all the time, but didn't have friends. Touch with anything but practical intent didn't exist. Hugs and hand holding and kissing, none of that existed. We learned about relationships so we could manipulate them." He looked up at Dr. Kalonia, his hand still resting on a now-purring BB-8.

"And what do you think about those differences?" She pressed. "We could start with things like friendship, and touch. You seem to have made quite a few friends. Some of your trainees have actually come to ask me why you won't lead them in the field—of course that's confidential, and I told them so, but I thought you might like to know how highly they think of you."

"I should probably talk to them. I didn't realize they were concerned," Finn answered, smiling fondly. It hadn't occurred to him that they might be concerned. "And the differences are…they're great. I'm _happy_ here. But they're overwhelming sometimes? I don't always know what to do..."

Dr. Kalonia smiled. "I think you should talk to them," she agreed, writing something down and waiting until Finn did not continue before speaking: "Being overwhelmed is perfectly natural. Educating yourself may help. Is there anything particularly overwhelming that you would like to talk about?"

"Maybe, uh...it has to do with Poe?  Nothing bad, though. He's amazing, and he's so _patient_ , and he tells me constantly to take everything at my own pace, so it's nothing he's done." Finn sighed, really wishing the doctor could just read his mind so he didn't have to find a way to use words to make sense. "And I'm used to sharing my space with him. I like waking up and he's...curled up with me, and I'm even comfortable being in the refresher with him. And I know enough to know that I'm really, _really_ attracted to him." He paused, slightly surprised he'd said that out loud, and then surprised that he still expected to be reprimanded for it. He moved on.

"And we've talked about sex, even though I hate asking stupid questions, and those are the only questions I can ask. But...but I didn't even know that sex was for anything but reproduction before Poe explained that to me, and some other things. I don't know _anything_!" he said, frustrated, "And it makes me nervous.  And I don't know how to deal with all of it." Really, it boiled down to having too many feelings at once, and not knowing what to do when they seemed contradictory. He realized he'd just been rambling and looked down at his knees. "Sorry," he muttered, feeling his face heat up.

"You don't need to apologize to me for speaking honestly about your mental and physical health, Finn, I am your doctor." She set her pencil down and looked up, folding her hands. There were two possible issues to start with here. "Does it make you nervous because you think you will disappoint Poe? Or are you nervous because you desire things you are perhaps unclear about?"

"No, no, if Poe were going to be disappointed with me, he'd have been long before now," Finn said in a rush, quick to come to Poe's defense. "I'm afraid I'll do something wrong, but not because I'm afraid it will disappoint Poe. It's more the second one. I hate that the First Order taught all of us not to care about anyone, but that's all I knew for my whole life. I keep thinking I shouldn't let Poe get any closer to me—even though I want it. Because it’s not allowed. Because it's dangerous." For so many reasons, including his occasional habit of attacking people in his sleep. "Because… _I’m_ dangerous. And I know it's his choice, too, and I know no one here cares. But I can't stop being...scared," he admitted.

Dr. Kalonia didn't look down, but kept her gaze on Finn. "Being scared is natural," she said. "Your actions have consistently shown you to be very brave in spite of your fear, so I am confident you will rise to the challenge. Again, education may help you to be less uneasy. Sometimes having the words to put to feelings and experiences helps. You should feel comfortable asking me anything, or I can turn you to literature if that's too awkward." She smiled. "And have you spoken to Poe?"

"Only sort of. I was thinking about it, but then yesterday morning happened, and I still don't know how to stop that ever happening again, and really all I wanted to do was forget about it," he said. They _had_ had that awkward conversation last night (though it didn't seem even a little awkward for Poe, which was probably a good thing), which he supposed sort of counted.

"Well, replacing your learned understandings from the First Order might help your anxiety, too. I will send you with some pamphlets, though you might be insulted, as they are directed toward teenagers." She rummaged in her desk and handed him a stack. "Forgetting about your panic attacks and triggers is not exactly optimal in your case. Rather, we want to replace those stimuli with more positive thoughts and experiences. For example, you mentioned wanting to become closer to Poe. Are you interested in or planning on becoming sexually active?"

Finn was thrown for a moment, having not expected the conversation to go this route. While he was scrambling for an answer, BB-8 whistled softly and rolled against his shins, swiveling like a cat getting comfortable and starting that buzzing purr of theirs all over again. When Finn looked down at them, they turned their head and whistled before settling back down. "I—yeah. I guess...yeah. That's kind of what I was trying to say," he admitted when his brain stopped running in panicked circles. "But then every time I think about saying something to him, I get nervous and don't. Not—not because of the actual sex part...I _know_ the biological mechanics—” _At least of heterosexual sex_ , he thought, but didn’t say, “more the—" he paused, searching for the right word, "—the emotional part."

"Understandable," she said. "Sexual intercourse is not always accompanied by an emotional connection, though most species and individuals believe this is an ideal component. Do you think that a physical manifestation of your relationship—sex—will change anything?"

"...No? Is there a right answer to that question?" Finn asked, only half-joking. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to think. "If it did change anything, it wouldn't be a _bad_ change. Just... a change."

"Then what do you think you are afraid of?" Dr. Kalonia asked. "It's still okay to be afraid, and it's all right if you don't know," she said, after waiting a moment for a reply.

"I don't really know. I just...am."  He sat quietly and thought about it, frowning as he considered and discarded possibilities. "I think it's just a habit. I know that it will be okay. Every possible outcome I can think of that is reasonable ends okay. But I'm having trouble making myself believe what I know."

Since Finn seemed slightly agitated, Dr. Kalonia changed tactics. "Okay, that's fine. Maybe give it some more thought. Yesterday, when you woke to the alarm, what do you remember?"

"Not much, really. I was confused. I thought we needed to go to battle stations, but I couldn't find my uniform, and Poe says I didn't know him. But I don't remember that part." It was like a really strange, half-remembered dream. "I was sure we'd get in trouble for not getting ready faster, and I kept trying to make him go faster, and he wouldn't."

“But what do you remember? If there was a trigger that got you in, maybe there is something to get you out. When you were with the First Order, you never shared a bunk with anyone, right?"

Finn snorted and shook his head. "No. Definitely not. It was forbidden. And the bunks were very small, not like Poe's room. That's why I was confused. I knew there were things that weren't right, but I couldn't figure out why." And even Poe kissing him hadn't done anything but made him attack him. "BB-8 did a pretty good job of jarring me out of it," he said, grinning crookedly.

"That makes sense, since he's part of your life after the First Order." She frowned. "To break a flashback, we need something to ground us in the present, preferably using all of one's senses. It's possible that Commander Dameron's lack of success so far in grounding you in your current reality is because he is, unfortunately, a part of your life, however briefly, _before_ you left the Order."

"Well, I think it's probably because BB-8 tased me..." Finn answered with a dry laugh. "Poe _wants_ to help. He helps with the panic attacks. He talks me through them until I can breathe again." The problem was that he hadn't even _recognized_ Poe during the flashback.

Dr. Kalonia nodded. "I'm glad he does. It wouldn't be his fault, or yours, if he cannot help you with this. Unfortunately it may take some time to find out what works."

"Could you explain that to him?" Finn asked, because he was sure that Poe would decide it was his fault that he couldn't help. "Could BB-8 help without shocking me? Not that I blame them, but I would like not being tased. This helps," he said, motioning to the droid who was still pressed against his shins and still rattling with a low-intensity purr.

The doctor smiled, hiding a wince. _Tell Commander Dameron that he can't do anything to help?_ She’d really rather eat her pencil. "We don't know that yet, but yes, I'd be glad to try to explain the situation to him. BB-8 might be an excellent grounder. You've started learning Binary, I hear? Finish as soon as possible. BB-8, I want you quizzing him and talking to him as often as is reasonable."

BB-8 chirped in delight: [Friend-Finn!] they said, the only phrase they were sure Finn knew.

"Thanks, buddy," Finn said to BB-8.  He looked back at the doctor, then glanced subtly at the wall clock. "Um. There anything else?" he asked.

"Not if you think about what we talked about, read those pamphlets, and let me know if you have any other concerns or questions before next week." She smiled invitingly and stood. BB-8 rolled circles around Finn's feet.

"Yes ma'am," Finn said with a little grin and then laughed at BB-8. "Gonna need you to stop orbiting me so I can walk, little guy," he told them, and earned an annoyed little honk in return.  When they got to the door, BB-8 paused, rocking, looking both directions. "Want to go find your pilot?" Finn asked them, and they went speeding off down the corridor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe plans Date Night.

Today, boloball practice started with Snap tackling Finn because they weren't being supervised, and Finn retaliating by tackling Snap ten minutes later. It turned into a game of tackle boloball after that, by mutual (unspoken) agreement. It was much more exciting than the non-tackle version, and would have been perfect if not for one thing: Poe was missing.  Not _missing_ missing, because they'd eaten breakfast together, but absent from practice, and Finn wasn't sure why. He should be back from patrol by now.

Toward the end of practice, when it had devolved into sitting and talking on the field more than actually playing boloball, BB-8 appeared, rolled up to Finn's toes, and beeped something at him very slowly. "What?" Finn asked, and BB-8 repeated themselves. "Follow?" he asked, and the little droid nodded and beeped out another word. "Refresher! I know that one," Finn told him, and he nodded and started rolling away. "Okay, apparently that's my cue," Finn said, and waved to the pilots as he followed after the droid.

…

After Poe had eaten breakfast with Finn and ran his patrol around the planet, he knew Finn would be at practice, but he had a better idea. Smuggling fresh groceries from a market on the far side of D'Qar into the base undetected was a challenge: but Poe loved a challenge.

[Where are we going?] BB-8 had asked him.

"Well, we're going to go make a nice dinner for Finn, what do you think, bud?" Poe replied.

BB-8 whistled in agreement. [Affirmative! Friend-Finn will like that!]

"Great, you think you could help me out?" He dropped to a knee inside the foyer of the VIP suite.

[But Friend-Poe why are we here? We could get in trouble!]

"Nah, there's a _really_ good reason we're here, Bee. It's to make Finn happy!"

BB-8 was quite easily emotionally manipulated, whatever people said about droids not having emotions, and BB-8 bobbed their head in agreement. [Worth it for Friend-Finn.]

"Man, what would I do if you didn't approve of my boyfriend choice? Never mind, I _know_ the answer to that," Poe said, because of course BB-8 had (rightly, he begrudgingly agreed after the fact) run off at least two significant others that had been bad news for him.

"Okay, so here's what I need you to do," Poe told his friend and wingman, and as BB-8 sped off happily, Poe went to the kitchen and got to work. The mess couldn't really be helped, which was why he was wearing an apron over his best tight pants and his third-favorite shirt (yes, after the Mos Eisley Cantina incident he was down to his third-favorite shirt!). He would clean or suffer for this later. He was making empanadas, rice, beans (from dried, not canned!), chiles rellenos (the market had had actual chiles!!) and custard for dessert. There wouldn't be a lot of each (they had to eat all the evidence, after all), but he wanted Finn to try some of the things from Yavin IV, as best as he could make them on short notice. He even had a few bottles of beer from home he had been saving and—well, of course, the scene wasn't set without candles, and of course then he had to get flowers, and Poe even had a datacard with music for BB-8 to play them, if they were willing.

…

"But I don't _want_  to wear that one, Bee! Come on, what're you—leave that alone! BB-8!" Finn yelped as the little droid reached an extension up to snatch one shirt from his hands and throw another at his face.

[Friend-Finn! Wear your nice shirt!] they shrieked, and Finn took a moment to translate.

"But _why_?" he asked, and BB-8 rocked back and forth. [Classified!] they told him, finally, and Finn realized he was going to get zero help unless he put the shirt on. "Lead on, then," he said when he was finally dressed in the clothes BB-8 had demanded he wear fifteen minutes earlier.  BB-8 chirped happily and rolled slowly out the door and down to hall, whistling a little tune to themselves.

Poe was just sliding the empanadas into the oven and was getting ready to bread and fry the rellenos when the door slid open. He froze until he heard BB-8's cheerful chirps, and Poe ducked his head out of the kitchen.

"Finn! You made it, buddy, you look gorgeous," he said, going to him and kissing him, keeping his hands held away as they were covered with flour. "BB-8, you rock, my buddy," he said, giving his droid a thumbs-up. "I thought we could have a nice quiet dinner together, and I could cook for you!" Poe explained. "Here, I'm still cooking, so have a beer."

"It smells incredible. What are you making?" Finn asked, taking the beer and following Poe back into the kitchen so he could watch him cooking. He walked behind him to get out of the way on his other side, leaning over to kiss his shoulder on the way. "You clean up nice," he said in his ear, and then stepped away with a grin.

Poe's grin spread slowly from ear to ear as Finn quoted the holovid action-romance movie they had watched last night, cuddled up together on Poe's bed. "I thought you were asleep at that part!" he said, and laughed. His apron was bright orange and said "Kiss the Pilot" on it, because Snap thought he was super kriffing hilarious last Life Day when Poe had offered to cook for his squadron and flight crew. "You tempting little minx!" he teased, but now that he was messing with egg whites and flour he couldn't move away from his station until the rellenos were done.

"Only half-asleep," Finn answered. Truthfully, he'd been mostly asleep, but he'd heard that line of dialogue and since the characters had kissed at that point, Finn had committed it to memory. "What are you doing there?" he asked, nodding to the chiles, flour, and egg. Other than the cake, he'd never actually seen how food was made, so this was new to him. He wanted to ask about everything else going on in the kitchen, as well, but decided it could wait.

"Yeah, yeah, you can watch me. Roll up your sleeves and you can help, if you want," Poe offered, stepping to one side. "Here, see, these are rellenos. It's a chile, so once you touch it, don't touch your eyes or anything, they're hot. I stuffed 'em with cheese, and then we batter them and fry them so they're crispy and hot. They're so good. I kinda hope they're too hot for you so I get to eat all of them--just kidding, you'll love them!" Poe rambled, eventually helping Finn batter his own and set it gingerly in the pot of oil. Once they were all fried and hands were all clean, "Oh! Bee!" Poe whispered behind Finn's back, tossing the droid the music chip so they could get some tunes going.

"This looks much better than the mess hall," Finn said, and sniffed the air as the smell of the baking empanadas permeated the kitchen. "Smells better, too," he added with a grin. Then BB-8 started playing music, something Finn didn't recognize but liked anyway, and he tapped a rhythm on the counter. The mess hall definitely didn't have good music (mostly because it wouldn't be loud enough to hear anyway).

"You bet," Poe said with a grin out of one side of his mouth, and since everything was cooking and couldn't be bothered, Poe stole a sip of Finn's beer and turned to BB-8. "Hey, BB, can you give me track...I think it was 37?"

The music changed, to something loud and catchy, with sexy quetarra and some horns and a solid beat, and soon he was shaking his hips across the kitchen in Finn's direction, hoping he looked more playful than manic, though he couldn't be sure.

Finn held out a hand as Poe danced over toward him. "You can dance?" he asked. He'd never tried it, himself. He'd seen some of the others around base dance, sometimes when someone had music and they all had free time after dinner, but so far he'd avoided showing off his lack of dancing prowess.

"I—yeah, not _well_ , but we sort of have to at civic functions and stuff...you're going to love being an officer," Poe winked at Finn and arranged them together, Poe leading and Finn following. "This one, it's all in the hips, and follow where I take you. Got it?" He shook him gently. "Loosen up. Can't dance if you're tight!" He leaned in to kiss Finn's neck, trying to get him to relax as his own hips led the way, pushing Finn a few steps backwards and around the small kitchen.

Finn smiled as Poe attempted to lead him around the kitchen, and looked down in an attempt not to crush his boyfriend's feet. "I don't know _how_!" he squeaked, but did his best to follow and move his hips at the same time.

"You know exactly how to fall in step, don't lie to me," Poe said, fixing Finn with a focused stare. "Don't look at your feet, look at me," he said, taking it at half-speed and hitting every other beat. "Good," he purred, as Finn finally began to loosen up to allow him to _lead_. "Now let me see those hips." Poe let his hands slide down Finn's body until he was gripping his waist, and now he focused on adding the correct hip shake to each step.

As tempted as he was to look down at their feet, Poe was staring at him from very close range, gentle brown eyes holding his gaze. Finn smiled at him, especially when he kissed his neck, and relaxed through his hips so Poe could move them. Eventually, he sort of figured it out and tried it on his own, hands resting on Poe's hips to remind him of the rhythm they were following.

Dancing with Finn was so exhilarating that Poe almost forgot—well—everything: the war, the First Order, his own pilots, his nightmares, Finn's nightmares, BB-8, the taste of chocolate, his own name. All he knew was Finn, and Finn's hips ("Gods, you have been lying this whole time, you've been dancing your whole life, haven't you?"), and—

"NO NO NOT THE RICE SHIT SHIT!" he cried, suddenly dancing away from Finn's hold to the smell of toasting rice. Most of the rice was salvageable, but the bottom layer was baked into the pan, and after transferring the rice to a dish he let the pan soak.

"Sorry, sorry," Poe laughed. "I think the trope of dancing in the kitchen wouldn't be complete if something didn't almost burn." He leaned in to kiss Finn's lips: "Thanks for the dance," he told him as he tended the last of their meal, pulling empanadas from the oven and putting the flan in after.

"Thanks for the dinner," Finn said in reply, edging out of Poe's way so he could finish cooking.  "Those are chiles, but what is everything else?" he asked, pointing to the empanadas and the rice, which was a variety he'd not had before, as well as the beans.

"Wait til I set everything out!" Poe said, nodding to the breakfast nook the VIP suite obviously had. "Go sit down, I love you, but I'm turning into my Nana now, shoo!" he said, waving Finn away as he got hot pads and serving spoons and accumulated everything into the table, nestled among flowers and candles. "The flowers are for you, by the way—BB-8, track 2 again, please, and play from there? Thanks, bud!"

The flowers were beautiful, all bright colors and soft, sweet smells, and Finn's heart caught in his throat a little bit at the sight of them. _Flowers_. Real flowers, and Poe had bought them and given them to him. "They're beautiful," he said softly, touching the petals of one very gently with the tips of his fingers.

"Not as beautiful as you," Poe said, and he kind of wanted to see Finn holding them, but that might have to wait for a more public date, because that would be the cutest thing in the galaxy.

When everything was set out, Poe named each as he spooned some onto Poe's plate: "Rice, and black beans, the only good kind, in my opinion, and I promise the rice isn't burnt. This is a meat stew, you can eat it with the tortilla or with a spoon. The empanadas have beef and potatoes, and then of course the chile relleno which you helped make!" He finally plopped into his own seat, realizing that Finn's plate was quite full. "Oops, didn't mean to feed you _that_ much, sorry. You don't have to eat it all!" He _was_ turning into his grandmother, Poe realized with horror as he piled his own plate just as high.

Finn considered the flowers for another moment and then turned his attention back to his plate, which was full nearly to overflowing. "Maybe I don't _have_ to, but I'm sure going to make an effort," he said with a laugh, starting at random with an empanada and tasting a bite of everything else before he settled on eating the relleno first. "This is the best meal I've ever had, Poe. It's amazing.  You're amazing," he told Poe when he'd paused after finishing the relleno.

As Finn moved through the meal, Poe watched him, unable to eat his own food because of how focused he was on watching Finn taste and enjoy each new thing. "Not too spicy?" he asked, nodding at the relleno.

"Nope, sorry, I'm keeping this one," Finn answered and then gestured to Poe's plate. He almost always finished before Poe because he tended to inhale his food, but he wasn't usually this far ahead. "Eat yours before it gets cold!" he mock-scolded.

"Ah, fine," he said, picking up the empanada with his fingers. "Finn, you're just so—" He put the empanada back down. "Finn, I just love watching you experience new things, is all," he admitted. "That's probably creepy or weird or—even selfish. You're so open and loving and excited and I just—you make me feel—like _I_ should be more open and loving and excited." He blushed and went back to his plate. "So, it's just, it's fun watching you eat, I guess. Let me know when I need to stop staring and I will." He looked up again, cheeks full of food. "Well, I could probably never stop _staring_ , generally—" he swallowed with effort, "since you're the most gorgeous man in this galaxy."

Finn was going to melt, he was sure of it. If Poe's smile didn't cause it, it was going to be things like telling Finn he made him happy by sometimes just _existing_ and being who he was. No one had ever been that happy to see him happy. And when Poe smiled like how he was right now, it made Finn go all wobbly inside, in a way that words were inadequate to express. "You, Poe Dameron, make my _soul_ happy. And not just because you said I'm gorgeous. You—" he paused, tongue-tied.  He really just wanted to lean over and kiss Poe long enough to give him some idea of how happy he made him. But he was trying to eat. "You're—damn it, I don't have your way with words. You're home. I could live in the wilderness the rest of my life and I wouldn't be without a home as long as you were there with me." He wondered if that was sufficient. It sounded like something out of a bad holovid (Poe had shown him enough that he could make that distinction), but it was all he had. Words weren't—would probably never be—quite enough.

"Gosh, Finn, I thought we were saving poetry for the bedroom," Poe said, blushing accordingly. "I'm only prepared for the point of stammering bashfully at each other." He picked up his beer and clinked it against Finn's with a wink and a dreamy sigh: "It's always the ones who 'have no way with words' who know just what to say." When he drank the beer, the lump in his throat went away enough that he could deal with Finn honestly, and his eyes grew serious, losing the hint of teasing bravado. "I've never been— _home_ for anyone before," he said, lamely, "and I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." Probably more from someone who had never known _home_. "I'm honored. And I'll be—home—for you, for as long as you want me to." Another swig of beer before his shining eyes turned into actual tears.

At that, Finn couldn't help it— _he_ _had_ to lean over and kiss Poe, a long, deep kiss that had him panting a little when he finally pulled away. He gave Poe a slightly dazed smile that turned into a somewhat incredulous laugh. "Sorry, I just...I really wanted to kiss you," he explained. It wasn't often—if ever—that he instigated those kinds of kisses.

"Careful!" Poe cried, as the movement almost upset flowers, candles, and beer all in one go, but he leaned into the kiss, closing his eyes with a grateful hum. "Hey, you know me. You never have to ask. I'm here for the kissing. Only I'm glad you didn't burn yourself!" he said, and blew out the candles. "They're kind of in the way, anyway, and the mood lighting is already nice in here." They chatted quietly as they finished their meal. "Ready for dessert? Another beer?" Poe asked when he finished up his own plate.

Finn had forgotten about the dessert, and was almost disappointed when Poe reminded him of it—the couch was beginning to look ideal for snuggling and a lot of kissing. But he also wanted to know what Poe had made for dessert, and anyway, Poe had been very patient with him, so the least he could do was be patient with Poe. "Sure! Need help?" he asked.

"Well, it needs to cool," Poe said, sensing that it was about time to try out a bit of denial—which might backfire spectacularly, but might just as likely pay off by turning Finn into a wildcat. He was getting a little impatient being a _perfect_ gentleman, after all. "But it could be ready in a few minutes," he said, anyway, already feeling guilty for even thinking of manipulating Finn, even the littlest bit. "We could move to the couch in the meantime," he found himself saying, since Finn looked already a little hungry, and no longer for food, and Poe was the softest softie in the universe.

"Nah, let's try your dessert first! Remind me what it is?" Finn asked, because they could at least talk while they waited for it to cool enough to be eaten.

Poe beamed, sitting up. "It's a kind of pudding custard thing with milk and sugar and it's caramelly and delicious," Poe said. "Frankly, it's obscene. You'll want to eat the whole pan, I promise." He giggled. "But we have to do some more dancing at some point..." he tried, eyeing Finn as he finished his beer.

"Dancing like earlier?" Finn asked. It would either make his current state of background desire better or much worse. He was willing to risk one for the other, frankly. "But in the living room where there's more space?" he asked hopefully, because he did not especially appreciate being jarred from his concentration by a cabinet or counter to the back.

"Yeah—well, no, not like dancing earlier, we just ate a lot!" Poe said. "But yeah, in the living room where there's more space. So if you were wearing a big ball gown like in that vid last night it would swing all around you like a pretty princess." He blushed and shrugged. "Or I could be the pretty princess." He tossed his head. "I've got the hair."

Finn laughed at that and reached over to muss Poe's curly hair. "You can be the pretty princess if you want, as long as you don't mind leading your bumbling prince around the dance floor." There would only be broken feet or broken furniture or both if Finn tried to lead.

"Hey!" Poe pretended to be indignant, but he left his hair exactly at Finn had mussed it, and sat back grinning. "I'll lead, don't worry," he said with a soft smile. "Dancing is...I really like dancing. When it's with someone like you. At balls and official functions we have to 'mingle' and it's very formal and people judge you and it's stupid. Not like this—" Poe said, and stood up, approaching Finn from the side and bowing low. "This is...intimate. Just you and me, moving to music. Join me?" he asked, holding out his hand. "Psst—BB-8, Track 12!"

Finn took Poe's hand and stood from the table, meeting Poe's eyes with a soft smile of his own.  BB-8 started playing a song, pretty and slow enough that Finn hoped he'd have no trouble following. When they stood opposite each other, he leaned forward to give Poe a very brief kiss.  "Lead on," he said softly.

One thing about stormtrooper training, Finn fell into step immediately, like he had done all this before. "Finn, you're a natural," he breathed, tucking his head against Finn's neck so he could kiss and taste him. The footwork wasn't always perfect, and his hips and shoulders still moved like he was marching instead of dancing, but he was right where he needed to be. Poe eventually laid Finn's arms around his neck while his dropped around Finn’s waist, and he pulled them closer together than the training modules suggested, but Finn didn't complain. Their height difference was noticeable here, and Poe lifted his head so their eyes met, clear and focused and beautiful. "Finn, I—" Poe said when the second song had been danced in this way. "I love you," he blurted out lamely. "I'm _never_ giving up on you."

"I love you too, Poe. I think from the second you gave me a real name and treated me like—like a person," Finn responded. Not many people would have done that, but of course, most people were not Poe Dameron. He followed as Poe led them another few steps, and then sighed softly, relaxing his shoulders and hips and letting everything else fade from his awareness, save for Poe.

"Hey, you're the one who was saving my life," Poe said, able to grin about it now (a little). He gulped. "It was the least I could do," Poe said, though that wasn't true, and after a moment he corrected: "It was automatic, all of it. Fear, confusion, hope and adrenaline and then panic and then—when I thought I lost you on Jakku, I thought, how could I have lived and you died?" He pulled Finn closer, a little desperately. "I think I fell in love with you when I—first saw you across the tarmac here—because I thought I was dreaming. I thought you must be one of those—an angel, maybe. You brought me BB-8, you completed my mission, you were _alive_ , and the way you wanted to go back for Rey, just like you saved me..." Poe was aware that they had stopped dancing, and his eyes were stinging. "Someday you're gonna get tired of hearing people say 'thanks for saving me.'"

"Nah, it's nice knowing I've done some good," Finn answered. He leaned forward to kiss Poe on the forehead, then on both cheeks, and finally on the lips, closing his eyes hugging Poe close to him. When they paused, he rested his forehead against Poe's and swayed them gently from side to side, because he might not know how to lead, but he could do this, at least. "I love you so much it feels like I might catch fire, sometimes," he said gruffly, swallowing against the catch in his throat.

"Mm," Poe agreed, slotting their hips and chests flush together and following Finn's movements to the music. He had good rhythm. Finn was also a thousand degrees, and Poe felt colder than usual, like he was on the verge of shivering, and would, if Finn let go of him. "Feels like that sometimes. I get—worried I'm going to, like, float away," he admitted with a shy grin. He chased a few kisses, but the next song wasn't exactly slow dance material, and the spell was broken—or else Poe was being a shameless tease (to _both_ of them!) and had pulled away by wicked choice. "You want to try this flan or no?"

"Of _course_ I want to try it!" Finn answered, although he was pouting a little because Poe had stopped dancing. But he followed him to the kitchen to watch him dish out flan and didn't whine about it. "It smells amazing," he commented, hovering over it and taking a deep breath.

Poe didn't bother spooning it out into dishes—he had enough to clean up—but grabbed spoons and dug in. "Here—let me?" he asked, holding the spoon to Finn's lips. Even when Finn had been in medical laid out with a back injury he had only ever let him hold a straw to his lips to drink water, so this was new, and it thrilled Poe a little. "Open your mouth?"

Ordinarily, Finn would have met a gesture like Poe's with a frown and "I can do it myself," but Poe already knew that. This was a _romantic_ gesture, and it made Finn smile. He opened his mouth and let Poe feed him the bite of flan. It was, of course, amazing, and Finn may have made a slightly obscene moaning noise before he realized what he was doing and stopped himself, blushing furiously.  He snagged the other spoon Poe had brought over and got a spoonful of flan, and grinned at Poe. "Your turn," he purred, holding the spoon up to his mouth.

Finn's moan was the kind of thing Poe would do _anything_ to make happen, and he wanted to hear it again. He laughed at Finn's blush and ducked in for a kiss, but then another spoon appeared in front of his face, manned by Finn's dark, clever fingers, and Poe opened his mouth obediently, corners still curved up in a smile. "Mm," he said, and then blinked down, "okay, that _is_ good. I'm a genius." He smirked, ready with another bite for Finn. His mother would have been proud of that flan, only that wasn’t something you necessarily mentioned on a date.

"How did you even _make_ this? Did you use the Force or something?" Finn asked. The second bite was every bit as delicious as the first, and he licked his lips to get the last of the sugary syrup off.  "I could eat this every day for the rest of my life," he informed Poe, and held another bite up for him.

Poe laughed, leaning his hip against the counter as he closed his eyes and let Finn feed him another bite. "That's not how the Force works," he reminded Finn, but this had become something of a joke, and Poe wound his left arm around Finn's waist as they huddled around their dessert. "You couldn't have it _every_ day, though. Then it wouldn't be special. And would probably make you ill. Makes me sick if I eat too much, which is..." he paused to press his spoon past Finn's lips, deciding this was the most pornographic thing he had ever done or seen, even though it was just _custard_ , "a conundrum." His heart pounded a little faster and he chewed on his lip, so when Finn's next spoonful came at his face, he was entirely unprepared for it, and cackled as it smeared across his cheek. Maybe Finn was just as distracted as he was?

"That was graceful," Finn laughed, shrugging an apology. "You have something on your face and I have _no idea_ how it got there," he joked, and reached up to wipe the custard off Poe's face with a thumb.

Poe was blushing and laughing still as Finn cleaned up the mess on his chin. It was funny, cute, and Poe was grinning, and then suddenly Finn's thumb was in Poe's mouth, his lips closed around the digit and tongue licking sticky custard off. 

To his dying day Poe never knew whether Finn had offered or actually stuck the thumb in his mouth (innocently or otherwise), or whether Poe in a moment of weakness (knowing _exactly_ what he was doing, with something of an instinctive _desire_ to get his mouth sucking on a part of Finn's body that wasn't his lips) had gone for it himself. By the time he realized what he was doing and looked up, mouth going slightly slack (had he been _moaning_?), Finn's eyes had gone dark with lust, that ring of beautiful, rich brown overwhelmed by pupil. Great, Finn found this just as erotic as he did. Poe whimpered softly: an attempt to speak, perhaps apologize, but Finn's thumb was still pressing down on his tongue.

 _Oops_?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date Night heats up.

Finn hadn't been expecting this, not quite...but he...couldn't say he was _disappointed_ , either.  He was the exact opposite of disappointed, actually. And then Poe whimpered, making Finn's knees go all wobbly and weak. " _Kriff_ , Poe. _Why_?" he asked helplessly, dropping his hand so Poe could actually speak but stepping a little into his space.

Poe looked down, stammering. "Sorry, I—I—misread that," he panted, trying to clear his own head and painfully aware that this time it was _Finn_ crowding _his_ space and he probably couldn’t be held responsible for his actions past this point. It made it very hard to breathe, and he froze, waiting for Finn to make the next move: to go back to the custard or leave him standing alone in the suite or ( _please gods_ ) let him put his mouth to good use...

"No, not exactly," Finn told him, stepping in front of Poe and bracketing him with an arm on each side and placing a foot to either side of Poe's so he could lean a little closer. "This okay?" he asked gruffly, not sure what he would do if Poe said no but determined to ask. Poe had been so kind about making sure he was okay with anything they did, so Finn would do the same, even if what he _really_ wanted was to kiss Poe senseless before dragging him over to the couch and—do whatever was supposed to come next.

Poe gasped, and nodded—too eagerly—but he couldn't quite find his voice (yes, he, Poe Don't-Know-When-To-Shut-Up Dameron, without words), and the intensity of Finn's gaze was all desire and his demeanor gentle, demanding persistence and Poe decided this was absolutely his kink. He'd seen Finn look threatening and impressive, and this wasn't it, though part of Poe almost wished it was. But no, Finn was clearly overwhelmed by feelings he had probably never experienced before and was _still asking permission_. That did funny things to his insides, making him weak and hungry and happy and sad all at once. Poe found himself reaching back to steady himself on the counter, making Finn take one more step after him, boxing him in entirely. He was still holding his spoon, like gripping a blaster in a firefight. "Y-eah," he finally managed. "Anything. Sorry." Why did he say sorry? "Yes. Finn, I—yes. _Yes!_ "

Almost as soon as Poe gave him permission, Finn leaned forward and kissed him hard, pressing his hands over Poe's and removing the spoon from his fingers and grasping both his hands. "Couch?" he asked, pulling away only enough to indicate the living room with a nod of his head.

Poe nodded dumbly, letting Finn guide him (gently, nothing like the violent passion he thought he would see when Finn finally just snapped) to the couch in the other room. There was still music, but Poe couldn't see BB-8 (like a good wingman, the droid knew when to make themselves scarce, bless 'em). The only thing that told Poe that this was actually happening and he wasn't dreaming was because his dreams were bad, and this was—this was—

"Finn," he tried again. He needed to ask what they were doing, bring up boundaries again, what he was allowed to touch because he wanted _all_ of it, even though talking about it sounded terribly unromantic in the heat of the moment. "Finn, how far do you—do we—want this to go?" ( _How far had it gone already?_ he asked the tightness in his trousers.) "Y-you don't have to do this just because I cooked you dinner, I-I really shouldn't have done that—finger—thing?" Suddenly Poe's knees hit the back of the couch and dropped onto the couch, with Finn standing above him.

That was the problem, Finn didn’t _know._ "Uh—further than—than it is right now," Finn answered. He looked down at Poe when he sat down and shook his head: "I'm not doing this because of the dinner," he told Poe, sitting down on the couch and turning to face him. " _I_ want this. If—if you still do—we don't have to just because I want to," he told him, reaching over for his hand and intertwining their fingers.

"Of _course_ I want to, Finn," Poe said, squeezing his hands a little desperately, still unsure this was real. "Kriff, I'm here for all of it. You just—do what you want to do, please. And I'll help?" That was kind of lame, so he took Finn's hands and kissed them. "Or you could tell me what you'd like me to do..." he said, licking a sticky spot of custard from Finn's knuckle.

"Can we—without clothes?" he asked, fiddling with the buttons on Poe's shirt. He just wanted to feel Poe's warm skin against his as much as possible. And...okay, maybe he wanted to kiss all of Poe's beautiful tattoos, and feel his gentle touches on his back and sides and arms and—maybe other places, too, now.

Poe smiled, torn between relief and disappointment that they were back in familiar territory, and he nodded. "Yeah, yeah," he said ( _kriff they were going to be so much trouble for the things they were possibly about to do on this couch_ ), tugging his shirt over his head and scrambling up on his knees to lose his trousers, underwear, and shoes before Poe started in on Finn's clothes, taking his time with him and peppering his face with kisses. "How's this?"

Finn helped Poe get his clothes off, their hands fumbling together several times when they both attempted the same buttons. "Mmmmm," he said, pulling Poe back to the couch with him and leaning into him to kiss his neck, and his shoulders, and his lips again. He pulled away briefly with a wicked grin and tangled his fingers in Poe's hair. "Get—get on top of me? And kiss me?" he asked breathlessly.

“O _ho_ , yes, hell yes.” Poe gave a low growl ( _Maker help me_ , he thought) because Finn had his hands in his hair and then Poe wasn't thinking, was obeying, fulfilling: he gently nudged Finn down onto his back on the couch and kissed him, pressing down with his weight. There was a tangle of knees but he slotted them together until they each had one knee between the other's legs, erotic and a little dangerous. "You like this?" he purred. "Where else may I kiss you?"

"Yes," Finn answered adamantly. "Any—anywhere," he answered, "I mean it," he added, just in case there was some doubt in Poe's mind. He moaned softly and put an arm around Poe's shoulders.

Poe huffed: he didn't mean it because Poe could come up with some places he wanted to kiss that were...not quite off limits but probably fifth-date places. "Good. Keep talking to me." Since he offered, though, Poe grasped Finn's shoulders and kissed a path down the hollow of his neck and across his chest, finally planting a lingering wet kiss on a dusky nipple, waiting to see what that would do.

Finn arched his body slightly against Poe's kisses, bending the arm over his shoulder so he could tug at the curls against Poe's neck. "That's—" he broke off with a whine, "Hey, wow. It feels— _good_ ," he said breathlessly.

That was the reaction he wanted, as Finn arching up against him made Poe feel like he was flying. He grinned and went back to the nipple, this time sucking gently and using his teeth. He pressed Finn's shoulders into the couch hard, knowing how he loved that, too.

Finn was rapidly losing interest in using actual words, since sounds seemed to work just as well (and Poe seemed to be more inclined to respond to them anyway). He moaned again, squirming a little on the couch, and since he couldn't reach Poe to kiss him, buried both hands in his hair and pressed with his fingertips before tugging, just a little, not enough to hurt, to see how Poe would react.

" _Hhnngggh_ ," Poe grunted, rather eloquently. "Finn, yes," he managed, through sheer force of will, because Finn needed to know how spectacular he was. He growled now, kissing Finn fiercely, and wrenching one arm above his head he pinned it to the couch and ran his nails down Finn's forearm, almost roughly in his desperation.

Finn whimpered as his back arched again, his hips following of their own accord as Poe pinned one of his arms and scratched it. He gasped as he accidentally ground against Poe's leg in the process, because _oh no that also felt good_ , but they totally hadn't talked about this. "Sorry," he panted, keeping his hips still even as he arched against Poe's chest again.

"Don't apologize," Poe told him firmly, and kissed him. "You want this, you keep going. Love you. Want to give you everything you want tonight." He nudged his knee a little closer between Finn's legs and began gently sucking on the other nipple, which had so far been neglected. And, since Finn seemed to like it so much, he ran his nails all the way up his arm, from wrist to shoulder.

Poe was attempting to drive him mad—he was certain of it. But he'd moved his leg, almost invitingly, and he'd said it was okay. Finn felt exposed and nervous, but when Poe scraped his nails down Finn's arm, he didn't stop himself arching again, and this time his gasp turned into a low grunt as the sensation made his hips buck a little harder than he'd expected. "Poe—" he gasped, "What—" he started to ask, and then stopped. Stupid question—of course grinding against Poe was making him hard. He just didn't know what to _do_ about it, and he didn’t want to ignore it. He hadn't really planned this far.

"Yes, that's it, that's—oh, _ohh_ ," he said, and paused, with great effort, at the very physical reaction Finn was having, and how concerned he looked about it. "Sorry, hey, it's okay. We can stop, if you want. Since we didn't…talk about getting this far. Or—you can let me help you?"

Poe couldn’t stop thinking about how Finn had never even touched himself: would going any further freak him out or blow his mind?

"I don't want to _stop_ ," Finn said breathlessly, and grabbed Poe’s shoulders, "I just don't know—don't know what to _do_ ," he said a little self-consciously. "Help?" he asked.

“Oh thank the Maker,” Poe gasped, and then he smiled, relieved, and he huffed out a laugh of joy, the smile reaching his eyes. That he could most certainly do. That was easy. That was _only what he had wanted to do for months now_. "I cannot think of anything I want more than to help you out right now, Finn. Can I—you want me to use my hand or my mouth? Mouth feels better," he told him in fairness, "but we can still kiss if I use my hands." He kissed Finn gently and rocked against him without shame this time. "And you can still stop me at any point."

Finn’s brow furrowed, briefly, but he huffed out a breath as Poe rocked against him. "I like kissing you," he answered, leaning up to kiss Poe before he let his head drop back to the couch.

Poe kissed him gently, softly, distracting him and caressing him. "I love you. I love you, you're so beautiful. Here, sit up with me, Finn. Want you to watch me do this." Poe pulled Finn upright, and then into his lap, into his protection, holding him. "Kiss me," he said, and when they were busy, he closed a fist around Finn's cock and gave him a quick, gentle stroke, testing how it affected him, trying to figure out what he liked.

Poe was very adept at getting Finn distracted—he did it all the time, with those soft, sweet kisses that made him ignore everything else in the world. This time was no exception, although he definitely startled when Poe's fingers closed around his cock. It was like electricity had shot up his spine—but not painfully, not at all. He nuzzled against Poe's neck, nipping very gently. "Ahh-ah—yeah. Again?" he asked quietly, not wanting to sound too needy, but really, desperately wanting Poe to try that again.

"Yeah?" Poe said with a sly grin, like he didn't know how effective it would be. But even as he was teasing the soldier in his arms, he could also feel himself reacting, hardening against Finn's hip. "Kriff, Finn, you're so beautiful. Perfectly shaped, all of you. Never gonna let you forget how handsome you are," he whispered, pecking kisses along his jaw while he worked him, beginning to twist his wrist as he stroked. "That feel good? Faster, harder?" These questions were a courtesy: Finn didn’t know any better than Poe did what he liked, and they would find that out together.

"Yeah. Perfect, you're—you're perfect," Finn answered, trailing off into a soft moan as Poe twisted his hand.  "Said we could— _kiss_ ," he said, leaning his forehead against Poe’s temple as his breaths came quick and harsh. " _Kriff_ , Poe," he said in a whisper.

"Come here," Poe ground out, grabbing the back of Finn's head to wrench him into a kiss. His hand jerked until his arm burned, but it surprised them both when Finn suddenly came all over his hands and between them, some of it striking them both in the chest, and Poe was the happiest man alive just from the bliss on Finn's face.

Finn made a surprised noise halfway between a yelp and a moan when he came unexpectedly—probably more unexpected for him, since he'd very literally _skipped this chapter_ in the books Poe had given him. He was lost to it for several long moments, his head swimming pleasantly in _Forcewhydidittakemesolongtogetoverwantingthis_. “Oh, wow,” he gasped. When he finally managed to drag himself back to the present, Finn almost jumped up to get something to clean them off, dying of embarrassment, but then he realized Poe didn't seem even the least bit upset about it. He was, in fact, grinning. "Didn't know about that," he told him, resting his head in the crook of Poe's neck and inhaling deeply. "I—that was amazing," he told him.

"Whoa, hey, wait, come back here," Poe said, using his shirt to clean up the bulk of the mess, though he deliberately swiped a finger through the come that ended up on Finn's chest and licked it up before kissing him again. "Thank you," Poe said. "That was amazing, you're amazing. Let me hold you?" He offered, but Finn didn't look tired—he looked more awake. "Didn't you read about orgasms? After our chat?" He wondered with a wry smile, content to hold him through the afterglow, kissing and petting him.

"No? I may've...skipped...that...chapter?" Finn said, and gave Poe a bright, if still slightly dazed, smile. He shifted around a little, practically burrowing against Poe's chest because he was warm, and now that all the excitement was wearing off, Finn could just bet he'd be cold in another ten or fifteen minutes. "Think we could get someone to build a machine that'll just...stop time, and we can stay here awhile?" he asked softly.  Right now, he never wanted to leave this moment—and if he could've kept the whole evening so far to live over and over, he'd have done that too.

"Gods, Finn, I'm going to have to sit and watch you to make sure you read everything this time!" Poe laughed, pulling Finn close to pet his hair and scratch his arm gently. "I think it feels like time has already slowed down a bit for us. Could stay like this all night with you." He kissed Finn's brow and hummed softly, perfectly content. "Love you."

"Can we?" Finn asked, "Here?" he ventured, although that was probably asking too much, if only because they weren't even supposed to be in the suite. "I'll read, I promise." He sighed happily, subtly turning his arm so Poe was scratching the inside of it.

"Yeah, whatever, we'll clean up after ourselves," Poe said easily. "Want to get into the bed?"

"Mmmm," Finn hummed an assent, and managed to weave to his feet. He stretched lazily, then pulled Poe to his feet. "Yeah, I kinda do," he said, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend gently but thoroughly.

Poe got up, wincing slightly and cupping himself, but followed Finn to the bed, slipping underneath the silk covers and crawling on top of Finn. "I think we've got one other problem to deal with," he growled, dragging his hips against Finn as he kissed him, his own erection obvious.

"What pr—oh!" Finn said, grinning a little wickedly as he realized that Poe was as hard as he'd been just earlier. "Do you—um—you could tell me what to do. To help?" he asked, reaching up and playing with Poe's hair again.

Poe huffed, rocking against him with a hiss. "I won’t need long. Do you want to...? Are you curious?"

"I am...sort of, yes," Finn said. "I want to make you feel good like I feel good. But I don't know how," he said, propping himself up on his elbows.

Poe smiled and planted a wet kiss on Finn's cheek. "You already have, buddy. Made me the happiest man in the galaxy, letting me see you so happy," he purred, kissing Finn and writhing against him. "I’ll start. You can watch me, and jump in if you want?" He asked, rolling to one side and taking himself in hand. “I imagine you’ll be a quick learner with this like you are with everything,” he said with a wink.

Finn looked over at Poe and smiled shyly. "Are you...um...sure?" he asked. It wasn't that he _minded_ watching—he would never not like watching Poe, whatever he was doing—but...well, he would rather do _more_. "You're going to show me?" he asked.

"Yeah," Poe said, sitting up against the headboard. "It's—hard to get wrong," he hissed, already working himself and already close. "Just do what feels good." He gave Finn a few other pointers and tips, in case he wanted to try this out on him (or on himself) later. He paused when he felt himself near the edge, beginning to pant. "Want to try? You could just kiss me to help me along."

"I _could_ just kiss you," Finn answered, and leaned over to kiss Poe, long and deep and maybe with a little bit of nipping, since Poe seemed to like that. And, since Poe had told him it was okay, he very gently moved one hand to rest over Poe's, getting the feel of the motion. "I love you so much," he hummed in his ear.

Poe stuttered. "L-love—you—oh, yes, that’s it, Finn," he moaned. "Touch—please, rub just the head, the top, with your thumb," he begged, and whimpered when Finn touched him and he came hard all over their hands. "Oh _stars_ , Finn," he gasped, collapsing back and smiling at him. Still, Finn's smile was more beautiful than orgasm.

Finn leaned over and peppered kisses all over Poe's face and chest, and then scrambled the fastest he'd ever scrambled to grab a towel from the bathroom and return to snuggle some more next to Poe. He nudged up close to him and very gently wiped them both clean, then nuzzled his throat and rested his ear against his chest for a moment, listening to his still-fast heartbeat.

"Hey, come...back...okay," Poe sighed, relaxing as Finn came back and cleaned them both. "You take good care of me," he said, pressing his nose to Finn's hair, and eventually curling around him. "Thank you. That felt really good. You make me feel so good, Finno, sweetheart. Thank you for...everything. Wanna sleep?"

Finn raised his head as Poe shuffled and eventually settled, and then put it back down where it'd been and nodded. "Yeah, I could sleep," he answered, resting an arm across Poe's chest and hugging him before relaxing again. He couldn't remember having been this content before—close, when Poe had given him a massage, but even then worry had been a distant buzz in his head, even if his body had relaxed. Now, there was—quiet, and hazy thoughts of sleep and how happy he was that Poe existed and that he loved him, in spite of everything. And relief, that they had done this and it had felt so good and no one was in trouble and he hadn’t screwed anything up and it didn’t actually feel dirty or wrong at all, it felt _so right_. "You really are amazing, Poe. Thank you—for dinner, and for—for being patient, and for helping me," Finn whispered into the soft silence around them.

"Thanks for letting me help you. It helps me," Poe admitted. "You're welcome. Love you." He shifted, crawling over the top of Finn. Poe laughed: they had this huge bed and all they wanted was each other. "No nightmares tonight, either of us," he ordered. "I couldn't bear it."

"No nightmares," Finn agreed, smiling as Poe crawled on top of him and used knees, elbows, and hands to tell him exactly where he wanted him. Tonight, it appeared he wanted to snuggle his arms in close, so Finn pulled in his elbows and interlaced his fingers over his chest.

"Mm, mine," Poe finally said, holding Finn close once he was in a nice neat bundle. "My Finn. Comfy? Love you. Oh! Bee can you get the lights, please?" He was very faded and very sated, however, so Poe didn't last much longer. "Love you."

"Mmmmm, yours," Finn responded.  "Very comfy. The comfiest. I love you too," he said dreamily, already half-asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

Poe dreamed he was flying, which meant all was well. Admittedly, in this dream, he was a whisperbird flying over his family's ranch on Yavin IV, and he was watching Finn and Rey work on an old speeder with his father, and the dream was nice except he had to tell Finn something urgent but Finn couldn't speak bird and neither could Rey and Poe thought that this must be how BB-8 felt all the time and that was what woke him.

BB-8 was bleeping gently. [Time to get up, Friend-Poe! Time to wake Friend-Finn!]

"Awww, Bee," he whined, burying his face in Finn's hair, loving how soft and cushiony it felt against his face.

[Cleaning estimate three hours] the droid informed him. [Calculated to account for distractions.]

Poe grinned as the droid was clearly using the entendre subroutine Poe had programmed them with, which was much nicer than BB-8 referring to ‘meatbag mating routines,’ which they had learned from R2.  

Really, _the best wingman_. Poe got up on his elbows, staring down at the young, handsome face in front of him. "Should I wake him up with a blowjob?" he wondered absently.

BB-8 cocked their head to one side. [I did not calculate this into the distractions.] Poe pouted, but BB-8 whirred closer to beep softly at him: [However, I did calculate time for refresher distractions!]

Poe beamed, and rolled Finn over to kiss him awake. "Rise and shine, gorgeous."

"Mmmm," Finn hummed when he awoke to Poe's kisses. He smiled up at him and blinked a few times. "You're much better than an alarm clock," he said, his voice a little scratchy with sleep. "Good morning, handsome," he added, and stretched a little.

Poe grinned and continued pressing kisses to whatever skin he could reach, especially focusing on the back of Finn's neck, which made him shiver beneath him. "Good morning to you, too," Poe said, stretching briefly before curling tightly around Finn again. "Mm you're so warm. But we gotta get up. Hit the ‘freshers, got some cleaning to do." An idea struck him, knowing Finn was too kind for his own good. "You don't have to help," he offered, getting up on knees and elbows and crawling out of the bed.

"I'm helping," Finn told Poe, rolling over and climbing out of bed to follow him to the bathroom. "But refresher first," he added, catching up to Poe and stealing a few kisses of his own.

"I can't handle how sweet you are," Poe said, wrapping Finn in his arms and surprised by the pressure against his hip—looking down: "Ah, someone was having a good dream last night," he said, gently caressing Finn's morning wood. "You’re beautiful like this," Poe said, when Finn looked a little worried. "This'll make refresher time more fun."

Finn shivered a little at the slightly mischievous way Poe grinned when he said "fun" in that manner. "What're we waiting for, then?" he asked, an attempt at the suave nonchalance that Poe managed so well, and that felt utterly ridiculous to even attempt to imitate. He tried to keep a straight face, even, but failed entirely and giggled instead. "That was ridiculous. But really: refresher now?" he asked, grabbing Poe and hauling him into the refresher.

Poe raised an eyebrow and bit his lip, following and pushing Finn backwards into the (huge, ornate) refresher. "Was that you coming onto me?" he wondered, thrilled. "Do it again." He hoped that would keep Finn busy while he figured out how to work this damned refresher...

"Maybe?" Finn asked. "What's that mean? Like flirting, but with more intent?" He wasn't sure how to do it again, since really he'd only seen an opening to say something ridiculous and seized the opportunity.

"Ah, here we go," Poe finally said, turning on the 'fresher and sighing as the steam and heat and water poured over their shoulders, making Finn's skin look like the sky dotted with stars. "Wow, you—hm? Coming onto?" His eyes brightened mischievously. "Yeah, like that. Flirting is the cute stuff; coming onto is like—just a step away from saying 'let's you and me do the pantsless lightsaber duel' outright." He cackled, arms going around Finn and pressing him to one of the walls with a demanding kiss. "And it usually sounds precisely that ridiculous. But that’s kinda the point. I think people who don't like to have _fun_ with sex are not the kind of people one needs to be having sex with."

Finn grinned brightly and put his arms around Poe's waist, hands resting on the small of his back. "'Pantsless lightsaber duel', really?" he asked, "Amazing." He laughed and let Poe press him against the wall of the 'fresher, but retaliated just a little. This time, rather than going straight for the hair-tugging that he knew would probably make Poe go all weak in the knees, he pressed his knuckles into the muscles in Poe's back, much the way Poe had done to him when he'd given him a massage.

Poe chuckled, glad to have made an impression, and he kissed the corner of Finn's smile. But he was caught off guard by the pressure of knuckles in his back—at once comfortable, deliciously painful, and thrilling— "Hnuhh, ohh," he groaned as he fell forward against Finn, palm flat against his chest, their sexes sliding together. "That's—that feels good," he whispered, nosing his way into Finn's neck to kiss and teeth at the skin there, letting his hands wander down to grip Finn's ass. "How’s this feel?" he asked, giving Finn his own gentle massage.

"Mmmhmm," Finn answered, running his knuckles gently up Poe's back again and pausing when he found a few knots. "May I?" he asked, not wanting to work at the knots if it was going to bother him. He shifted, pressing his hips harder against Poe's and leaving himself gasping a little.

"Y-yeah," Poe said, rocking his hips against Finn's at every hard press. "Feels—ow—feels _so_ good," he said, lips focusing, mindless, on a spot of skin in the hollow of Finn's collarbones that made him gasp and tremble whenever Poe kissed him there. His hands meanwhile were busy kneading Finn's ass (the perfect combination of tight and fleshy) and pulling their hips together, seeking friction for both of them. He wondered if he could finish them both off without touching either of them, but he wasn't opposed to finding a better use for his hands. "Mm, you feel so good. Taste so good," he moaned, latching onto the spot with his mouth and sucking harder.

Finn tipped his head back and moaned, temporarily losing his concentration on the knots in Poe's back. Between Poe's hands, his mouth, and his hips, Finn was rapidly beginning to feel a little light-headed, in the best way possible. Poe pulled their hips together hard again, and Finn met the roll of his hips with one of his own. "You're—better," Finn gasped as their hips pressed together again—and this time he pressed his fingers into Poe's back again, not even aware that he was moaning softly as he did it.

Poe huffed at that, because it was patently false, for he was arching wantonly into Finn at each touch. He pulled off Finn's neck with a gasp, licking the spot where a tiny bruise had blossomed. "Gave you a hickey. Fuck, sorry," he said, but grinned, not really sorry at all. Finn's clever fingers suddenly found a knot in his lower back that sent a shock straight to his cock and Poe couldn't stand it anymore, reaching between them to grasp them together. He kicked Finn's feet further apart so they were better matched in height, and worked them together, arching and moaning and entirely uninterested in getting clean. "This feel good?" he breathed, between open-mouthed, possessive kisses, one hand still gripping a handful of Finn's ass. "Want to come with you."

"So good," Finn said, more gripping at Poe's back now than actually managing any sort of massage. "Isn't going to take long," panted, shivering as Poe kept him where he was by virtue of pinning him against the wall while he pulled him close with the hand that was on his ass. He arched against Poe's hand again, and let out a small gasp.  "Poe—" he said in warning, "Cl—close."

"Good, good, tell me what you like, what you want," Poe gasped. He wanted more talking, though Finn was now making these helpful little gasp-whine noises when he liked something, like he was discovering something new and alarmingly wonderful, and they drove Poe absolutely kriffing _insane_ with lust. They weren't going to last long enough to talk, so Poe dug his fingernails into Finn's flesh where he was holding his hip, and pumped his hand between them. "I've got you, I've got you, buddy, I know. Me t-too. Come for me," he begged, twisting his hand sharply at the last second to wrench an orgasm from them both.

Finn was less surprised this time, though it felt so— _so_ —good when he finally came at the same moment as Poe, gasping together, that he was left momentarily unsteady. Luckily, he and Poe seemed to be holding each other up, and he rested his head against Poe's collarbone with a soft sigh as the buzz of pleasure faded to a warm, contended feeling. "You're so good, Poe. You're so good to me," he breathed, nuzzling at the skin where he'd been resting his head. "I love you so much."

Finn was disappointingly _quiet_ as they finished—which Poe noticed because be stifled his own cry against Finn's neck, all teeth—but his pleasure was obvious. Poe collapsed against him, pressing them to the wall which was doing more to hold them up than they were, panting and guiding Finn into a sloppy kiss. "Love you, love you. I'm not the good one," he said with a wry little smile. "C'mere." Now that he could stand, he pulled Finn into a close embrace, letting him lean on him and rubbing his back carefully. "Thank you," he said. He was probably going to thank Finn every single time they did this, which wasn’t exactly classy, but he meant it and it wasn’t like Finn knew any better. After another moment, he pulled back, cupping Finn's face. "Was that good? Do you want anything else from me? Will you let me wash you?"

"That was so much more than good," Finn said earnestly, turning his head so he could kiss the palm of one of Poe's hands. "Yes, of course," he purred, "if you'll let me do the same for you." He was still pinned against the wall, though gently, "I'd also like to kiss you," he said, and kissed Poe softly, completely unhurried about it.

"Mm, it was good for me, too," Poe said, letting Finn lead the kiss this time, and he opened his eyes only when Finn was quite through with him. "Any time," he said, and grinned. "Okay, BB-8 is going to yell at us any second to get out and get to work, so hold still," he said, finding soap and rubbing a lather all over Finn's body, quickly but gently cleaning him. "Okay, my turn," he said, stepping back and holding his arms out at his sides as if to let Finn search him, and he grinned broadly.

"Pffff, show-off," Finn muttered, maneuvering so he was under the water and could let it rinse the soap from him while he rubbed soap all over Poe's beautiful skin, brushing gentle fingertips over tattoos and scars. "You're done, if you'd like to rinse off. I'll grab towels," Finn said, taking advantage of the moment it would take Poe to rinse off to step out of the refresher and pull down two towels: one for himself, and one that he held open and ready to drape on Poe's shoulders when he got out of the refresher.

Poe rinsed off and shut off the water, tossing his hair back and reaching for the towel, but instead Finn was spreading the towel wide and waiting. Poe brightened. "Is there a hug hiding behind that towel?" he asked, smiling helplessly as he stepped into it.

"Of course there is!" Finn said with a laugh, wrapping the towel over Poe's shoulders and hugging him tightly. "And just your luck, today there's a special deal—a lifetime supply of hugs for the very low price of free!" he joked, his happiness bubbling over into another laugh. He buried his nose in Poe's hair—even though it hadn't been washed with shampoo, it smelled comfortingly like the pillows on their bed. "But it's a limited-time offer, so you have to act now!"

Poe laughed, unable to believe how stupidly silly this was and unable to contain how much he wanted it. "Oh no, oh no," he said urgently. "I want them, quick, where do I sign?" he demanded. 

Finn's laugh was bright this time, full of all the unconditional love he had in him. "You claim them by, mmmmm," he hadn't thought this far, "By kissing me!" He pulled the towel around so the front was open instead of the back, but still held so it wouldn't fall off Poe's shoulders.

And then Poe was in his arms, cradling the small of Finn's back and the back of his head, kissing him like they were in one of those classic holovids, tilting his head just the right way and, as it deepened, Poe may have unconsciously bent Finn back a little, dipping him just slightly. Both their towels fell to the floor.

When they stopped, more for breath than anything, BB-8 was whistling in annoyance and, okay, they really _did_ have to get dressed and start cleaning. Poe's shirt was—well, filthy, so he zipped up his flight suit all the way instead, and they hastily washed dishes, changed sheets, and packed up their food: "We need this to bribe anyone who might see us leaving," Poe explained. "BB-8's in good with the service droids, so they won't say anything."

"Can we bribe them with the flan last?" Finn asked, doing the best impression he could of a pathetic begging face.

Poe bit his lip to keep from laughing at how earnest Finn was, and he nodded. "Sure. We'll put it at the bottom of the cooler. Worst case scenario," Poe said, organizing the box of food and stuffing a cold empanada in his mouth: breakfast of champions. He offered Finn one before closing up the box. "Here, you hold the food, I'll grab the trash," he said, so they would leave no trace. At the door, he kissed Finn again. "Thank you, Finn, I mean it. Thank you for—being my best friend, and for—letting me be your lover. Thanks for letting me make you happy and for making me happy in return. I just—thanks." Poe opened his mouth, about to go on, when the PA system blared (it was _right_ over their heads, ouch):

"COMMANDER DAMERON TO THE GENERAL'S OFFICE. GENERAL ORGANA PAGING COMMANDER POE DAMERON."

Poe's eyebrows rose to his hairline. "Okay, there's no way she found out _this_ quickly!" he cried, looking down at BB-8, who shook their head in response, beeping [Don't look at me!]

"Go see what the General wants," Finn said, giving Poe a kiss on the cheek and stealing the garbage bag so he could throw it away. "Meet you at our room after? Or at the mess hall?" he asked.

Poe tried to steal the bag back. "Hey, I can—get that," he said, deflating, but he returned the kiss. "Okay, look, it probably won't be long. I'll meet you in the mess hall, all right? For proper breakfast." He opened the door, looked both ways, and led them out. "Love ya, bud. Come on, BB-8!" he said, and jogged down the corridor.

"General, I can explain," Poe began, a wide, unassuming grin on his face until he saw her guest—a Republic Admiral—Admiral Tallon, whom Poe knew of but had never met—and snapped to attention.

"At ease, Dameron," the general said. "This man has a mission for you."

Which was good, because he could just as easily be here to arrest him for desertion…

Finn shook his head fondly as Poe loped off—still with the flight suit zipped all the way up like he'd just come back from patrol—and turned to take the garbage to a compactor drop. Then he went and dropped their food at the room. On his way out the door, he grabbed one of Poe's clean t-shirts in case he didn't want to wear his flight suit zipped the whole morning, and slung it over his shoulder. When he got to the mess hall, several other pilots were hanging around with a couple of his foot soldiers, giving each other a hard time about the upcoming boloball match. He got some coffee and went to join them while waiting for Poe to show up.

"Where is Poe wandering around base without a shirt on? Wasn't he called to the General's?" Jess asked, sitting down beside Finn with a smile.

"No one saw either of you at dinner last night," Karé said, sitting on his other side.

"Someone said they smelled empanadas," Iolo added, sitting across from Finn.

"That was me," Snap supplied.

"Because he has his flight suit on," Finn answered, which was technically exactly true. "I don't know about the empanadas," he added, which may have been a mistake. Both Snap and Jess gave him suspicious looks. " _I_ was learning about expectations of officers," he said, which was, again, technically, partially, true. They'd talked about officers being expected to dance. "I'm thinking about taking the officer exam."

They all sat back, giving Finn equally impressed looks. Every once in a while, the pilots could be, like birds in flight, oddly in sync. Finn, however, seemed unfazed.

"Well—but you can't have been doing that _all_ night," Jess pressed.

"What I want to know is why he's wearing his flight suit without a shirt under it..." Iolo said, narrowing his eyes.

"This all has _nothing_ to do with Poe Dameron's empanadas," Snap said firmly.

"We _slept_ , if that's what you're asking," Finn told Jess, grinning. This was kind of a fun game, this lying without lying thing. He glanced quickly at Iolo, wondering if he was on to them, but Snap gave him a perfect distraction. He shifted his attention to Snap and squirmed guiltily. "...Okay, okay—he may have cooked empanadas for dinner," he said, like this was the secret he'd been trying to keep. Hopefully they'd be so indignant they'd forget all about the shirt.

"Well, where are they?" Snap said, taking Finn by the shoulders. "PLEASE, Finn. Life Day is a long way away, and last year I had a rotation to fly so I only got _one_. One, Finn! Please!"

"Tell us where he hid the food!" Karé cried, suddenly desperate, shaking his arm.

"Hey, hey, that's our Captain!" Torch said, the younger recruits stepping together like a phalanx along with some of the older soldiers. “Unnecessary roughness!”

"You trying to damage our most valuable player before the big game?" asked Kal. Kal was the grandson of an actual Clone trooper, and he had a great deal of respect for Finn, and everyone on base had a great deal of respect for him. Also, he was huge.

"Er—no?" Karé said, and she and the rest of the pilots scooted away from Finn. "We're all friends here!"

"We _may_ have had leftovers," Finn answered, throwing his soldiers a grin, "I don't know what Poe is planning on doing with them, though," he added. He wasn't even going to mention the flan—he had plans to eat at least a large portion of the remainder, if Poe didn't beat him to it.

Things continued amicably after that, and everyone was even nicer than usual to Finn, whose good graces meant Poe's good graces and, probably, maybe, empanadas. Though even this was soon forgotten as talk turned to the boloball match, and any good new gossip, until finally Iolo asked: "Okay, but where _is_ Poe? Surely being reamed for sneaking Finn into the VIP suite doesn't take _this_ long?"

"YOU KNEW!" Karé said, pinching him in the arm. "How did you know?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe's recon mission goes fine.

It was practically lunch time by the time Poe got out of the briefing, his stomach rumbling. The bad news was that he was heading to Geonosis, to check on rumors of the First Order having cloning facilities—a thought that made Poe shudder—but the good news was he needed a gunner to go with him and, of course, Poe thought, who better to accompany him than someone who knew the First Order and could certainly handle a gun?

"EMPANADAS!" Snap wailed the second he saw Poe, and there was suddenly a great commotion and lots of laughter and jostling.

"We know where you were last night!" Jess cried, and Poe blushed, confirming—well, whatever it was they thought.

"Sorry, Poe, I had to tell them about the empanadas," Finn said with a smile, trying to indicate to Poe that, this time, he definitely hadn't run and his mouth off to Jess or the other pilots. "What's the news?"

"I've got a very important mission," he said, exaggerating for the sake of those gathered around, and pulled Finn to his feet with a wink.

"Oooh," everyone said. "Where to?" someone asked.

"That's probably classified?" Poe said, "Seeing as how we've got a Republic Admiral in the General's office right now."

That caused a stir, and lots of whispering. Some people disappeared. 

"She says I need a gunner, and I thought—I hoped—" Poe took Finn's hands. "I thought we could talk Dr. K. into letting you come along?" Poe tried, softly, dragging Finn a bit away from the group. "I mean don't worry about it, I could take Arana with me. I just wanted to offer it to you first."

Finn managed a smile for Poe, although he knew he couldn't possibly go with him. "I would—you know I would—but I can't," he said and shook his head. "You'll be much safer with Arana, this time. But thank you for asking me." He put his hand on Poe's shoulder and squeezed it briefly.

Something inside Poe felt robbed, crushed, even, but he didn't get to be Squadron Commander without an ability to be diplomatic (i.e., lie). This wasn't _about_ him, anyway: if Finn still felt unreliable (though Poe would— _did_ , every night—trust him with his life), then that was something he and Dr. Kalonia needed to work out. "Hey, that's fine, buddy," he said easily, clapping him on the shoulder. "Hey, look, it's just gonna be a few days, but I'm gonna need to take BB-8 with me. That okay?" Of course, Finn was well-liked across the base, so it wasn't like Finn would ever be left without friends. His recruits, especially, loved him to death and would charge into the belly of a sarlaac for him.

"If you tried to leave Bee here, I think we'd both object," Finn commented. "Wouldn't trust any other droid to take care of you. Right, buddy?" Finn asked the softly rocking droid at their feet. BB-8 nodded so hard they rolled forward and back. "We're agreed, see? I'll be fine for three days.  It's not even half a week," Finn said, faking a nonchalance he really wasn't feeling. Bee not-so-subtly rolled onto his feet and pressed against his shins, and he smiled down at them.

Poe's brow wrinkled, his calm dissipating. _Finn wasn't going to be okay without him!_ a panicked part of his mind worried. "No, it's not, but—I have to go now. Like, I need to be changing right now. Finn—" he said, perhaps about to protest one last time, but then he sighed and let it go, knowing this was just as hard for Finn. "I'm gonna miss you," he said instead, quietly. "Three days is going to seem like—months, to me." He chewed on his lip, wanting to say more. "I gotta go. Black One's already being prepped."

"Hey," Finn said, "I promise I'll be alright.  So will you." He hugged Poe to him and then handed him his shirt. "Can I come see you off?  Kinda want to see you fly that pretty X-Wing again," he said with a crooked grin.

Poe gave Finn a mirrored grin. "You _sure_ they didn't teach you flirting in the First Order?" he said, and gave Finn a peck on the cheek, taking the shirt with him. "Let's go. Hey, Arana, you're with me. We're taking off in five."

"Shit, what?" Iolo said, but dutifully scarfed his meal and nodded.

Before they reached the hangar, Poe took Finn's hand as they walked. "I'll be on Geonosis, only don't tell anyone else that. That's just for you, so you know. It's a scout and scoot—nothing crazy, we're not expecting trouble—but then the General assigned me a gunner, so." He shrugged. "The Keshian's got great eyes, though, so we'll be fine. And you'll—do you want to...do you think you should sleep in medical, while I'm gone? Of course you can have the bed, I mean. It's yours now, too." He stopped them, turning to face Finn. "Sorry I'm making this awkward. I love you. I'll see you soon," he said, a little more stoically.

"I'll try the bed, and if I have trouble I'll go talk to Kalonia. _You_ make sure to take care of yourself and your gunner—forewarning, he's totally onto us." He wrapped his arms around Poe's shoulders and pulled him against his chest, then pulled away just enough to give him a good, long kiss. "I love you too—especially when you're making things awkward. See you in a few days."

Sustained by that kiss, knowing it would have to keep him going, Poe put on a brave face. "See you in a few days."

He climbed into the cockpit, BB-8 following him, and Iolo soon after. He went through preflight, giving that his focus, and when Iolo jumped in, he began briefing him on the objective.

"Sounds boring," Iolo said. "Why didn't Finn go with you?"

"Let's just...stick with the mission," Poe ground out.

"Oh, gods, it's gonna be that kind of flight? With all due respect, Commander, you're awful company when you're pining."

"Shut up and keep those eyes peeled." Poe looked back only once, waving at Finn before focusing on what was ahead.

Finn watched Poe's ship until it was too small to see, then turned and wandered back to their room. He stayed there for a while, haphazardly putting away clean clothes and putting discarded dirty clothes (mostly Poe's) in a hamper. In the process, he found the leftover food, and unpacked the empanadas. With a grin, he took them out and went hunting for the pilots, starting in the hangar.

Jess and Snap looked up as Finn returned—with a plate.

"Oh Force help me," Snap said, standing up. "Are those what I think they are? I knew it, you see. Finn's the man!" He laughed and pulled the smaller man into a hug. "I love you! I would kiss you, but Poe would find out and kill me!"

Jess hauled Snap off. "Temmin, back off of the poor kid. We know _Poe’s_ into threesomes, but I’m pretty sure _Finn_ doesn't want you kissing him!" she growled.

"HELP I'M BEING SMOTHERED," Finn said in a loud, flat voice, but gave Snap a return hug anyway and stepped away with a laugh as Jess stepped in. "'Poor kid'?" he asked her, raising both eyebrows.

Jess gave him a wry smile. "Oh, of course you take issue with _that_ and not the threesome wisecrack. What, new guy? Is New Guy better?" Jessika, only a few years older than Finn, winked. "What else did you bring us? You and Poe have fun last night?"

"Sure, I'll take New Guy. Try shouting it at me across the mess hall sometime and see how long it takes me to answer," he joked, stepping out of the way of a passing droid. "And yes, we did, but I'm giving you no more gossip than that. Have an empanada," he said, holding one up in Jess's face.

"I will take that bribe," she said, crunching into the pastry. "Oh gods, they're even better cold. You have any training today? Or you need to read more Manuals? I can give you my old study notes. I didn't go to the Academy, either."

"I have training for a couple of hours this evening—nothing very exciting, though. They're sparring," he said, taking an empanada of his own and biting into it. They were still ridiculously good, even cold and from the previous evening. "You didn't go to the Academy? I was sure all the pilots did," Finn said to Jess. He looked over at Snap. "Did you go to the Academy?"

"Yeah. Jess tested in because she's special or something," Snap explained, going for the last empanada without shame.

"I only had to take the tests to get officer rank, though," she explained. "I just showed up flying and they stuck me in a cockpit." Jessika grinned. "Because I'm awesome. So yes, I've got notes for you."

"I'd appreciate your notes. Thank you," Finn told Jess, and then waved a hand, "But go back." He took another bite of the empanada he was eating. "What do you mean you just 'showed up flying'?" he asked, because there was a story there that sounded much more interesting than Jess was making it seem.

Jess only exaggerated a little about her origin story, flying guerrilla fighters (glorified speeders, basically) on her home planet since she was 13. She wasn't quite as precocious as Poe had allegedly been, but she definitely had never been to any Academy.

They kept Finn company for the rest of the day. The pilots knew their roles even if Poe hadn't said anything, and Jess, Snap, Karé, and all the rest of them kept an eye on Finn, making sure he didn't eat alone and kept busy and entertained as much as he and their own schedules would let them.

For three days, Finn spent more time with his soldiers and with the pilots than he'd spent with people in general since he'd been a stormtrooper. He was alone only at night, which he...dealt with.  The first night he was fine, and the second he was so exhausted that for all four hours of sleep he got, he slept like the dead. The last night, a nightmare awoke him twice, and the second time he finally gave up and spent a half hour in the 'fresher at two in the morning. After that, he read for two hours and took another catnap until he had to wake up at 0700 to train.

All in all, it could have been worse. It could have been better, yes, but it wasn't a complete disaster, and that was some sort of progress. He hoped Poe had been similarly alright, but was still waiting for him somewhat anxiously. He found excuses to wait around the hangar until Jess dragged him over to help her with her X-Wing, and at least managed to keep himself distracted until Poe returned.

…

Poe had eventually eased up on Iolo, who was only trying to help, and it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.

It was easy to distract himself when they had an actual mission to do, but Geonosis was 33 hours away by hyperspace travel. Iolo was good company, which was part of the reason Poe had chosen him for this mission. He even eventually got Poe talking about Finn, which helped.

“Did you sleep with him yet?”

“We…made progress, yes,” Poe said noncommittally, though he knew for a fact that Iolo would consider what they had done last night to be sex. “Not that this is any of your business.”

“As an amicable ex-boyfriend, Poe, with sixty hours to kill with you, this is absolutely my business,” Iolo said kindly. “Anything good and kinky yet?” the Keshian wondered, this time more for his own curiosity. 

“No. Yes. Sort of?” Poe offered, without meaning to.

“Lucky you.”

“Damn it, Iolo, if you tell anyone about this—”

“Well, _Karé_. But your secret’s safe with us.”

The problem came when it was time for them to trade off sleeping. Poe let Iolo sleep first, thinking it would help him sleep if he waited until he was good and tired, but by the time Iolo woke up after six hours' shut-eye and Poe tried to close his eyes, he had already wound himself up so much that all he could see was Kylo Ren’s mask and feel the dark side probing him and—

Poe popped a few caf pills and pretended to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe gets back, and Finn takes care of his pilot.

Geonosis was quiet, and they found nothing on scanners. It was a relief but also kind of a disappointment. The First Order _had_ these cloning facilities—there were too many rumors for it to be false—it was just a matter of where.

They were on their way home ahead of schedule, but it had still been 70 hours since Poe had slept, and he was getting decidedly buggy. He’d gone longer without sleep, but not having to _pretend_ he hadn’t, and that was the problem. BB-8 knew, but BB-8 knew better than to press him.

“Okay, starting the landing sequence. Let ‘em know we’re coming home,” Poe said.

“Uhh, we’re coming in a little hot, aren’t we?” Iolo said.

“Hey, I’ve got a boyfriend to see!” Poe laughed, but he did check his descent. He was tired, he was gross, stewing in his flight suit, and he just wanted to see Finn. And maybe eat some real food. But see Finn first. And sleep.

"Dameron, Arana, you're clear to land. Welcome home."

"Sweeter words have never been spoken," Poe said, and brought her down, already craning to see if Finn was waiting.

Finn's heart may have skipped a couple of beats when Jess shook his shoulder and nodded out the huge hangar door toward Poe's ship. He left off what he was doing and bounded out to meet them, standing just out of the way of the landing starship.

Poe flicked on the PA system: "Good to see you too, buddy, but I'd really rather not blast you with my vents before I kiss you!"

Jess hauled Finn back a few feet as Poe executed a textbook landing. See, he was fine. He didn't need sleep.

"Oh, man, I don't think I'll ever walk again," Iolo moaned as they popped the cockpit and breathed deep, real air. "Nice to not be smelling you anymore."

"I'll be glad when I empty my pee pack," Poe laughed. "Thanks, Iolo."

"Don't mention it, Poe. Go see your boyfriend." 

Poe heaved himself out of the cockpit, sore as hell, but he smiled and slid down the ladder like it was nothing, all but collapsing in Finn's arms. "Hey, buddy! You look great, c'mere! I missed you! Oh, I missed our bed." Finn did look great: smile bright, lips, still perfect, ass, still perfect, yes. Eyes, a little tired, but who was counting? Looks good, see, he was fine without you. "I'm so sorry I smell disgusting. I feel disgusting. I'm starving." But not exactly starving for food, as he grabbed Finn's face and kissed him there, in front of the entire hangar. "I'm sorry, I haven't brushed my teeth in—" but then Finn was kissing him back. Poe was vaguely aware of people around them cheering.

"I _missed_ you," Finn said when they paused kissing for a moment. He leaned back so he could see Poe better, and then pulled him back into a hug. "You look tired," he whispered in his ear, "Do you have to debrief with the General? I could get food while you do that and we could eat in the room."

Poe blinked. "Yeah, I do, but—" he took Finn's hand bashfully. "I don't want to spend another minute without you. Come with me? Did you eat all the leftovers?" he asked, pulling Finn asking with him toward General Organa's. He didn't expect any of it to have lasted three days. "Did I miss anything fun?"

"I may have shared them with Snap and Jess and Karé..." Finn answered, swinging their clasped hands and smiling. "Nah, it was quiet here. The pilots and training kept me busy." He leaned over to give Poe a peck on the cheek. "The scouting trip go alright?" he asked.

"Yeah. Whole lotta nothing. Didn't even touch down, which is why I'm walking like an old man." He grinned and kissed Finn's cheek. He debriefed with the General for all of ten minutes before she told him he looked as bad as he smelled and she'd get his report in the morning. It was on the way to the mess hall, in the middle of telling Finn what Geonosis looked like, that Poe dragged his feet and actually tripped, barely catching himself on Finn's arm.

"You're half-asleep," Finn told his boyfriend when he stumbled and nearly fell. "Think you better hold on to my arm," he said, and grinned. He got them boxes to put their food in and a bag to carry it in without even asking for Poe's input, because he'd probably say he was fine. 

Poe grinned and let Finn take over, gladly. He even managed to flash his pilots a smile and a thumbs-up as they went through the line with Finn taking over, and managed to whisper "It's kinda hot when you take control," which made Finn blush.

Once they were back in their room, Finn looked over at him and frowned. "When's the last time you slept?" he asked, worried that he already knew the answer.

Poe felt like a bug under a microscope all of a sudden. "Uh...I...didn't...?" he answered, and chuckled nervously. "Still a little wired from all those caf pills..."

" _Poe_ ," Finn said, fondly exasperated and a little concerned as he pulled Poe against his chest and hugged him hard, one hand rubbing up and down his back. "Okay, here's the plan. ‘Fresher first, then food, even if it's just a few bites, and then sleep. Sound alright?" he asked. Hopefully those caffeine pills would last just a little longer and keep Poe from falling asleep on his feet or in his food.

"Hey!" Poe protested, but then he was wrenched into a hug and _oh_ , this was what he missed. _This_. The love and warmth and safety of something as stupidly simple as an embrace. Poe believed in the Force, though he had no control over it, because he could feel it tingle between them every time they touched. The only other time he ever felt it was in the cockpit, but right now he wanted to be anywhere but the cockpit, even of Black One. "That...sounds like a good plan," he said with a sloppy grin, and let Finn lead them toward the refresher. He paused at the doorway, eyeing the bed behind him. "You sure we can't skip to step three?" he suggested, leaning towards the bed.

"Yes. Those are clean sheets, and I love you, but you need to clean up," Finn said, leaving the food near the holochess table. He put an arm around Poe's waist and guided him bodily into the bathroom. "I was going to offer to unpack food while you were in the 'fresher, but you're _listing_ —Poe, come on, no sleeping yet," he said, laughing weakly. He turned on the water—hot, the way Poe liked it—and took his clothes off, then helped Poe manage his without falling over, taking the opportunity to steal a few more soft kisses.

Poe blinked owlishly. Maybe the caf really was wearing off, as he was beginning to nod—and that was dangerous. "Sorry, that was dumb," he said quietly, after Finn had very gently but, it seemed, very quickly, divested him of his clothes. "I should have slept, I just— _couldn’t_." To be fair, adrenaline acted differently on him in the cockpit than on the ground, but _still_. He just hoped Finn wouldn't scold him.

He let Finn manhandle him under the spray, and he moaned softly, resting his head on Finn's shoulder and wondering why Finn wanted to kiss him if he hadn't bathed in three days?

"Hey, it's not your fault if you can't sleep, right?" Finn asked as they stood under the spray. "Can I help you wash?" he asked softly, rubbing small, soothing circles on Poe's back. It was probably counter to the goal of Poe not falling asleep in the refresher, but...well, he was here to hold him up if he did fall asleep, at least.

Poe nodded, tucking his face in against Finn's neck and making soft noises of pleasure as Finn so gently washed and cared for him. This was— _heavenly_ —Poe owed him at least three homecooked meals after this, and probably five blowjobs. Had they got to blowjobs yet? Maybe five massages?

He realized when Finn started laughing that he might have been saying some of this out loud, and he rallied and tried to be more helpful and more awake. "Can you hand me my toothbrush?" he asked, cleaning his teeth and rinsing his mouth under the spray. "I think I can wait on food," he said, mostly as a result of brushing his teeth, though his stomach gurgled in protest.

"It won't wake you up if you get hungry?" Finn asked, "I probably have one of those protein drinks in my training bag, if you don't mind the flavor," he offered, shutting off the water and handing Poe a towel as he grabbed his own.

"Yeah, that's...no, it's fine," Poe said, giving his hair a few swipes with the towel and making an effort to dry the rest of him. "Just tired. Missed you." As if to remedy this, Poe dredged up enough energy to tackle Finn to the bed—though really he more just fell on him—and giggled. "You eat, I'll stay right here," he said, curling into Finn's lap, leaving him free from the waist up, and tugged blankets (the wrong end) up over his head. "Good night," he said, voice muffled from his cocoon.

Finn was pretty sure his heart was actually going to _explode_. It was usually Poe doing things like this for him—snuggling him back to sleep when he'd had a nightmare, making sure he had eaten even when he didn't feel like it, just generally _caring_ for him in a way Finn was entirely unaccustomed to. Other than when he'd been shot (and bleeding, and that had been _terrifying_ ) Finn had never seen Poe so ridiculously in need of snuggling and being cared for.

"Hey, flyboy, you've got the wrong end of the blanket," he murmured to him, grabbing the other end and trading it out so the blanket was right-side-up. He wasn't completely exhausted yet, so he picked up the datapad from the side table and started reading through Jess' notes on the manuals he was reading. Since Poe had successfully cocooned himself from the world, he absently petted the blanket where it was covering the pilot's hair. He hummed, too, not really a song so much as notes that kind of went together, and maybe included occasional parts of other songs.

"Thanks," Poe murmured, and "Feels good," he probably meant to say, along with, "I love you," but every time he blinked it seemed that unexpected amounts of time had passed, either because he was in a new position or Finn was doing something different or the light had changed—because even as exhausted as he was, he was still a light sleeper. Poe remembered Finn's voice urging him back to sleep each time, with a soft touch or a kiss, and he didn't need to be told twice (except once, and only because he just wanted Finn to card his fingers through his hair again). Hours later he woke in earnest, suddenly clear-headed and very hungry. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, to find Finn sitting on the edge of the bed reading. "How long was I out?"

Finn yawned and sat up from where he'd hunched over his datapad after taking his own turn in the refresher and turned to look at Poe. 

"Hey, you're awake? Actually awake?" he asked with a grin. There'd been some fairly amusing conversations with a half-asleep Poe in the past... "Oh, ten or eleven hours or so, off and on." He set down the datapad and swung his legs up onto the bed so he could roll toward Poe and kiss his forehead. "Your hair is doing amazing things," he joked, brushing a hand through the unruly mess that was Poe's current hairstyle. "Want food? I went and got breakfast from the mess hall," he said, nodding over to the bedside table.

Poe hummed, smiling contentedly as Finn tried to fix his hair. "Yeah, I could eat a tauntaun right now," he said, sliding up against the headboard and accepting the food and water. "What, no coffee?" He teased.

"Not unless you want decaf," Finn answered. If Poe needed more sleep, he needed to actually _sleep_ , rather than substituting coffee.  "Anyway, the General gave you and Iolo the day off, so you don't need caf. You can sleep all day if you want to. I have to go throw recruits around for a couple hours, later, because they're getting full of themselves sparring each other, but otherwise I'll be here all day, too, probably also catching up on sleep." Just because he'd slept didn't mean he'd slept well, or nearly enough. 

"Maybe I'll come watch you," Poe said, between stuffing his face.

Finn crawled back onto the bed and settled next to Poe, legs stretched out and ankles crossed, and bumped Poe's shoulder with his. "Did you know you talk in your sleep? Whole conversations."

Poe laughed. "Oh Force, I'm sorry. I know I do, I'm the worst." He tried to get a read on what he had talked about from Finn's face, but the ex-stormtrooper was giving him nothing. "Didn't keep you up, did I?"

Finn shook his head, smiling. "No, not at all. I think you were flying or something." He'd actually been quite bossy about telling Finn what he was apparently doing wrong while flying. "It was sort of like a flying lesson, but really incoherent because I couldn't see what we were flying or where."  He didn't mention how relieved he'd been that the dreams hadn't, apparently, been bad, or if they had, they hadn't been bad enough to wake Poe up. "Anyway, you went back to sleep. You did say something about stopping a tauntaun from eating your gym shorts, whatever that was about." Finn had spent the better part of fifteen minutes trying not to wake Poe up with his laughter, after that one.

Poe snorted, nearly choking on a fried frog, and laughed. "Oh gods, I'm sorry, Finn. Really I am." After his hunger was sated, and he finished off the canteen of water, he set the food aside and ended up in Finn's lap. "Now do I get to thank you for enduring so much hardship?" he asked sensuously, a kiss hovering inches from Finn's lips, "Or should I brush my teeth first," he added with a chuckle.

"Yes, it's such a hardship cuddling with you in bed for eleven whole hours," Finn said dryly, putting his arms around Poe's back and then grinning.  Then his smile softened, and he brought one hand up to cup Poe's cheek.  "You could kiss me," he suggested quietly.

Morning breath was no object for Poe, so he cupped Finn's face with a hand and kissed him, softly begging entry at first before he deepened the kiss. "Stars, I missed you, Finn," he groaned, kissing down his neck, hands wandering over chest and shoulders until he was raking his nails down Finn's arms. He hummed as Finn turned his hands palm-up in offering, and he was content, straddling Finn's lap and running his fingernails up and down Finn's forearms, just to kiss him until told otherwise.

"Mmmm," Finn hummed, eyes half-closed as Poe scratched both arms at once. "I missed _you_ ," he replied, the longing clear in his voice. "You need anything?" he asked in between kisses.  "There's more food. And I saved the flan," he said after another long kiss.

"Hm? Oh, no. You should eat it. Got all I want right here," Poe said, scooting closer as his kisses grew more passionate.

"Hey, have a question for you," Finn said as Poe grew a little more insistent with his kisses. "Why didn't you sleep?" This had bothered him all night, the thought of Poe having nightmares in his X-Wing and not being able to sleep. He probably could talk to Dr. Kalonia about it, but since he seemed hesitant to do that, Finn thought maybe he'd have more luck.

Poe pulled back, confused. Hadn't they just been..? But he recalibrated for talking. "Uh..." He fumbled for the answer that sounded less pathetic, and grinning playfully: "Because I didn't have you to snuggle!" he said, going back in for another kiss.

Finn decided that getting stubborn about this was unlikely to get him very far, and anyway, Poe was trying to be very charming, so he waited for him to pause for breath before he spoke again. "I believe you—I do, and I missed your snuggles too—but even without snuggling eventually your body should have forced you to sleep," he said with concern.

Poe frowned, as much rankled by Finn's concern ( _he was in charge of his own sleep, damn it_ ) as he was touched by it. "Sorry, I—I shouldn't have—" Okay, there was nothing more embarrassing than this. "I started worrying I wouldn't sleep. It was stupid. And I made the mistake of thinking of... _him_ , and then I didn't want to sleep. We had enough caffeine pills so I was fine, I promise. Finn, don't look at me like that, please."

Finn wasn't sure what his face was doing, but he immediately wiped the expression from his face, since it was bothering Poe. "I'm not—it’s okay, you don't need to apologize. I was just worried," Finn said, reaching hesitantly for one of Poe's hands, unsure if he was mad at him. "You know what you're doing better than I do, of course. But I can't help worrying," he admitted.

"No, stop that, come here," Poe said, crushing Finn into a hug. "I don't know what the kriff I'm doing half the time. Thanks for looking after me. I was stupid but I wasn't doing anything dangerous, and I'm okay." He cupped Finn's face to kiss him softly, chastely: more earnest than passionate. "Thank you, I mean it. If—if I didn't have you, I think I would have a hell of a lot more trouble sleeping, so," he gave him a soft grin and a shrug.

Finn relaxed into the hug, “Okay. Glad you’re not angry with me.” He smiled back at him and reached up to pet down a curl that was sticking straight up—and to card a hand through Poe's hair, because he was weak and couldn't resist when Poe was grinning softly at him like that. "I sleep better with you, too—last night's the first good night's sleep I've had in three days," he admitted.  "I feel like the doctor would have opinions about this," he added, wincing a little.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Poe said. "I thought you were—disappointed in me," he admitted, feeling stupid, and scooting closer, trying to press as much of their bodies together as he could. "Or that you'd be as ashamed of me as I am of me," he ground out, a bit bitterly. "I guess I'll tell her if I have to."

"Poe, short of you doing something really drastically terrible, I will never be disappointed in you," Finn reassured him, throwing an arm over Poe's shoulders to pull him closer and tangling their legs together. "You don't have to tell the doctor—that’s up to you. I'm not going to tell her anything about it unless she is so concerned she asks," he said, continuing to pet Poe's hair as he hugged him to his chest.

"I know, I know," Poe said, taking a deep breath as he leaned into Finn. "Don't worry about me, okay, Finn? Even when I do stupid things, they pay off. Like thinking I could take on Kylo Ren and getting my ass captured by the First Order, for example," he said, sitting back to grin at Finn, remembering the awful day they met with something like fondness. "If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it," he whispered, a line from some half-remembered song his mother used to sing.

“I was a little impressed, you know. First you try to shoot the guy, then you get smart with him," Finn said, shaking his head but smiling. "It was against the rules to laugh at him, of course, but...it was pretty funny." It was a miracle of sorts—or the Force, maybe it _did_ work this way—that out of that terrible day had come all this. "Definitely worth it," he agreed.

Poe beamed as he saw a smile reappear on Finn's face. "There's the smile I missed," he said, but instead of kissing Finn, he flopped playfully back into his lap, his head resting on Finn's thigh so he could look up at him. "So tell me what I missed. You've been reading? You practicing your Binary? Can Bee quiz you?" Without waiting for an answer, "Hey, Bee, come over and make sure Finn's been practicing."

BB-8 paused their updates and left their charging station, tweedling cheerfully at Finn. [Friend-Finn! Friend-Finn! Thank you for talking to Friend-Poe about his nightly recharging. He doesn't listen to me enough!]

"Not you, too, Bee," Poe moaned. This is not how he hoped this would go.

"Well, the good news is I caught my name, your name, and something about you not listening to BB-8," Finn told Poe, and looked down at the little droid. "What's um...what was right before the not listening part?" he asked, and BB-8 repeated the words more slowly, giving Finn time to work with the translation.

"Oh, I understand! More or less. You're welcome, buddy," he told BB-8, and held out a thumbs up, grinning when the droid gave him one in response. "Yeah, I've been reading, and Jess gave me some notes she took to help," he asked.

BB-8 continued to rock back and forth beside the bed, watching them and interested in entering their conversation again.

"Ahh, yeah, Jess. Highest score we'd seen in a long time. I keep telling the General we should make her notes into the new manuals, but she won't have it." Poe smiled, reaching down to press his fingertips against BB-8's sensory dish. "Hey, Bee, why don't you tell Finn one of the jokes Iolo taught us on the trip?"

BB-8 was so excited at this prospect that they whirred in a circle and began chirping way too fast for Finn to possibly catch. "Slower! He's still learning," Poe laughed, and BB-8 slowed down again:

[Friend-Finn! Why did Darth Vader cross the road?!]

"Why did...what?" Finn asked, not sure he had translated correctly, but BB-8 rocked encouragingly, so he assumed he must have. "Why did Darth Vader cross the road? I dunno, Bee, why?" he asked, grinning.

[To get to the _Dark_ Side!] BB-8 trilled, and Poe clapped a hand over his ear.

"Whoa, okay, man, I know you're excited, but volume!" he scolded, but BB-8 was ready with their next joke:

[An Ewok walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a whisky and.............soda.”

The bartender says, “Sure thing—but why the little pause?”

“I don't know,” says the Ewok. “I’ve had them all my life!”]

This one made Poe laugh: once BB-8 had figured out the joy of puns as they occurred in Basic, they felt as though they had made a discovery no other droid knew, and were smug as hell about it.

Finn laughed, having followed enough of that to find the jokes amusing, though he hadn't caught every word. "Look at you, Bee! I didn't know droids could have senses of humor!" he said, and then thought back to the thumbs up and the shocking him repeatedly just to be obnoxious. "On second thought..." he said, and reached down to tap BB-8 gently to get his attention. "Okay, I have one for you. What do you call a pirate droid?"

BB-8 was shocked. People didn't often tell _them_ jokes: BB-8 had to listen to the ones people told Poe. BB-8 therefore stuttered when they beeped softly: [What?] trying but failing to imagine what a pirate droid would look like.

Poe had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from dying of laughter or a cute overload (and he found himself wondering, not for the first time, if Finn liked kids since he was so good with BB-8).

Finn leaned over closer to BB-8, as if sharing a secret. " _ARGH_ -2-D2!" he said with a perfectly straight face that he very quickly lost as he dissolved into giggles.

BB-8 made the noise closest to laughter they could, which was a kind of hooting hiccup, and twirled around the room, knocking over a chair in their excitement, and Poe let out his own laughter, too. [That's a good one, Friend-Finn! I must share it with Friend-Captain Arana!]

Poe beamed up at Finn. "Did you ever know any kids? Like—children? Younglings?" He tried to imagine stormtroopers babysitting smaller stormtroopers, but that didn't go over well in his head. Imagining Finn as a father, sometime in the future, however, went over _very_ well, and he smiled absently.

Finn watched BB-8 twirl happily around the room for a moment before looking back at Poe, still grinning. "Nope. There were some troopers younger than me, but I never really talked to them," he answered, wondering how children compared to BB-8. They probably didn't just shut off every night... "Did you?  I mean—you must have, right? Cousins or something?"

"Yeah, my mom and dad's families live on Yavin, so, yeah, lots of cousins. Believe it or not, I was the ringleader as a kid, too, so when we'd go play out by the lake or whatever, I'd be in charge of looking after the small ones and getting the bigger ones into trouble." Poe smiled at those memories. "And, I mean, there's kids on base, in the school. Sometimes I go in and give a lecture on starships or piloting or something." He shrugged. "I like kids. BB-8 is kinda like a...eight-year-old who never grows up. _And_ has a supercomputer brain, I know, Bee, sorry," he added over the indignant bleeps. Poe sat up on one elbow to kiss Finn. "I just think you'd be good with kids, is all, and I think that's nice." No other reason...

"I could go with you sometime, if I won't be in the way. I can hold starship models or something!" Finn suggested, smiling. He scrunched down a little in the bed so he was closer to Poe's level, and rested his head on his shoulder for a moment, trying to envision a young Poe Dameron raising hell and watching out for younger relatives. "How similar is supervising pilots to supervising cousins?" he asked jokingly.

Poe laughed. "Oh, it's the same skill set," he said, trying to make himself look more inviting, though at this point their feet were on the pillows. "The exact same. And yeah, you could come with me, but you should also look into getting your own lecture slot. You could talk about the First Order or being a Stormtrooper, or proper blaster maintenance or something. I know they'd love you." Poe was tracing patterns on Finn's shoulder, trying _not_ to imagine the First Order attempting to beat goodness and individuality out of a young Finn. He coughed. "I'm so glad you're here with me, Finn."

"I don't want to terrify them..." Finn said, although he thought he would be happy to talk to them, if he could think of something to talk about. He looked over at Poe, who was tracing lazy designs on his shoulder, and rolled so he was facing him. "Me too," he said. But there was a bit of an unhappy look on Poe's face, and they couldn't have _that_. Not when he was supposed to be relaxing.  Finn shifted his weight a little, just enough to tip forward and give Poe a long, maybe slightly less-than-chaste kiss.

"Mmm," Poe hummed, and, "Mm!" he added, when Finn deepened the kiss. He laughed when they broke apart. "So...did you miss me? Think about what we did at all? Did you read _that_ chapter yet?"

Finn ducked, hiding briefly with his head pressed against Poe's chest so he could mumble, "Of course I did, and of course I did, and no I was reading manuals and I forgot sorry," he said. Then he raised his head and raised both eyebrows at Poe. "I could—read it now? If you want to take a nap or try to beat BB-8 at holochess or something..." he suggested.

Poe grinned, stretching back away from Finn and putting his hands behind his head. "Yeah. I want you to read it, I'll watch. You let me know if there's something you don't understand or something you want to try, yeah?" He laughed to himself. "I mean, it's all very technical, it's not _porn_ —sadly,” he laughed and shrugged. "Something may happen. I want to be ready for it."

Finn gave Poe a slightly bemused look and grabbed the datapad off the side table, flipping to the book and chapter Poe had told him to read. It was, of course, about sex—but not solely the...the biological mechanics of it. That, he already knew (or thought he knew). This had different details, and Poe was right, it was technical in language. Still, though... "Poe, what age group is this written for?" Finn asked after about the third weird phrase that seemed to mean something other than what it said.

Poe chuckled. "It's for...I don't know, teenagers? I keep it around because some of my pilots grew up in—well, places where they didn't teach any of this, just like you. And I don't want a pilot ending up pregnant if they don't want to be. And I frankly don't want people missing out, or being taken advantage of, or thinking girls can't have sex with girls or that if they have a crush on a Sulustan that something's wrong with them. So...sorry it's below your reading level.”

"So does everything just assume that if you've never had sex you're a teenager?" Finn asked, and snorted at the datapad. "An _immature_ teenager?" All he needed was information, not gaudy, cartoon-style imagery littering the pages in the most haphazard, distracting manner possible. It probably worked on easily distracted teenagers, but to him it felt more than a little patronizing.

"I—" Poe said, about to laugh before he caught the look on Finn's face, and he actually stopped to think about his answer. "No—wait, hang on," Poe said, looking down at the book as if it had suddenly betrayed him. He had thought it presented a fair, progressive stance on sex, but perhaps the rhetorical style was... _immature_. Poe didn't say anything for a few long moments as he flipped through the pages. "I—never thought of it like that." He licked his lips. "I mean, _I_ don't, Finn, of course I don't."

"I just mean—how do people even understand this stuff? I don't even know what this sentence is supposed to mean," Finn said, pointing to one of the sentences that was in the same language as the whole rest of the book, but which used that language in such a way that it quickly became incomprehensible.

"It's..." Poe skimmed through it, and then laughed. "Oh, Maker you're right. It's written in slang from, like, when _I_ was a kid. Oops." Poe felt suddenly, painfully old, and that made him feel gross, so he pushed it away. This book really _did_ give thorough coverage, though... Maybe there was an updated edition he could look for?

"Does everyone _else_ think I'm immature because I clearly don't know these things?" he asked hesitantly. It wasn't that he'd asked anyone the same questions he was comfortable asking Poe, but Jess especially had been on the receiving end of what, in retrospect, were probably pretty stupid questions for anyone over the age of twenty to be asking.

Finn's question startled him, and it wasn't about the book. Poe tossed the datapad down. "Finn, anyone who thinks that is a narrow-minded nerfherder whose opinion you don't need to worry about." He shifted so he was facing Finn head-on. "I would never think that about you, or anyone. I mean—wow—first of all, like, sex is hugely not important, in the scheme of things. I mean it _is_ , but not in the same way _you_ , as a person, Finn, you are important. Full stop. You are important to me, and I love you. I do not think you're immature because you don't know these things. You just had a different upbringing than I did." He sighed. "Look, you skipped these chapters for a reason, and—you don't have to finish them if you don't want to. Or I could find you another book, or I can— _I_ can do the explaining, if you like. Straightforward, no outdated jargon that makes me sound old, just a guy and his guy, talking about normal bodily functions." He grinned a little hopefully.

"No, it's okay, I can finish them." If he'd completely understand them was another matter entirely, but he guessed he could ask Poe, if it came to that. "That's probably easiest." He reached over for the datapad and pulled it back to him, hunching over it and continuing where he'd left off. It made no more sense than before, and he was aware that he was frowning as he tried to understand some of the more incomprehensible slang. After several paragraphs, he stopped and glanced up at Poe.

"Is it okay?" Poe asked, now basically watching him read, like a creep. "Seriously, I can get you another book. I just...thought that one's a good one, you know? Here, just skip to the section on male-male intercourse—I mean, that's the most... _immediately_ of interest." Poe suspected Finn didn't actually understand all the mechanics there, but he wasn't going to insist. "And there aren't many sex-ed books take time to explain what an anal orgasm is..." He meant it honestly, though he couldn't help but wink when Finn looked up at him, because he had no capacity to be serious, apparently, even when the moment called for it.

"A _what_?" Finn asked, looking back down at the datapad and flipping to the indicated section. "...But—how?" he added, and quietly read enough to verify that Poe had meant exactly what he'd said. "That—doesn’t it—" he stammered, and then stopped talking to frown. But Poe was still just sitting there, watching him as patiently as if they were discussing how to cross the road. "Doesn't it hurt?" he asked hesitantly.

Poe had kind of expected this question, but not enough to keep the slightly sad look from his eyes. “No,” he said, suddenly very able and willing to be serious about this. He took Finn’s hand. "Well—it _shouldn't_ hurt. It can hurt if you're not careful,” _or if you like it that way_ , he didn’t add, “but we will only ever be very careful, got it? I promise, whenever, if ever, we get to that, I promise I won't ever hurt you. And you won’t hurt me." He hummed, nosing in for a kiss. "Go on, the book tells you the mechanics of it. I do like you asking me questions, though—just like this. I want you to be fully informed before we even get to enthusiastic consent."

"I _did_ read about that," Finn said, flashing a brief smile. "About consent, I mean. That's why you had me read the books, right?" he asked, snuggling a little into Poe's arms as he went back to the datapad.

"Clearly, because you are nothing but enthusiastic," Poe said, settling comfortably and reading over Finn's shoulder. He stopped him at the section on Oral Sex. "You want to do that? Or, rather, would you let me do that—for you? My mouth is even better than my hands are, if I'm allowed to brag," he said, now presenting a caricature of himself so his teasing wasn't directed at Finn. "All you have to do is ask."

Finn thought about it, while he read and paid partial attention to the words on the screen. This was something he recognized, although they'd certainly never called it oral sex in the First Order, and it certainly hadn't been in the context of enjoyment for both parties involved. Here, though, the intent was clearly different. And this was _Poe_. "Um. I am quite fond of your mouth," he said, answering neither an assured yes or a definite no for the moment, and turned his head to kiss Poe and better prove his point.

Poe's kiss was full of teeth from all the smiling. "And I'm fond of yours," he said, and let Finn get back to his reading, eventually. "Any other questions?" he asked, as Finn finished the chapter without further interruptions.

"Maybe—um, one thing, for now. It—was talking about oil? But as lubricant? I don't understand," Finn said, becoming a little frustrated with himself, through absolutely no fault of Poe's. Finn had less patience with his limited knowledge than Poe ever did.

"Yeah!" Poe said excitedly, feeling his own cheeks flush with something between embarrassment and excitement. "Yeah, just something to make—us—everything—slippery and smooth and feel good, you know? And, right, okay, it's absolutely crucial in the act of penetration. Even heterosexual couples use it, often. You can think about it like a slugthrower: it fits very tightly together and the slide and firing pin won't go in unless it's well-oiled. Just like that. As for lube itself, I've got plenty here, but if we go and get amorous somewhere away from the bedroom—well, we just need to plan ahead."

"Oh, I see," Finn said, even if it still sounded a little...odd. But in the context of weapons, it make more sense. "I'm out of questions. For now, I mean," he said, because he was sure he'd come up with some more later, regardless of any amount of reading.

"Good, then c'mere, I want to go back to sleep and dream of covering your entire body in perfumed oil," Poe said, gathering Finn into his arms.

BB-8 buzzed. [Friend-Poe! You have your meeting with Dr. Kalonia in—]

"What? Oh, man, I thought I'd missed that already. Shit." Poe rubbed his face. "I'm too tired. She can't see me like this! Can we reschedule?"

BB-8 rocked in agitation, and Poe sighed. "When is it?"

[1300. In two hours and thirteen minutes.]

"Oh. So I can sleep for a bit?"

[Affirmative!]

"Hmmmm," Finn said, smiling as he snuggled against Poe, curling up so he could tuck his head under Poe's chin. "You're warm," he said happily, "I like you a lot." He pressed several kisses to Poe's chest, grinning.

"I like you more," Poe said, and blushed down to his chest, holding Finn close as he enjoyed a two-hour nap and, eventually, a hasty ‘fresher and an even hastier (if cold) meal. He had to jog to get to his meeting with Dr. Kalonia, BB-8 at his heels threatening to shock him, though he slowed down to a saunter through the door.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe tries to run away from his problems, and Finn runs after him. (It sounds metaphorical. It is not.)

While Poe went to talk to Dr. Kalonia, Finn went to train with his recruits. Torch immediately sidled up to him and stood there grinning, and Finn looked over at him. "Need something?" he asked, and Torch took a boloball out from behind his back and tossed it one-handed up and down.  "So I thought we could train AND practice at the same time," he said, and Finn watched him out of the corner of his eye for a moment.  "Yeah alright," he said, and they spent the rest of the training session "practicing".  Mostly it turned into tackling and a lot of shouting and, eventually, a kind of free-for-all wrestling match that Finn decided classified as sparring.

…

Poe was lucky to have gotten out of that meeting without being grounded—which honestly just made him feel worse, because maybe he _should_ be grounded, but he also knew, objectively, _that_ would only make him worse and even Dr. Kalonia agreed that at his worst he was still their best pilot and best leader.

Which made him, frankly, worried for the Resistance.

He told her about the not-sleeping thing, but due to his own reticence to talk about it and her inability to read minds, by the time they concluded, his best guess as to why he couldn't sleep without Finn there was that he _liked_ acting like a jackass to himself and was totally dependent and obsessive and narcissistic. See, who the hell needs therapy?

Even Dr. Kalonia's attempt to steer the conversation to Finn didn't help, because she went to all the trouble of explaining to him the process of PTSD flashbacks and how the victim needed someone or something to "ground" them during an episode—something that was entirely separate from the source of trauma. When she reminded Poe, albeit gently, that he and Finn had technically met before Finn had left the First Order, so Poe might not provide a sufficiently disconnected stimuli and might be safer if he didn't try to interfere if Finn had another episode—

Poe walked out.

It was not one of his better moments, but it was better than flipping her desk over, which was what he wanted to do. He tried going to the hangar, but Black One was being worked on and he didn't want to talk to anyone right now and there was no way he had the presence of mind to fly right now, so he wandered to the gym, where he could gather his calm watching Finn with the younger recruits playing boloball of all things instead of...

Okay, he needed to go hit a bag, or go for a run, or something. Even BB-8, when they rolled silently up behind him, didn't dare say anything.

Finn noticed when Poe showed up at training, but he was in the middle of trying to keep the boloball practice from getting too out-of-control. By the time he turned around to say hi and see how things had gone with the doctor, Poe was walking away. "Hey, Reist, take over," Finn told the soldier, and they waved at him.

Finn turned to run after Poe, wondering what was wrong.

Poe didn't turn around, heading out a side door to the running path. "I'm going for a run," he said, managing to sound nonchalant. "I'll be back when you're done, okay?"

"It's okay, Reist is taking over—” Finn said, because something seemed wrong, “they’ll make sure no one gets a broken face. I could run with you.  Can I run with you?" he asked. And then, because he couldn't help it, "What's—is something wrong?" he asked a little hesitantly.

"I just—need to go—for a run," Poe said, already taking off. He wasn't going to tell Finn _not_ to come with him, but, "I need to go fast. You don't have to come." In a dead sprint, Poe had a slight advantage over the distance-trained-former-stormtrooper, and he almost thought he had lost Finn at one point, but when he slowed down, Finn was keeping pace, about three steps behind him.

Poe was setting a ridiculous pace for a long run, and Finn had already run around a fair amount during practice, but he kept up, more or less. He lost Poe for a little while when he sped up all of a sudden, but he must have slowed down, because several minutes later he caught up and managed to stay with him.

Growing even more frustrated, however irrationally, that he couldn't even do one simple thing like outrun an ex-stormtrooper in a footrace when he knew the terrain better and Finn wasn't much of a sprinter, Poe kept up his speed longer than he really should have, pushing himself, like usual.

But Finn was always there. He didn't take the hint (poor guy, maybe he didn't _get_ that this was a hint), and to his credit, he didn't slow down and didn't stop. It was actually kind of funny, or would have been, if he weren't so mad—and that reminder—he was _angry_ —helped Poe push himself even further, desperate, like he would outrun Kylo Ren and Dr. Kalonia and his own crushing inadequacy and everything the First Order did to Finn and the need to sleep ever again.

Just when he felt his lungs about to explode, Poe put on yet another burst of speed from somewhere, far outstripping his running partner, and ran until he reached a secluded clearing to catch his breath, where he all but collapsed against a tree and gulped in air like he had never tasted it.

He had barely managed a few breaths, wheezing a little dangerously, when, lo and behold, Finn jogged up, nearly as fast but not looking anywhere near as exhausted as Poe felt.

And Poe laughed.

"Stars _above_ , Finn!" he said, dropping his hands to his knees.

Finn stopped next to Poe, who was at least laughing now and didn't seem upset anymore. He patted him on the back and waited until he'd caught his breath a little before responding. "'F we don't walk we're both going to hate our lives in an hour," he said. He was better at distance running than Poe, but even then...that had been an unusually _fast_ distance run, for him. "That was impressive," he told Poe. "Better now?" he asked, since it looked like Poe had gotten something out of his system.

When Poe was sure he could do so without fainting he straightened up and crushed Finn into a close embrace. "Better _now_ ," he rasped, squeezing his eyes shut and hanging on Finn's neck like his life depended on it. He could feel Finn's heart pounding through his chest, and his breath was harsh in his ear, and, stars, they were both soaked with sweat, but he didn't care. He couldn't say anything more, but he couldn't let him go, either.

"Okay, good," Finn said, holding Poe tightly and rubbing his back. Poe was still breathing hard, his chest rising and falling against Finn's, and he hugged him a little more gently so he could actually breathe. He was still close enough, though, that Finn could feel his heartbeat where their chests pressed together. "You're alright," he reassured him, although he wasn't sure what had been wrong in the first place.

"I don't know about that," Poe said, but he said it with a huff of laughter, and kissing Finn's neck, he pulled away. "Let's—can we keep going, please? At, like, a more reasonable pace. You set it."

Finn nodded, taking one of Poe’s hands and setting off at a walk—not a slow one, but certainly not the blistering pace Poe had set originally. After about five minutes, he slowed down to a more  reasonable walk, looking around and content to remain mostly quiet. "That tree looks like it's confused and concerned," he said, nodding to a tree that was bent over at the top and had branches that did, indeed, look vaguely like concerned eyebrows.

Poe smiled, near tears for some stupid reason, and he laughed, rubbing a hand across his face. Finn—and Rey, too, the both of them—while worryingly capable and powerful, could be and often were shockingly childlike. It was probably Poe's favorite thing about both of them. "It does," he agreed. He tried a few times to speak as they passed it, but felt like he wanted to run (away) instead, even though his legs and lungs were still screaming at him. He almost took off a few times (just a gentle jog, _please_ ), but he told Finn he could set the pace and he forced himself to make good on that. Still, it might have looked stupid, limbs twitching and mouth flapping until finally "I had a bad meeting," he finally blurted out, face settling into a resigned glower.

Finn looked over at Poe as he finally managed to say what was bothering him, taking in the glare and the tense set of Poe's shoulders. He caught himself going tense in response and took a deep breath and let it out softly. "Want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

"Not _really_ ," Poe said, annoyed at himself. "But I'm just going to be pissed off until I do—but—only if—look, Finn, you shouldn't have to—I mean— _it’s not your job to fix me_.” That came out harsher than intended, and Poe panicked. “Look, can we maybe jog a little?"

"Yeah, of course. You pick the speed and I'll let you know if we're going too fast," Finn said, staying next to Poe instead of dropping back to run near his heels as he'd done earlier. "I know it’s not my _job_ , but I wouldn't have asked if I minded," he reassured him.

"I know, I know," Poe said, having to consciously pull himself back a few times to match Finn's stride. "We've only been together for like—a few months—and already I don't know what I'd do without you," Poe said, trying to puzzle this out. "It's not—I don't _normally_ fall for—I mean, I've never. What I'm saying it you're different. For me. I’ve never loved anyone like—and I don't know what to do and it's not your fault and—" he had to pause for breath here, forgetting to pace his talking, too. "I mean, force, Finn, I am literally incapable of _sleeping_ without you! I don't know what's wrong with me, and it's not Dr. K's fault she can't help me, either." He paused here only enough to grind his teeth.

"It's not your fault, either," Finn ventured, not sure what to say that might help, rather than just make Poe feel worse. "It might take longer than a few months to figure out," he added, "Or however long it's been since I met you."

"Oh, it's totally my fault," Poe corrected. "Or Kylo Ren's fault, but that's—hardly the point. I don't know—maybe I'm worried about you all the time, or worried about myself. Worried about myself around other people, maybe. Like, I can't let Iolo or Jess know I get these nightmares, right? I don't know why I don't have that problem with you. And—that’s not fair to _you_ , I can’t unload all this crap on you!"

"Why can't Jess or Iolo know? Didn't you say you've seen this happen to other pilots, ones you've trained? And how is it not fair to me? Of the two of us, only one wakes up swinging from his nightmares, and it's not you," Finn said, looking over at Poe as they jogged. He wanted to stop and hug him, hold him until he could convince him that everything _would_ be alright. Or at least until he was less upset. But he seemed to need the jogging, so Finn did the next best thing—he reached over and took his hand, only for a moment, and squeezed it tight before he let go so they could keep running.

"I can take it," Poe said simply, squeezing Finn's hand gratefully. "And, well, they're my pilots, they can't see me—they can't know I—" Poe stopped, suddenly, dropping his hands to his knees again. "Finn, they already know Kylo Ren broke me, I can't let them know he's _still_ breaking me." He straightened. "And—this isn’t some macho, alpha male bullshit,” he declared, one hand going to his hip while he jabbed a finger at the ground like he did when he was giving a serious speech. “My masculinity isn’t what’s at stake here. This is an issue of _morale_. They have to think I'm fine. I have to _be_ fine. They have to trust me. I know most of them—Snap, Karé, Iolo, Jess—I know they probably still would trust me. But they'd worry. That split-second of concern would get them shot down. And it would be on my head, and—and those tattoos _hurt_. So I have to be fine," he said, a little helplessly.

"Poe, you're not _broken_ ," Finn said, stopping next to Poe and putting an arm over his back. "Ok.  I understand that you have to be fine. But not around me, okay? Let me—I don't know, help, or at least... We can lean on each other, huh?" he asked.

Poe nodded, grasping Finn's wrist a little desperately. "I'm trapping you, because you’re kind and you want to help," he stated, and then shook his head, and went in for another hug. "I do know I can lean on you," he said, quietly, and smiled against Finn's neck. "Maybe too much. I love you, buddy. And you can always lean on me, too. You know that, right?" He pulled back, cupping Finn's face, needing to feel like the caregiver even if he was the jackass whose eyes were misty.

Finn met Poe's eyes very seriously, and then nodded. "Poe. We both know trapped, and this is _not_ trapped.  I love you. You will _always_ be the first person I lean on." He leaned forward enough to rest his forehead against Poe's, still trying to look him in the eyes, but going a little cross-eyed.  "We'll help each other—even if it takes running halfway across the planet to do it." He smiled a little crookedly and then kissed Poe softly, carding his fingers through the hair at his neck.

"I—" Poe floundered, looking around them, and grinned sheepishly. "We didn't go halfway across the _whole_ planet," he muttered petulantly, but he couldn't stop smiling, though he gave a soft whimper at the kiss and where Finn's naughty hands were. "Th-thanks," he stuttered, and let out a breath that he felt like he had been holding since he first left. "Thanks for coming after me." Finn hadn't yet let his hand drop, and even though Poe knew his hair was sweaty, Finn didn't seem to care. "We should—" he looked around, taking Finn's hand. "Come with me," Poe said, taking Finn's hand and leading him to a clearing and a small hill where they were out of the trees and could watch the sun set. "Ever sat and watched a sunset with someone you love?" he asked, pulling Finn close.

Finn inched over until he was leaning against Poe's shoulder and then sighed happily. "It’s beautiful out here," he said as the sun dipped lower and the sky started turning colors. "And the sunset is nice, too," he added with a grin.

Poe quirked an eyebrow at Finn, and laughed. "Well we don't have to watch it," he suggested with a grin, pushing Finn to sit down on a log and following on top of him, straddling his hips.

"But I _like_ the sunset," Finn said, though he was grinning crookedly at Poe as he said it. He rested his hands on Poe's hips and leaned up to kiss along the line of his jaw.

"Okay, then I'll sit down here," Poe said, sliding off Finn's lap and resting between his legs. He tried to pull off sultry, but was a bit shaky from his run. He kissed Finn once more and then turned around, leaning back against him as they watched the sky turn five different colors when the sun dipped below the misty horizon.

After the sun had truly gone down, the occasional star started appearing, and Finn nudged Poe forward so he could move to the ground. After they'd resettled, with Poe still sitting between Finn's legs and his back against Finn's chest, Finn tipped his head back to look up at the stars in the darker part of the dusky sky. "It's so quiet out here," he said thoughtfully.

"Ah, yes," Poe mused. "My complete mental breakdown was merely a devious ploy to get you out here alone." He chuckled and rubbed Finn's knee. "Thank you, I mean it." He leaned back. "Did you get to see the stars much as a trooper?"

"Sort of. There were windows on the _Finalizer_. I wasn't ever really outside at night when I was planetside, or didn't have time to be stargazing if I was," Finn answered. He knew about stars, of course, their colors and how they were born and how they died. But he'd never learned names or constellations or how to navigate by them.

Finn was warm, and Poe settled back, pulling Finn's knees up on either side of him until he was cocooned comfortably. "Well, you can see some great constellations from D'Qar, though it's not the clearest sky. I'll take you up in Black One and we'll really get an eyeful. But you can see the warrior, with their belt. That one's far enough out and bright enough, you can see it from most planets in nearby systems." He pointed, and then looked around. "Oh, and the blaster is a fun one, right—" he pressed back into Finn and craned his neck over their right shoulders. "Right over the treeline. I mean, okay, I call it a blaster, Karé thinks it looks like a dick." He laughed.

Finn turned to look over his right shoulder, searching for the indicated constellation. When he finally found it, he hummed thoughtfully. "I think it could be either," he finally said. "Who invented all of them?"

Poe shrugged. "Different people on different planets." He grinned. "Pilots, mostly. Those of us who can't stop looking up." Poe was running his hands over Finn's legs, sometimes scratching and sometimes rubbing out muscles, but he couldn't stop touching. "You should make one up and teach it to me. That's all they are, is made up. The Sith and the Jedi saw different constellations—they connected the dots in different ways."

"Hmmm, okay," Finn said, looking around for some pattern of stars that looked like something.  But Poe was scratching gently at his legs, which was more than a little distracting. He rested his chin on Poe's shoulder. "I found one," he said in his ear.

Poe thrilled slightly at Finn's breath hot against his neck, and he grinned. "Yeah? Where is it?" He wrapped his arms around Finn's legs, and Finn hooked his arms under his and pulled him in close, and Poe _wished_ he had planned this—even sweaty and tired and a bit hungry and far from base, this was perfect.

Finn pointed out a little to the left, at a group of stars that connected to form a circle. Another one could, if creatively interpreted, be connected to the circle by an arc. "Right there, see?" Finn followed the five bright stars that formed the circle with his finger, and then drew the arc passing through the bright star above the five. "It looks like Bee," he said shyly.

Though he missed Finn's arm around him: "Oh, hey it does!" Poe cried, laughing and kicking his feet. "Force, Finn, Bee will hate me for not coming up with that one first. You should totally tell them." He turned and kissed Finn's cheek. "Do you know that one of the most attractive things about you is how sweet you are to my little droid?"

It was hard to imagine anyone _not_ being kind to BB-8. "Is that— _unusual_?" he asked, offended on Poe and BB-8's behalf that anyone wouldn't like them.

"Well—yeah. Treating them like a _person_." He blushed. "Not everyone does that. In my experience, certainly no one from the First Order does that. You just—impress me at every—no, not impress. You blow my mind, Finn. I catch myself thinking, hey, he's just so _nice_ , I'm a lucky guy, and I remember what you came from and—like—I can't help but wonder _how_. How the First Order didn’t seem to get to you at all. Explain that to me. Or don't. It'll ruin your mystique."

Finn smiled, blushing, and shrugged one shoulder. "Um...I don't know. I guess...making up for lost time? Atoning for everything I did as a stormtrooper? I actually genuinely like all of you and I'm finally allowed to act like it?" he asked. He shrugged again and hugged Poe around the shoulders.  "Mostly that last one. Kind of the second one, too."

"Don't say that." Poe turned around. "You can't atone for things that weren't your fault." He smiled suddenly. "I like the last one, though," he said, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips.

It _was_ a little bit his fault, as far as Finn was concerned, but he was willing to drop it—Poe had already had a bad day, and he didn't need to deal with that particular issue of Finn's on top of it. Instead, he melted a little into the kiss, grinning as he did so. "Mmmm, I do too," he said.

"I love you too," Finn said softly, and after one last peck, stood, making a face as his sore muscles made themselves known. "It's probably good we have to walk back. Maybe keep us from hurting tomorrow morning," he said hopefully, though there was little likelihood that neither of them would hurt at all.

"And a hot refresher?" Poe said hopefully, the only reason he got to his feet successfully being because he was chasing a kiss. "I—I’ll see if Dr. K's still awake," he said, like a guilty child. "To apologize."

"Yes. A very hot refresher," Finn agreed, and put an arm around Poe's shoulder, kissing him on the cheek as they started walking. "You're a good man, Poe Dameron."

"Well, you're the best, then," Poe said, turning into the kiss and squishing their noses together. "Okay, sorry. We can't kiss and walk at the same time. Sorry." He grinned and put an arm around Finn's waist, tracking their way through the dark. It took them almost an hour to get back to base, with how far they had run, and with more constellations coming out that they stopped to look at. Sending Finn on ahead, Poe made a slight detour to Dr. Kalonia's quarters, knocking gently and politely on the door. He was about to leave when she appeared at the door.

"Commander Dameron." Her face was unreadable, which was good.

He straightened. "I came to apologize for my behavior during and after our meeting today. I was wondering if you would be willing to...reschedule. At your earliest convenience." He was speaking to a point just above her head, as to a superior officer.

She smiled. "At ease, Poe. Tomorrow at nine, please."

Poe returned the smile, and let out a relieved breath. " _Thank you_."

Since he had beat Poe back to the room, just barely, Finn hurriedly turned down the bed so it would be inviting after they got out of the refresher, and then he went in the bathroom and turned the water on. It heated quickly, and the bathroom grew warm as all the mirrors fogged up with condensation. He wished he had candles, because it had been so nice when Poe had lit them when he'd fixed them dinner. Instead, he turned the dimmer switch down in both the bedroom and the washroom. It would have to do.

Poe blinked as the door slid aside and let him in. BB-8 hooted in concern, but Poe eventually stepped through, touching their sensor pad gently. The bed was turned down, the refresher was running, the lights dimmed. These little touches stood out like huge demonstrations because Finn was still a former stormtrooper, so every little piece of humanity and kindness and love meant _everything_. Poe hoped he never took this for granted. He stripped at the door before it had even shut, leaving his clothes in a pile. "Finn?" he said. Oh, he was _so_ ready for this.

"Poe?" Finn asked, wandering half-clothed into the bedroom. He'd been partially through stripping his clothes off when he'd heard the door open. He stopped when he saw that Poe had already beaten him to being undressed and grinned. "The washroom is warm," he said, nodding back over his shoulder as he pulled off his socks, hopping one-footed. His trousers followed, and he left them outside the washroom door.

Poe made a beeline for Finn's arms, just holding him, steadying Finn as he removed his socks and then pulling him under the spray with him. "This," he sighed, resting his cheek against Finn's chest, arms around his middle. " _This_." After a few moments melting under the spray: "What can I possibly give you that comes close to what you've given me?" he asked, mostly to himself.

“Poe, you gave me a name and treated me like a person when you didn't know anything about me other than I was a stormtrooper escaping the First Order. You trusted me, and you had no reason to, and you _still_ trust me," Finn said softly, resting his chin on the top of Poe's head. "What you give me can't be measured," he added, hugging Poe to him, arms tight around his back as if convincing both of them that if the whole _world_ for some reason wanted to go after Poe Dameron, it'd have to go through Finn first. He lowered his voice and, barely above a whisper, "You make me feel real— _human_."

Poe was stunned, and a lump formed in his throat: of course it was all true, but he had trouble thinking of it from that point of view. "Oh, Finn," he said, matching the strength of his embrace, and pressing kisses along Finn's shoulder and neck. Someday Finn was going to learn that that was just...basic human decency and Poe wasn't really that special, but until then, Poe would take it. He chuckled, suddenly, lifting his head: "You didn't see how scared you looked when you took off that helmet. How could I not know there was a human in there?" He considered. "To be fair, I couldn't see how scared _I_ probably looked, either." He surged forward, erasing the memory of fear with a kiss.

"You looked a little scared ‘til you realized I was trying to lie about why I was rescuing you," Finn said after they'd kissed for several moments. "Then you looked like—you," he said, smiling at the memory, and how Poe had gone from looking terrified to that cocky I-can-fly-anything in a matter of milliseconds. "Were you scared when we were escaping? Because I was terrified."

Poe shrugged. "A bit of healthy fear, maybe. Fear is good for the reflexes, you know. Woke me up a bit. And you performed cool under fire so you can't have been that scared." Poe kissed his jaw. "And I didn't think you were lying, exactly. I think you knew it was the right thing to do no matter who I was, but you knew we actually had a shot because Ren let it slip that you had the best pilot in the Resistance on board." He winked. "You went back for Rey because it was the right thing to do, and she's not even sleeping with you, so..." He grinned smugly at that.

"I was slightly more scared of being shot down than of anything else," Finn answered. "And, for the record, being shot down was about as much fun as I imagined it would be." It'd been worse when he realized he was alone and had thought Poe was dead, even if he hadn't been in love with him at the time. He shook his head to clear that sensation and looked at Poe, intentionally letting himself get lost in reminding himself of every little detail in his face, from his brown eyes to the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes because he laughed so often. He kissed those wrinkles, and then the perplexed smile Poe was currently giving him, probably wondering why he was staring.

"I'm not gonna disappear, you know," Poe whispered, his smirk turning soft at Finn's earnest face. "Unluckily for you, you're stuck with me." He held Finn's cheek in his palm and about died when Finn nuzzled into the touch.

"That was my secret plan all along," Finn said, laughing, and twisted to turn the water a little warmer. He sighed softly as it ran down his back, and turned so he could pull Poe under the spray with him. "The water is going to get cold if we don't get moving," he said.

Poe whined, but nodded, and they scrubbed each other clean. In spite of the heat of the water, Poe got goosebumps all down his arms when Finn washed his hair, and they tumbled into bed after barely drying off, and definitely not bothering putting any clothes on.

Finn snuggled close to Poe's chest and tangled their legs together, then sighed contentedly.  "You're warm," he told him, pressing sleepy kisses to Poe's collarbone and the hollow of his throat.

"Mmm," Poe couldn't help but moan, tilting his head back and sliding one arm under Finn's head, so he could tuck him under his chin. They wrestled with their legs until Poe's leg rested heavy on Finn's thighs, foot hooking around Finn's ankles. "So're you," he whispered. "Bee, can you make sure I'm up by 0800 tomorrow?"

BB-8 trilled an affirmative.

"Love you, Finn. Thank you for...always saving me," he huffed, a little sheepishly.

"Any time," Finn answered, "I love you too." He shifted one last time just the tiniest bit, and smiled sleepily as he rested his forehead against Poe's chest.

...

They both woke up sore as hell the next day, which even a hot refresher only barely helped, but Poe made his meeting with Dr. Kalonia and, whether because he felt guilty or had figured himself out already, or because he physically couldn't run away this time, they had a good session. Finn went to train recruits and Poe went to fill out paperwork and check on _Black One_ , but he was still finished before Finn, who was, he suspected, sneakily getting in boloball practice…


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn smiled at the indignant little chirping tone that BB-8 had just taken with Poe, and nodded when the droid turned around to look at him. "Yes, of course. Go ahead, Bee," he said, leaning forward in the chair so BB-8 would know he was paying attention. "You were telling the other droids a story, right?" he prompted.
> 
> [Yes] BB-8 said, settling on 'the other droids' because Finn probably hadn't met them all, and anyway it was embarrassing for BB-8 to admit how popular they were.

"Hey buuuuddy," Poe said, when Finn caught him in a semi-compromising position, ass-up and grunting as he bent over to drag the potted plant out of their quarters. Until Finn showed up he had no actual plan how he was going to get this damn thing out of the room, much less outside to the garden area, where droids and some of the cooks and biotechs worked together to grow as much to supplement their food supplies as they could—and probably engage in scientific research on all these backwater planets, Poe supposed. He was so sore from their run a few days ago he could barely straighten up. "Philodendron has got way too kriffing big, I'm trying to get it outside. You wouldn't know any strapping young sergeant who would help me out for a kiss, would you?" He winked and wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Hmmmm, I might," Finn said, laughing, as he leaned around the philodendron to set his things down and help. "You pull, I'll push? Are you just leaving this thing out there, or are we trimming it and bringing it back inside?" he asked. He bent to push the pot and got a face full of leaves, which made him sputter in surprise. "Your plant just assaulted me," he told Poe, batting the leaves out of his face.

"What can I say, it's got good taste," Poe laughed, and used some cable ties to organize the branches. "Okay. We could probably both lift it together," he suggested. "I was planning on seeing if they wanted to plant it—gotta get it approved, make sure it won't invade the whole planet or something. But if we get it out there, I don't want to drag it back! Here, grab hold, on the count of three we lift."

"It may have good taste, but it doesn't taste good!" Finn responded, because he _enjoyed_ horrible, ridiculous puns, thank you very much. He lifted with Poe on the count of three, and they managed to get the plant off the ground and in a position that they could carry. "It's too bad this is so huge.  Rey loves this one," he said as they carried it very carefully down the hall.

"Well, we'll take a cutting for our room," Poe gasped as they shuffled awkwardly toward the gardens. "Start with a small one. Hopefully they'll just plant this somewhere, but I don't know." They arrived, with much huffing and puffing and grunting, to the gardens, where Dr. Tiac was inspecting the plants. "Heya, Doc. Any chance you could find a home for this little guy?" Poe said, setting it down heavily. "And have you met Finn?" he panted slightly.

"I don't believe I've had the pleasure," the older man with a graying beard replied. "Nice to meet you. It’s not often we get soldiers in the gardens. Or pilots, for that matter." The man inspected the plant. "Outgrew your quarters, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah. Can it be planted out here?" Poe asked.

While Poe talked to the...plant doctor?...Finn looked around in amazement. There were plants being grown for food here, in straight, neat little rows that appealed to the part of him that still loved for things to be clean and organized. But there were other plants too, similar to Poe's but not quite. And there were flowering plants, and trees, and they weren't like the ones out in the forest.  Rey would have thought she was dreaming—Finn was sure of it. After gaping around like a person who'd never really seen so many different plants and so many flowers in one place before, he managed to find his voice. "Can _anyone_ come here? Just to look at the plants? Poe, Rey would _love_ this!" he blurted out, and then realized his voice had been rather loud for two people standing less than a foot away. He smiled sheepishly.

Poe smiled fondly at Finn and almost laughed, clapping him on the shoulder but sliding his hand up to touch his neck. "Yeah, buddy. Any time. I'm sure Dr. T would put you to work if you offered." He looked around. "Rey _would_ like it here. We could show her the flowers and stuff."

Dr. Tiac smiled. "You can plant your philodendron over here," he offered, getting a droid to carry the heavy pot. "If you don't mind doing it yourself. He's right, young man. I could easily put you to work, and I will—" he said, giving them each a spade as they came to the edge of the covered part of the garden to an empty patch. "We haven't done anything here yet, so you could transplant the little guy here," he motioned. "The drip system will keep it well watered, and it will get much more natural light than it gets in your quarters."

Finn considered the potted plant and then the soil. "So we just...dig a hole...and put the plant in it, right?" he asked, figuring that was easy enough. He had another idea, too. "Could we plant other plants here, too? Just... right here, if there's room?"

Poe laughed, surprised but pleased by Finn's enthusiasm, and kicking himself that he didn't think of this before: of _course_ the kid had probably never dug in the dirt before just for fun, and who didn't love that? Well, Poe actually didn’t. He wasn’t fond of dealing with dirt as a rule (except in manageable, potted increments), but he wasn’t normal. "Yeah," he said, crouching to cut out a shape the size of the pot. "Yeah, we clear this out, and put the plant in." He considered Finn's second request. "What would you like to plant?" he wondered, glancing up at Dr. Tiac, who nodded.

"I thought maybe we could plant something for Rey, for when she gets back," Finn said a little shyly. "Things with flowers? Or things we can eat, and if there's extra I'm sure the mess hall will use it. Right?" he asked Dr. Tiac. "Maybe we can plant chiles!"

Poe brightened impossibly more. "You had me at chiles," he said. "And I would love to plant things for Rey. We can try a few kinds of flowers, see what she likes. I wonder if she has a favorite color." He paused, watching Finn dig with far too much vigor, flinging soil everywhere. "Do _you_ have a favorite color?"

Finn paused thoughtfully, and then shook his head. "I'm not sure what her favorite color is. That's why I thought maybe flowers," he said, continuing to dig. This had seemed much easier before they'd actually started digging. But Poe didn't appear to be having any trouble, so he kept quiet and dug a few more trowels, trying to think of a favorite color. "Mmmmm, orange?" he asked, playing with his bracelet.

Poe nodded thoughtfully, imagining showering Finn with gifts of random orange things, and then quirked an eyebrow. He was going to let it go, then: "For me or BB-8?" he said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, though even if he said neither, Poe was flattered. "We could plant some...I think they call 'em goldfish plants? We could ask Dr. T for some seeds."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Finn answered, trying to be coy. He looked over at Poe and then gave up, grinning widely. "But if I did, I think I would say both. What's your favorite color?" Finn asked, realizing that if he knew, he could probably surprise Poe with...something that color. Maybe he could make a cake. Or maybe Jess would help him figure out something, because she was great, even though she'd probably give him a hard time about it for at least a week before she'd actually be helpful—that was something he could consider later. For now: "Wait, a goldfish plant? What's a goldfish plant?" he asked.

Poe didn't really have a favorite color, so he shrugged. He liked the black of his helmet and his X-Wing and space (and Finn's hair), but he also liked seeing Finn in his favorite blue shirt, and he also liked the green of the jungles on Yavin IV. Heck, he liked it when the sky turned hot pink in a sunset. "Oh, a goldfish plant? It's a...plant? The flowers are orange, or gold, and they look like little fish. It's kinda cute. I'll show you a picture." He smiled, tossing some dirt at Finn's knees since Finn had just sent a clod almost past his head.

Finn was beginning to think that he might actually have more luck if he gave up the trowel entirely and dug with his hands. He decided this was definitely true when Poe got dirt on his knee. He grinned mischievously and took a handful of dirt out of the hole, which he then set very intentionally on Poe's foot.

"Oh my gods, Finn," Poe laughed, kicking his foot before dirt got in his shoe. "Are you gonna clown around or dig? Here, try it like this," he said, helping Finn hold the trowel again and closing his fingers around Finn's. He slid over behind him, guiding his motions. "It's slower, but getting a scoop and actually putting it in piles is probably the most efficient way to do this. Honestly, Dr. T is trolling us, I think we need bigger shovels, but..." He kissed Finn's cheek before pulling back.

"Maybe they're all being used. Anyway, this is more fun," Finn said, digging out another few spadefuls of dirt and setting them aside before taking another handful and putting it on Poe's knee.  He looked over at the plant and squinted, trying to judge if the hole was deep enough yet.

"Gross, you’re getting me dirty,” Poe complained, laughing, and motioned for Finn to keep digging. “A bit deeper, bud," Poe said, heaving himself to his feet with a groan (he was still sore from that _stupid_ run days ago). "I'm gonna go scrounge up some seeds." He kissed Finn's temple and made his way back to Dr. Tiac.

"Hey, Doc, any chance you got any flowers I can plant to impress my boyfriend and our girlfriend?"

Dr. Tiac raised an eyebrow bemusedly.

"Those goldfish plants, maybe?" Poe prompted. "Seeds'll do. I get it though if we're rationing or whatever."

"I just never pegged you as one to take an interest in digging around in the soils, Commander," the man said, leading him through a few aisles of plants, picking up packets of seeds as well.

“Oh, _I_ am absolutely not. My dad would laugh if he saw me like this.” Poe smiled to himself, glancing at Finn: "But I think I'm getting a new perspective on a lot of things these days."

Soon Poe returned with a tray of potted plants and seeds. The hole now looked a bit _too_ big, and he chuckled. "Okay, we've got the goldfish ones, those are seeds though, so those will take some time; these are orchids, they can be sensitive so we have to keep an eye on 'em, these are, oh shit, what did he call them, lantana? Yeah. And this lilac should do well, and lavender. This one smells pretty." He stuck the small pot under Finn's nose. "We can plant all of these for when Rey gets back. Maybe she can come meditate out here, or something."

Finn reached for some of the plants, gently touching the rough leaves on the lantana and the slightly fuzzy ones on the lavender. "This one smells too," he said, holding out a lantana leaf that had come off when he touched it. It was yellowed, but it smelled... "Like an orange. But not?" Finn asked, unable to place the smell, though he was fairly certain it was one he knew.

"Lemon?" Poe tried, and shrugged. "We could put a nice paved stone in the middle with the flowers and nice smelling things all around, so when she's sitting out here mediating, she's surrounded by good smells," Poe suggested. "Or however you want. Either way it's a nice change from the smell of your socks," he teased.

"Ah, but how do you know they're not _your_ socks?" Finn asked, though he was pretty sure they were actually his. "A paving stone is a good idea! Much nicer than sitting in dirt. And we can scatter the flowers and nice-smelling plants wherever around it. It'll be pretty, but not...you know, too pretty. It won't look like the rest of the garden, is what I mean," he said, floundering about trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. "She'll know it's hers, and so will everyone else."

Poe smiled at that. "Yeah, a bit more wild and natural. Not too orderly." Poe liked that Finn at once preferred neatness and order and also liked messing it up sometimes, too. It was an adorable conflict. "Okay, you tell me where to start digging. We could also scatter the seeds of the goldfish ones and see where they like it best."

Finn eyed the hole they'd dug for the philodendron, trying to decide where to put everything else.  "We could put the stone in front of the philodendron, and then dig some holes different distances from it. And we can scatter the goldfish seeds last, and they can grow wherever they land," he said, and nodded to the philodendron, still sitting in its pot nearby. "That one first?" If they didn't, they were likely to fill in the hole while digging the others, and as much as he was enjoying digging, he didn't really want to redig _that_ hole.

Poe nodded, and they wrestled the philodendron into its new home before digging new smaller holes and planting the other flowers. They were filthy by the end, and Poe handed Finn the pack of seeds to scatter. "Then we'll water the plot."

Before sprinkling them all over the soil, Finn held some of the little goldfish plant seeds up where he could see them better. He was intrigued that plants actually grew from such tiny things—even the big trees must have been seeds once. Hopefully these would grow into plants as well, albeit smaller than the trees. When he was done looking at the seeds, he tossed them around the other plants, exhausting the supply in a matter of seconds. He turned and looked at Poe. "How do we water them? Is there a hose around, or something?" he asked, turning briefly back to the little plot. "Rey is going to love it," he said happily, reaching over for Poe's hand. " _I_ love it. Especially the lavender."

Poe squeezed Finn’s hand tightly as he stared with childlike wonder at the seeds. Reminding himself that lavish displays of affection didn't work half as well on Finn as simple pleasures he had never experienced before made Poe more angry than fond. The First Order had never had so much to answer to. It just wasn't _right_ that anyone besides Dr. Tiac could be this excited about seeds.

Poe drew himself from his introspection, almost missing what Finn said. "I'm glad you do," he said. "And yeah, Rey will love it, too." He pet the lavender and smelled his hands. "Yeah, when that one gets bigger we can cut some sprigs for our room. It's supposed to keep bugs out of clothes and is better than the smell of  my flight suits." He chuckled and looked around for a hose. "The drip system is above us, but we can give everything a bit of a soak to welcome them to their new home."

"Most things are better than the smell of flight suits and dirty socks," Finn responded, laughing softly as he said it.

Dr. Tiac came over as they were looking around for a hose and smiled at the haphazard arrangement of plants around the paving stone. "The hoses are coiled over there," he said, indicating a pile of them under a water spigot. "You'll want to use the spigot over there—the closer one is acting up and we're not sure why."

"Great, thanks," Poe said, handing the business end to Finn before turning on the spigot. "Hold your thumb over the end so it—yeah," Poe said, but Finn knew his way around a hose just fine, it turned out. _Sanitation, right_. "Mostly get the philodendron, I think, and don't spray our orchid. That bloom has to last us until Rey gets back."

"It'll last that long?" Finn asked, surprised. In his experience, which was limited, he'd admit, flowers didn't last more than maybe a week. He carefully avoided the orchid, but gave everything else a good sprinkling and soaked the philodendron extra, since it was so big. He was sorely tempted to accidentally water Poe, as well, but judged that such shenanigans might not be entirely welcome in the garden, and when he was done watering, he folded the hose to stop the water and nodded to Poe that he was done and the water could be turned off. Once the hose was coiled and put away, he went to stand with Poe and look at their handiwork. "I’m glad you needed to move that out here," he told him, nodding to the philodendron.

Poe smiled at the rest of their garden. "I'm glad, too. You just let me know, Finn, we can come out here any time we're not on duty." His arm slipped around Finn's shoulders again and he kissed his cheek.

Finn hummed happily when Poe kissed his cheek, slotting his arm around his waist and hugging him to him. "Did you have plans this afternoon?  I was going to see if BB-8 would help me practice binary, if I can find them," he said. They'd used more of the afternoon than he'd planned in planting the garden, but it was worth it. He had dirt under his nails and smudges across his face, and all over his trousers, which was even better—he’d never really had the chance to dig around in dirt before, not by choice or just for fun.

"Yeah," Poe laughed. "I'll come, too. I've got some paperwork to take care of. That's my only warning against the officer track: your life is paperwork." He kissed Finn's forehead. "I like listening to you talk to BB-8," he said, as they made their way back through the base. "We should also grab a ‘fresher soon, maybe, together, if you wanted?" he asked with a wicked, if slightly shy, grin.

"You can finish your paperwork while I talk to BB-8, and then we can get in the refresher?" Finn suggested, nodding excitedly. "Before dinner, at any rate. Apparently the troops are plotting something—I assume it's about boloball—so I'm going to eat with them and make sure no one gets too out of hand." He chuckled and shook his head fondly. He still couldn't believe, sometimes, that the same soldiers who could be absolutely ruthless in a firefight were the same people who would quite happily spend a ridiculous amount of time coming up with new dirty tricks to win the boloball match. Finn's favorite strategy so far had been proposed by Tawn, who was otherwise fairly quiet and reserved. She'd suggested they all run in circles at one end of the field just to distract the people who were guarding them. In theory, it would leave the person with the ball with only one opponent. Other suggestions had included water balloons (absolutely not) and funny hats (for no apparent reason other than Torch thought hats were funny).

Poe smirked. "And here _we_ were 'plotting' to just be better than you guys," he teased, rubbing Finn's hair. "Whatever you do, don't start a prank war with the pilots. I can't be held responsible for my actions, and I know where you sleep." He grinned. "Let's find Bee and go to my, uh, office." In all this time, Poe realized, he hadn't taken Finn to his office, which, to be fair, he had only as a formality, and never used.

Finn looked at Poe, eyebrows raised in surprise. "I'll keep that in mind if they start heading that direction—although I'm pretty sure we'd win," Finn joked, just to see what Poe's response would be. "Also, did I know you had an office?"

Poe raised his eyebrows in something between alarm and challenge, and he laughed, but didn't say anything. "No, hardly anyone knows I have an office. It's official and stupid. I use it as a place to _store_ paperwork, mostly," he said defensively. "But personnel reviews are due this quarter, so I'd rather not cart everything around. It's—not much to look at, sorry," he chuckled. "Let's find BB-8 then, for your lessons. I think they're inspecting _Black One_ around this time, or gossiping with the other droids." Poe rolled his eyes. Jess' astromech had a filthy mind and a filthy mouth, and there were still times where Poe was glad when Finn couldn't understand some of the things BB-8 repeated, though, to his credit, Finn was basically fluent at this point, just slow. They made their way to the hangar, where BB-8 was currently in a gaggle of droids, hooting excitedly about their latest mission (making it sound way more exciting than it actually had been), but as soon as they noticed Finn and Poe, BB-8 chirped goodbyes to their fellow droids to race over to them.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your story," Poe said, dropping to a knee.

BB-8 wiggled. [Negative. I am ready for Binary practice with Friend-Finn! I am glad you found me. I was asking R-5 if they had seen you, and then A-15 asked me about our mission, Friend-Poe, and I was almost late!] Poe stifled a laugh. Nothing freaked BB-8 out more than being late, as much as Poe tried to program that out of them.

"BB-8, could you repeat that, but slower?" Finn asked, and the droid swiveled their head toward him. 

BB-8 repeated their story, slower, and emphasizing: [I was almost late!] this time. Finn smiled. 

"Could you tell me the story you were telling the other droids? Slow enough that I can understand what you're saying?" Finn requested, and BB-8 rocked back and forth happily. It was an emphatic nod, as far as Finn had ever been able to tell. "Okay, good. But we have to go to Poe's office, because he has paperwork."

Poe led them past the General's office to where he was tucked away between the Infantry Commander (who was away on a diplomatic mission) and a supply closet. He _really_ only used this for meetings with his pilots that had to be official, and, well, okay, once or twice for an amorous rendezvous, but that had been a long time ago and he had definitely cleaned the desk since then. He firmly batted down the desire to replace those memories with ones of Finn, but they were here to _work_ , damn it. "Sorry the chair isn't more comfortable," Poe said, flicking on the light and motioning. The room was pathetically bare, with an old desk, two chairs, and a Rebellion-era propaganda poster that had belonged to the previous Squadron Commander as the only decoration. "Shouldn't take me more than an hour, then we can go somewhere else." Poe wiped his hands on his fatigues and got to work while BB-8 began his story:

[I was telling A-15 and R-5 and R-9 and DD-3 and...]

"Bee. He doesn't need all the details," Poe said, looking up. His droid was still working on what the right amount of detail was for an effective story.

[I am giving him the long version, because we are practicing] BB-8 said, getting slightly huffy before turning back to Finn. [Is that all right?]

"It's going to be boooooring," Poe warned as he pretended to work.

Finn smiled at the indignant little chirping tone that BB-8 had just taken with Poe, and nodded when the droid turned around to look at him. "Yes, of course. Go ahead, Bee," he said, leaning forward in the chair so BB-8 would know he was paying attention. "You were telling the other droids a story, right?" he prompted.

[Yes,] BB-8 said, settling on 'the other droids' because Finn probably hadn't met them all, and anyway it was embarrassing for BB-8 to admit how popular they were. They shook themselves and settled into the story, first about reminding Friend-Poe that the nav computers needed to be checked electronically in V-Wings, and then telling Friend-Iolo that he was missing his medical kit. BB-8 took Finn, slowly, through the story of takeoff, breaking atmo, and jumping into hyperspace, with _some_ detail, but probably not too much, and plenty of movement and varied inflection to hold their audience. [27 hours in hyperspace is tedious, even for droids] BB-8 explained. [Sometimes I play games with Friend-Poe, and sometimes I try to see how many programs I can run at the same time without overheating or accidentally dropping us out of hyperspace—]

"You do _what_?!" Poe cried suddenly, looking up.

[I know my limits] BB-8 said, and Poe felt like that was a dig, somehow.

When BB-8 did a perfect impression of Poe's oft-repeated "I know my limits," Finn lost his ability to keep a straight face and started cackling. "I didn't know a droid could sound so smug!" he laughed. "Good job, buddy," he told BB-8, giving them a thumbs up and receiving one in return.

"Oh stars," Poe groaned, blushing as he went back to his paperwork, determined not to intervene again, as BB-8 continued with their story.

[Now you tell me a story,] BB-8 instructed, when they were finished. [I can of course understand Basic, but Friend-Poe taps out messages with his knuckles striking on hard surfaces when he doesn't want anyone else to overhear a conversation. Just the other day, for example, Friend-Poe composed a short treatise describing the shape of Friend-Finn's posterior physique and what he should like to do...]

" _BB-8_!" Poe shouted, blushing again.

Finn blushed, filling in the blank when Poe stopped BB-8 from finishing his sentence. "Uh—that’s—okay, well, my story won't be that...interesting?" he stammered, a little flustered and maybe a little...turned on, frankly, that Poe had been interested enough in his appearance to comment on it.

Poe was glad that Finn was just as embarrassed, and he noticed how he shifted slightly in his seat. "Sorry," he felt the need to say. "It is a very fine ass, you know. Deserves a treatise, even if it's just 'dat ass.'" He laughed. "Go on, you tell Bee a story. I'm almost done here."

[Take your time, I don't mind] BB-8 chirped warmly.

"Okay!" Finn said, and thought briefly. "Poe and I planted a garden for Rey earlier," he said, and BB-8 twittered at him. "Oh, right. Binary." Much more slowly, he tapped out what he'd just said on the arm of the chair.

[Good! What is in the garden?] BB-8 asked, so Finn tapped out a description of the garden, even though it was excruciatingly slow.

Poe was able to ignore the tapping and bleeping, and he finished his reports around the time Finn got to the part about watering the garden. "Which is why we're all dirty, and need to hit the ‘fresher before dinner," Poe said, standing up.

"Done?" Finn asked, also standing.

BB-8 rolled around his feet, twittering softly, and when Finn looked down at them, they tipped their head back to look at him. [Are you sure you're _just_ washing?] they asked, swiveling to look between Finn and Poe. Finn wasn't sure how to answer, and glanced across at Poe.

"BB-8!" Poe cried again, but then he was at Finn's side, grinning softly. "That's up to Finn. Are we?" He asked.

Finn smiled shyly and shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe not _just_ washing?" he asked quietly, but with a small, mischievous grin.

"You are the biggest kriffing tease in the whole damn galaxy, you know that?" Poe said, but he was smiling as he pushed Finn against the wall with the force of his kiss. "What do you want to do in the refresher?"

Finn was grinning as Poe pushed him against the wall and kissed him, leaving him a little light-headed. He pushed back just a little bit, enough to lean on Poe a little bit as he gave him a kiss in return, but the question made him nervous and he suddenly tensed. “Uh…” he said, not sure how to answer, because he knew what he wanted but he wasn’t sure he wanted it _now_.

Poe hummed, going still as Finn tensed beneath him. Poe definitely did not want to screw this up by going too fast. "Hey, sorry sweetheart. You okay?" When Finn nodded but said nothing, Poe rubbed his shoulders gently. "Look. Finn, it's okay. We're okay, right? I just—I really want you to be clear with me,” he said, no longer teasing. “I know it's hard and you think you don't know what you want but I _can't_ screw this up with you." Poe's voice was suddenly a whisper, and he was stroking Finn's cheeks with his thumbs. There was a serious undertone to this. "I need you to tell me when it's okay to do more or if you don't want to go any further ever. I want—I _need_ to make you happy, Finn. And if that means you need more time, that's absolutely fine with me," Poe said, trying to give Finn space while his own body protested vehemently at waiting any longer.

Finn reached for Poe's elbow as he stepped out of his space, not pulling him back towards him, but still letting him know that he didn't mind him being close. "I think—I want to do more, now, and soon I think I will want to do everything." He paused, unsure if that was specific enough. Then he had an idea. "For now—let’s—we could try—everything up to that last chapter? The one about uh... _actual_ sex," he said, happy to provide as much specificity as Poe needed, if he could.

Poe, surprised at the response, brightened, taking Finn's hands. "Oh, there's _lots_ before that. I assume you mean—no, no, wait. Refresher first. We'll talk in the refresher. And BB-8 _won't_ listen in and gossip to R-5, right?" he growled, thunking his foot against BB-8's hull. The droid retaliated with a small zap that had Poe laughing. He kissed Finn again, tenderly. "Come get in the ‘fresher with me, love?" he asked softly. "And we'll talk about all the beautiful, filthy things you'll let me do to you?"

Finn smiled, chasing a few more of those soft kisses before, "Of course. Um...and you could tell me—or show me—what _you_ like, too." He reached over for Poe's hand and brushed a kiss across his knuckles before leading the way from the office, at which point he promptly realized he wasn't entirely sure where they were in the base. "I need a pilot," he joked, turning to Poe with a bright, easy smile.

Poe laughed, tossing his head back: "You know if I said 'I can fly anything,' that's a double entendre, right?"


	10. Chapter 10

Though they were handsy on the walk back, it was no more than normal. "I’d be glad to show you what I like," Poe said. "But I like it all, so that's lessons—I don't know—four through seventeen, and we're not there yet." He paused, considering how good Finn looked in his room—their room. "One thing I do like is seeing you naked," he said, a bit pointedly, herding Finn immediately into the refresher after grabbing one or two things they might need.

The refresher wasn't even warm yet by the time Finn got his clothes off, which was probably a record. Granted, there was usually a fair amount of touching and kissing going on while he and Poe both removed their clothes. This time, his shirt had been off before they even got to the washroom, and his belt and trousers followed quickly after. "How are your clothes still on?" he asked Poe, raising both eyebrows in an attempt to be coy.

"Want to make sure I take this slow," Poe said. "And if you want me to, I'd like to, ah, be in charge. Of controlling the pace. You relax and let me worry about making you feel good." Poe threaded their fingers together and flushed. " _This_ is something I like, by the way: when one of us is naked with the other fully clothed. Mm, so hot." He held Finn firmly, keeping him from getting under the spray. "Especially if you're the naked one."

"You lead, I'll follow," Finn whispered, perfectly at ease with that arrangement, and even relaxing a bit. "I like it when you're in charge," he added shyly, not sure how that sounded when it was said out loud.

Poe grinned and kissed him. "Okay, sorry for being blunt and unromantic, but we're going to talk this through. No penetrative sex, right? We're stopping short of cock in ass. I'd consider that 'all the way,' and that will take some prep, so definitely not happening tonight. But how about.. other things? Can I try my fingers inside you?"

"Stopping there, yes. Other things are—I do want to try them," he said, and went to go on, but stopped short. "This conversation seemed less weird when I wasn't having it out loud," he said. He _might_ have rehearsed similar conversations, after he'd done all the reading Poe had told him to do. "But I'm glad I'm having it with you," he added, smiling as he gave Poe's hand a gentle squeeze. There was no one else in the entire galaxy he'd have discussed this with.

"Me, too," Poe said, melting a bit and granting Finn more kisses than he could swallow. "Okay, fingers okay. How about mouth? Can I put my mouth on you...wherever? Everywhere?" Poe fixed Finn with a solid gaze. “I would really like to do that, but I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

Finn shuffled a bit, doing his best not to get impatient with all this _talking_ and not entirely succeeding. He forced himself to stop fidgeting and to treat this seriously, and to actually consider the questions Poe was asking him. "Fingers are okay. And mouth. Wherever," he said, steadily meeting Poe's eyes. He could be patient. He _would_ be patient, because this was as much about Poe being comfortable as it was about him, and if Poe needed to ask him endlessly detailed questions, he'd answer them and not get antsy about it.

"Good," Poe said, "and—and I need you to tell me if you—want to stop, or you don't like—"

“Poe,” Finn said, suddenly grabbing Poe by his shirt. “I’ll tell you. Enough talking. _Please_.”

Poe huffed, eyes going dark at Finn's clearly overwhelming desire.

“Okay,” he said, and grinned. Finn had said he liked it when he took charge, and that gave Poe a rush greater than executing a slip jaw in atmo. "Okay. Get in the refresher and wait for me." 

Poe tore his clothes off and followed in record time, kissing Finn against the wall of the refresher with such force it made a loud _thunk_. "Oh stars and skies, Finn, I _need_ you," he groaned, grabbing Finn’s jaw to direct their kisses before he quite knew what he was doing. Oh, yes, he liked it this way.

 _Finally_ , Finn thought as Poe kissed him—not one of those sweet, soft kisses, either, but one that was so insistent and needy and _hard_ that Finn felt his knees go wobbly while his cock went hard. "Stars and skies," he repeated fondly, in between kisses, because it always made his heart a little warmer when Poe said _that_ particular phrase that way. It was like a Jedi swearing by the Force.

Poe moved his hand to grasp the back of Finn's head in order to be able to control the force and angle of the kiss, nudging Finn's feet apart so he had the higher ground. He leaned in and just pressed Finn against the wall where the water was coming from, fingers brushing against Finn's throat, his chest, his ribs, hips, and finally digging into the flesh of his ass. "Force, you're so beautiful, Finn," he gasped, when they broke off the kiss, both gulping in air. "Like the sky, your skin is like the night sky, the drops of water like stars. _Stars_ , Finn." Poe was more than a bit light-headed, and he knew what he wanted to do. "Gonna get you nice and clean here, hold still," he said, lathering up a cloth and washing liberally between Finn's legs—but he'd be lying if he said the goal wasn't also to get his boyfriend just as desperate as he was. "How's that feel?" he whispered, teeth scraping against Finn's ear.

Holding still was a lot easier said than done when Poe was doing _that_ , but since he was still pressing him against the wall of the refresher, Finn managed it, more or less, though not without whimpering. "I didn't know you were a poet," he told Poe, voice only slightly strained with holding himself still. "Feels— _kriff_ , Poe—" he said, pausing to pull his thoughts back from where they were scattering, " _feels really good don’t stop,_ " he said.

"Good, good," Poe said, purring into Finn's ear and kissing him gently while he rinsed him off. "Gonna put my mouth on you. Want you to hold onto my hair, okay?" He paused, trying to read Finn's reaction. "I'm gonna take care of you, make you feel good. You can pull me off or—move me, if it feels good. I _like_ it when you pull. If you let go, I'll stop, okay?" He took Finn's hands, kissed them, and rested them on his shoulders, and kissed Finn on the lips once more before slowly going to his knees, holding Finn's hips to steady himself.

"Okay," Finn answered, moving one hand from Poe's shoulder to rest in his hair, fingers carding through it a little nervously a couple of times before he tangled his fingers in the soft curls. In his past life, this would be so wrong, this was something someone should never have to do for another person no matter how superior they were, but here, he reminded himself, with Poe, it was different. "Love your hair," he panted in an attempt to distract himself, tugging softly on one of the curls that tickled the back of his fingers.

"And I love you," Poe said, guiding Finn's other hand up into his hair, too. "Just relax," he encouraged, seeing Finn's legs shaking faintly. "I've got you, gonna make you feel so good." He pressed a kiss to one hip, and then skipped over Finn's hardness to kiss the soft junction between thigh and groin. "Can stop me at any time," he reminded Finn, a thrill going down his spine as Finn's fingers tightened a little in his hair. He gave Finn just one cautious lick, delighting as he jumped, before giving him another, and then another long stripe, trying to see where he was most sensitive. He grinned up at Finn, holding the backs of his legs and running his fingernails down the backs of his thighs. "How's that?" he asked, already knowing Finn wanted more.

Finn didn't realize Poe had spoken to him, initially, a little overwhelmed (but in the _best_ possible way) by the fingernails on the backs of his thighs following so closely on the heels of Poe's careful, deliberate, _sinful_ tongue. When he did realize that Poe was talking to him, he looked down to meet him smile with a dizzy grin of his own. He backtracked to remember what he'd been asked and the grin grew wider, although he could still feel his legs shaking, just a little. "It's perfect. You're perfect. I'm not stopping you," he said, tugging again at Poe's hair and then scratching his scalp gently with his fingernails.

"Okay, good," Poe said, allowing himself a toothy smile ( _this was working he was making Finn happy and he wasn't scared this was the best day of his life!_ ) before shielding his teeth with lips and tongue and, without further teasing, took Finn into his mouth, grabbing the backs of his thighs to hold him there.

Finn shivered, anything he was about to say turning instead into a long moan that was, frankly, a little embarrassing. He usually found it just possible to keep from making noises that were too very embarrassing, but this was pushing the limits of his self-control. Poe had bragged that he was better with his mouth than his hands, once (maybe more than once, Finn couldn't remember right now), and he had certainly not been lying. Finn was pretty sure his brain was sparking.

Poe groaned, twirling his tongue and taking Finn a little deeper, urged by those perfect noises he was making. Stars, he was beautiful, and Poe wanted to hear more, but he couldn't well tell him 'louder, more, let me hear you' while he had Finn's cock in his mouth, so he showed his appreciation the only way he could: he bobbed his head back and forth a few times, gently hollowing his cheeks before taking Finn to the hilt, deep in his throat past the gag reflex he didn't have, and swallowing hard, throat constricting around him.

Not making noise was overrated, Finn decided. And anyway, he was concentrating way too hard on being quiet, and it was distracting him from the wonderful things Poe was currently doing with his mouth. He let another groan slip from his mouth as Poe moved, and tensed his fingers in his hair, panting a little helplessly. Poe swallowed, and he tensed, a shiver running all the way up his spine. "'M really close," he gasped in warning.

Poe moaned, vibrating low in his throat, surprised Finn had lasted this long already. He nodded as best as he could: let go, want this, want you, please. He pulled back enough to gasp in a breath and then he was back, nose pressed against Finn's belly and tongue licking everything he couldn't reach until Finn's hips gave a precious little stutter and then his throat was full of Finn's come and Poe had to grab himself firmly to not follow Finn over the edge too soon. Poe pulled back with a gasp, swallowing every drop and getting quickly to his feet to hold Finn up as he went suddenly weak.

Finn was more than happy to lean on Poe as he held him up until his legs would support him again.  He nuzzled at Poe's neck and kissed his cheek, holding him tightly. "You're—that was—wow," he told him almost reverently, and then smiled slowly when Poe's hips pressed against his and he realized Poe was still hard. He wasn't quite ready to attempt for Poe what Poe had just done for him, but he did want to make him happy. "Teach me? The—how you did that, but with your hands?" he asked.

Poe was rubbing Finn's back, focused on letting him ride out his pleasure ("You're okay, I've got you. Love you. You were so good, you taste so good, I love you, thank you," he was murmuring, kissing Finn's neck), so he was surprised to hear him sound so coherent so soon. And— _yeah_ , he wanted that, but— "Yeah, yeah. First, kiss me? Want you to—taste yourself on me. It's not gross, I promise. Would you do that for me?"

It was probably good that Poe had a better sense of timing than Finn did—when he shifted his weight to his other foot so he could kiss Poe, he realized he was still leaning on him, mostly because he wanted to but definitely also because he needed to. Being this close to Poe—as close as they could get unless physics broke and they could occupy the same space—was his favorite place. He could feel Poe's heartbeat where their chests were pressed together, before he leaned away just a little. He grinned crookedly and then kissed Poe, a little slowly at first, and then deepening the kiss, hands clasped loosely at the small of Poe's back. And—it wasn’t gross, surprisingly. Not at all.

"Mm," Poe said, more than satisfied, more than pleased by the kiss. "That was okay?" he asked when they parted, arms round each other, noses pressed together. Finn's heart was still pounding, he could feel it in his pulse.

"It was more than okay," Finn hummed, "You're so good to me," he added, giving Poe another kiss. "I love you."

"Love you more," Poe smirked, more than a little proud of his work, especially since this was the result, and he kissed Finn again. He could feel a new need rear its head in him: he needed to do that again, to hear Finn's scream of orgasm echo in the refresher, to taste him again, to make him happy and wrecked with pleasure and make him _his_. The rush he got from knowing _he_ had done that to Finn was greater than flying.

But Poe shook himself. _Slow_. They were going slow, and Finn didn't need to know how obsessed he was just yet. "You wanna dry off and lie down?" Finn still felt shaky and overwhelmed and it was painfully cute.

"Yes please," Finn answered, because he definitely couldn't go to dinner all dazed and feeling like he was floating. For one thing, it'd be obvious to probably everyone what had just gone on, and even more likely, he'd just walk into a wall. Repeatedly. And give himself a black eye, and then not notice. "Did we get all the dirt off?" he asked, remembering vaguely that that was why they were supposed to be in the refresher in the first place.

Poe laughed: "No, I guess not," he said, scrubbing beneath Finn's fingernails and then his own, and dunking his head before shutting off the water. His own arousal was obvious, but casual, as he towel-dried his hair and body. On D'Qar no one was ever truly dry anyway, so they tumbled into bed still moist and warm, Poe crawling on top of Finn to kiss and touch him, giving him those arm scratches he seemed to love so much. "Love you," he said again, because he loved saying it.

"Love you more," Finn answered, using Poe's response from minutes earlier, smiling as Poe scratched up and down his arms.  He turned them both palm up and hummed happily before giving Poe a long, considering look. "You said you'd teach me how to make you happy," he suggested. "When you want to. We don't have to right now, if you don't want to."

Poe found himself blushing, like he'd been caught at something he wasn't supposed to be doing, and he giggled and slid to one side, letting himself drag against Finn's hip and groaning. "You—you want to? Maybe a handjob, like last time, only you do it?" He smiled, eyes darkening a bit. "That would be really fucking hot." He bit his lip.

"Yes, I really do," Finn answered, "But you have to tell me if I do it wrong," he added, brushing his fingertips down Poe's side to his hip and then back up over his ribs and chest before stroking back down and resting his palm on Poe's hip.

"You can't get it wrong," Poe said, flopping onto his back with a grin, and putting his hands behind his head—partially to give off an air of relaxed calm, but partially to keep his hands out of the way so he wouldn't get bossy (as he had a tendency to get). "There's only good and really good." He gasped, proving a point, as Finn's fingertips danced low across his belly, teasing.

Finn considered for a moment. "I remember what you do," he said, "I could try doing that?" he asked, brushing his fingers across Poe's belly again, since that had seemed to get a reaction from him. He let his fingers dip a little lower this time, almost-but-not-quite touching his cock.

Poe's hips shifted, stomach tightening. "Ohh yeah, yeah," he said, gulping. "Do what—" _What you like_ , was what he had been about to say, but Poe still didn’t think Finn had even touched himself like this yet. "Whatever you—want. I mean, you know the basic motion," he laughed. "Oh, hang on." He reached into a bucket by his bed and pulled out a tube of lubricant. "Put a bit of this on your hand. Be easier on both of us." Watching Finn uncap it and smear his fingers with the stuff was oddly erotic, and Poe licked his lips.

Finn spread the lubricant over his hand without looking, because he was watching Poe's face. He looked eager, entirely unconcerned, and _patient_ , and that quiet confidence that he wouldn't screw up did more for his slight case of nerves than any amount of verbal reassurance, even though he appreciated that too. Once he judged that his fingers were slick enough, he gently closed his fist around Poe and tried to mimic the motion that he'd used on him, still watching Poe's face with interest and a little bit of a mischievous grin.

Poe was very vocal about what he liked, and encouraged Finn with praise and short instructions. Soon his feet were sliding against the sheets and he was gripping the pillow behind his head, panting. "Fuck, fuck, Finn, oh, oh!" He wasn't good at staying still or keeping quiet. "Use—both hands—please, rub your thumb over the—holy kriffing _shit_ —" and without warning he was crying out Finn's name and coming hard, hitting himself in the chest with the force of his orgasm before collapsing back to the mattress, boneless and grinning and warm and still gasping, eyes still closed.

Finn understood why Poe liked this so much—it was almost intoxicating, knowing you had the ability to make someone feel _that_ good. He stroked Poe gently a few more times, until he wasn't gasping quite so hard, and then leaned forward to nuzzle at his neck and pepper kisses along his jawbone, and to the corner of his mouth. "Your face does beautiful things, you know," he told him softly, and gave him a much longer kiss.

"Come here," Poe gasped, swiping a shirt or a towel or something over his chest before pulling Finn against him. "Stars, I love you, Finn," he panted, trying to curl in close to him, knees shaking slightly. He tried scattering kisses over everywhere he could reach. "So good. So good to me, you're—I’ve never felt so good in my _life_ ," he said, and that was actually not an exaggeration.

Poe didn't need to ask twice—Finn was more than happy to pull Poe closer to him and curl around him, running a soothing hand down his shaky legs. He thought he might melt, that he could make Poe feel better than anyone had previously done. He pressed a kiss to Poe’s hair as he tucked him closer, under his chin. "I love you too," he said softly, because if he spoke louder, his voice was going to crack. He—an ex-stormtrooper, who hadn't even had the opportunity to make someone truly happy until he'd met Poe and Rey—could make the person he loved more than anything in the whole universe _happy_. Maybe there was hope for him yet. "Thank you. Thank you, thank you," he whispered, punctuating each thank you with another kiss on the top of Poe's head, and then he burst into tears.

"Finn," Poe moaned, and would have been content to lie here tucked into Finn's arms and against his chest until his heart stopped slamming into his ribs, but something in Finn's voice caught, and Poe pulled back: "Hey, are you—oh wait, Finn! Finn, are you crying, love?" Finn's face was streaked with tears. "Did I screw up? Are you okay? Tell me these are good tears, please, I'm so sorry, I love you..."

"They're good tears, they're good," Finn said, hurrying to reassure Poe that there was nothing wrong. He ducked his chin and rested his head against Poe's chest for a moment, still running a hand up and down Poe’s leg. "Don't apologize," he said, and pulled back enough to explain his nonsensical behavior. "I've never made someone feel _that_ good, or _that_ happy, before, and I love you so much, and I'm just...I was overwhelmed. I didn't mean to worry you," he said, still feeling ridiculous.

"Oh!" Poe sighed, relieved, and attacked Finn with kisses until he laughed and he collapsed. "Finn, don't apologize, not for that," he said, his own eyes misting, now, too, at this perfect angel he was holding in his arms, feeling guiltily like he had stolen him from the heavens where he belonged. "You do, you make me feel good, like no one—not ever."

(There had been physical pleasure from sex, there had been even the swell of companionate love, and the dark lust of passion—and even some of those things combined—but never something like this, never what he had with Finn, something he didn't have words for.)

Poe kissed the tears from Finn's eyes, and kissed his cheeks and his lips, and then tucked him close to his chest and squeezed him hard. "So good. Thank you. Thank you, Finn," he murmured, closing his eyes. "I love you. You go ahead and be overwhelmed," he said, rubbing his back. “Bask in the knowledge of how happy you can make me with just your fingers, and your kisses, and your words and your love. Relax and know that you loving me is the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Finn was still grinning when Poe tucked him back to his chest, and he closed his eyes as he curled closer. "I love you most," he said, though it was probably a little muffled. He'd have very happily stayed there all night, skipping dinner, but his stomach had other ideas. It growled loudly in the comfortable, contented silence after both of them had stopped speaking, and Finn chuckled. "I guess at some point we have to eat," he said wistfully, not making any immediate move to get up.

Poe laughed. "Whatever, I had _my_ dinner—okay, that was crass, sorry—ah!" he said, but he was still cackling even as Finn leapt on him, tickling his ribs until he yelped and squirmed. "Okay, sorry, sorry, we'll go to dinner, ah, help!" Poe wasn't normally this ticklish, but blamed it on the orgasm and sappy gushing love between them.

Finn got the giggles as Poe tried to fend him off, and had to stop when he was laughing too hard to continue. He rolled away from Poe and stood, reaching down to pull him to his feet. His shirt was across the room, his socks at the foot of the bed, and the rest of his clothes were in the bathroom with Poe's.

Poe leered at Finn playfully as he dressed, making a noise of appreciation. "We should eat and come back quick," he tried, reluctantly pulling on his fatigues, switching his shirt out for a clean one.

"See, you say that, but you still tell me at least once a week to stop bolting my food," Finn remarked, straightening from tying his shoes just in time to catch sight of Poe bending down to tie his. He blushed when Poe straightened and he realized he was definitely staring at his ass.

Poe caught Finn staring and winked. "I promise I won't mention it tonight," he vowed, kissing Finn once more before exiting and going with him arm in arm to the mess hall, where Iolo was already in a friendly argument with Torch.

"Dameron! Finn! This clown wants to bet on a 9 point lead to the infantry team!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more fun times. Poe's new favorite thing is wrecking Finn.

"A nine-point lead? Sounds doable to me," Finn answered the squabble, glancing over at Torch, who was now grinning.

"See! Captain says so, it must be true," he said, and Finn laughed.

"And that is why you're my favorite. Don't tell the others, it'll hurt their feelings," he joked, and Torch just shook his head before turning back to Iolo. "So! What do you say?" he asked.

Poe rolled his eyes, patting Iolo's shoulder. "We've been playing the game since these kids were in diapers."

Iolo raised an eyebrow. "You do know Torch is older than me?"

" _Euughhh_ why are you all so young? Where’s Snap when I need him? I'm getting chow," Poe grumbled, moving to the line.

"Rice and fruit! The best dinner!" Finn said happily, bounding forward with his tray and waiting patiently for his food. The lady dishing out food looked at him, and he smiled brightly, earning a fond smile in return (and extra rice and fruit). "I'm glad we didn't skip dinner," he told Poe as they rejoined Iolo and Torch.

"Me, too," Poe said, letting Finn choose where they sat and unable to stop staring at Finn, so much that Jess, when she joined them, jogged him with her elbow and asked if he was going to eat anything on his tray.

"Hm?" he said, still staring and grinning faintly. 

"Oh my gods, did you have sex?" she hissed in his ear, and Poe blushed.

"None of your business!" he yelped, a bit loudly, which made Snap and Iolo grin knowingly.

"Well, you're not allowed to leave until you clean your plate, Commander. We need you to be well fed and in good form and not _distracted_ on game day," Jess said. "So _whatever_ it is, get it out of your system in the next five days, Poe."

Finn was well aware that Poe was watching him, but he wasn't sure that anyone else had noticed. But then Jess had some kind of mostly quiet conversation with Poe, and Torch cleared his throat to get Finn's attention.

"Sooooo. Have a good afternoon?" he asked, and Finn narrowed his eyes at him. "All I'm saying is that we can't have anyone _exhausted_ during the big game because they were busy doing other things the night or nights before," he added, and Finn huffed a sigh at him. He wondered what iteration of this conversation Poe was currently catching from Jess. It had to be similar.

"If you think my boloball performance will be anything but improved by any... _other_ _performance_ ," Poe coughed slightly, "you don't know Poe Dameron. And _if_ it did, we would balance each other out. Not that it's any of your business."

"It is if we can hear Finn screaming three bunks over," Snap laughed, and Poe glowered.

"Then you just un-hear it, Wexley."

It felt like turning a battlecruiser, but eventually Poe managed to turn the conversation to the actual game, which was in five days, when everyone who wanted to play had time off, providing nothing came up—but the First Order had been relatively quiet recently (too quiet, Poe suspected that Leia suspected)—so they weren't likely to be interrupted. They all had practice, therefore, every day until then, and the night before both teams would get together for a pasta night, as was tradition. Beer was ordered for after the game, and the losing team would pick up the tab, as well as be the subject of ridicule. 

"I hear even the General's planning to stop by to watch," Karé said excitedly, sitting down to join them.

"Which reminds me, if anyone wants to get in the pool, betting ends on pasta night. We gave Torch 1 to 5 odds that infantry beats air by nine or more points."

"Hm, what's to stop us from taking those odds and throwing the match?" Poe mused, and Jess laughed.

"The knowledge that various people, no doubt including the General, would be very annoyed when they figured it out? And you know we would," Finn answered slyly. "Also, you're pilots, I know you have more pride than that." He glanced at Jess, who'd snorted as if to disagree with him. She seemed to think better of it, though, and shrugged.

"You're probably right. But since we're going to win, this doesn't matter."

Finn rolled his eyes at the taunt, leaving someone else to take the bait and start a discussion with Jess.

Poe grinned. What the pilots lacked in physical prowess as compared to the soldiers was made up for by the things that kept them alive: keen eyes, quick hands, ruthless cunning, and teamwork. Poe didn't let new pilots fly until they had gone up with every member of the squadron enough times for them to learn each other. Sometimes, if and when they paid close enough attention to each other, they really would flock like birds. Not to say that the soldiers didn't also survive on teamwork, but it was different. In a starship, you learned to trust other people to actively protect your back, not just watch it for you.

Whether any of this would translate to boloball, however, remained to be seen.

So Poe didn't egg them on any further, but let Torch and Iolo continue to give each other shit until Karé called Iolo off.

"So besides bragging rights and free beer, what do we get when you lose?" Poe finally said aloud, looking at Finn and the rest of the soldiers. "We could draw for extra duties, or...I think the Life Day drag performance went well last year..." Poe couldn't deny he'd like to see Finn in a mini-skirt... "On second thought, never mind. No way I'm letting you guys have all the fun!" Poe thought _he_ looked rather good in a mini-skirt...

"Losers draw for duties, then," Finn said, and held his hand out, "Shake on it?" After they'd done so, the table descended back into its original chaos, with the addition of various arguments over who was going to clean toilets when one team or another inevitably won. 

"I think the captains should get that duty," Torch said, and Finn looked at him.

"You are no longer my favorite," Finn informed him, and shrugged one shoulder, "But at least I've had plenty of practice, at any rate."

"Oh no no no," Poe protested. "I mean we put in chores and duties we already have, and the other team draws them out of a helmet."

"I have latrine duties to add to the helmet, sir," one of the soldiers piped up.

Poe groaned.

Finn smiled a little smugly and patted Poe on the hand, since he was across the table. "Hey, look on the bright side: _maybe_ you guys will win. I'm sure less likelier things have happened," he joked, to the amusement of his soldiers.

"Hey!" Poe said, withdrawing his hand with a playful huff. "You just keep dreaming," he told Finn. It was a bit wearying to pretend to be antagonistic with Finn when he was longing to get him back into bed, and Poe shook himself. Maybe Jess was right, maybe he wasn't in the right headspace for competition.

Eventually, Finn decided he was done, both with his food and with tormenting Poe by eating slowly when he'd wanted a quick dinner. He smiled across the table at him and nodded toward the door. "Done eating yet?" he asked, deliberately casual.

"Yes!" Poe said before he could dial back how eager he sounded. "I mean—if you are?" But it was Finn's tray that was empty and Poe's that still had food on it. Jess was giving him a hard look.

"Just let him go," Snap told her. "Do you want this out of his system by the big game or not?" And Poe was grateful enough for the excuse to be gone that he didn't care about their teasing. He stood up.

Finn didn't want Poe skipping meals any more than any of the pilots, and he also didn't want Jess to throttle him. "Don't worry, we have snack bars and those protein drinks. I'll make sure he eats something— _food_ , Iolo—never mind—OKAY BYE," Finn said, turning red and fleeing the table while the soldiers and pilots collectively lost it.

Poe got a smug grin on his face at that one—and at Finn's blush—that he couldn't wipe off his face until Finn had dragged him from the mess hall and basically to their room. The last leg of the journey it became Poe's turn to lead, speed increasing with his excitement.

"Sorry about those guys. It's how we show love, by being way too involved with each other’s personal lives—and anyway, I _love_ your noises," he added in a low whisper as he slid an arm around Finn's shoulder.

Finn was still blushing when Poe threw his arm around his shoulders. "Am I _really_ that loud?" he asked with some concern, turning his face to bury it in Poe's shoulder as they walked. He probably wouldn't slam into any walls if Poe was watching where they were going.

Poe smirked. "Not loud enough, in my opinion," he said, guiding Finn to their room and kissing his hair. "I like it. Don't worry about them. I love it, and if we want to go somewhere where we can make all the noise we want and no one will hear us, I'll sneak us into the VIP suite or—or something, again." They were in their room, now, and Poe shut the door. "So you want to wrestle, or something? Letting me win gets you in the mood, right?" he asked, cupping Finn's chin to give him a quick kiss.

BB-8 tweedled at them.

"Hi, BB-8, yes, I know we're back early. Me and Finn are gonna have some fun for a bit, okay?"

[ _Ohh_ ] BB-8 said.

"Don't 'ohh' me," Poe said, turning to face the droid and putting a hand on his hip, but BB-8 sassed right back at him with a wiggle, and went back to their wall charger, muttering something about code updates that were ‘luckily very loud.’

Finn's eyes widened as he tried to remember if he'd actually said something to that effect about when they'd wrestled. He _thought_ he might have, once, but... "Did I tell you that and you remembered, or did you figure it out yourself?" he asked, just to be certain. He thought he'd done a really good job, that time, of not letting on that Poe beating him at wrestling definitely turned him on.

"Oh, you said. And it was kind of obvious," Poe said, taking Finn's hand and kissing his fingertips, one by one, and then his palm, and then his wrist, "only because it kinda turns me on, too." He looked up and smiled. "We can skip to the end where I have you on your back, though, that's the best part." He giggled, urging Finn backward toward the bed. "Unless you want to have me on my back?" he offered. "I can go either way and be perfectly happy."

"I—think I prefer being on my back," Finn said. "Uh. Not that I wouldn't like both!" He sighed softly, then, frustrated with how it still felt strange and a little disconcerting to express preference when someone asked him outright. Surely someday he'd get over it... He shook his head and looked at Poe, a smile replacing his frown. "Want to skip to the end?" he asked, standing just close enough to give Poe a kiss on the chin.

Poe grinned, almost feral. "Yes." He pushed Finn back onto his ass on the bed and then onto his back, gripping his jaw to give him a possessive, hungry kiss. "Yes, I do." He slid a knee between Finn's legs, grinding against him, and grasped Finn's wrist. "Gonna start gentle with you," he explained, one hand just resting on Finn's throat, the other gripping his wrist loosely. "You want me rougher you can...struggle, a bit." He grinned. "Like we're wrestling—only—wait! Only you're still letting me win!" Poe cried as Finn nearly actually bucked him off.

Finn smiled slowly. "So, enough to make some attempt at winning, but not enough to do, say—" he moved the wrist Poe had pinned above his head suddenly back, to throw him off balance and brought his leg up to knock him sideways over his other leg. Then he pushed himself upright, pinning Poe on his back.  "—That?" he finished, laughing. "Just wanted to see if you were paying attention," he added, still grinning.

Poe gasped, batting down the lust _that_ awoke in him, and forced himself to roll his eyes. "Yes, yes, we all know you're big and strong, you could at least give me the _illusion_ of control," he teased. "And that's all it is, of course. You are in control, as much as me. It's like...play wrestling?" Poe tried, knowing that Finn wouldn't have much to compare it to. He sat up, kissing Finn full on the lips, and then cheated, tickling Finn under his arms and using his sudden weakness to roll them back over, laughing in triumph as he was back on top.

Finn was still laughing helplessly when he suddenly found himself on his back again, Poe leaning over the top of him. "Neither of us is playing to win or lose, we're doing it for fun. I understand," he told Poe, relaxing into the mattress and grinning up at him.

"Yeah, yeah," Poe said, smiling between kisses. "Mm, you taste so good," he growled, reaching between them to tug Finn's shirt over his head. "And you're beautiful. You're gorgeous." He distracted himself from the wrestling game to trace scars on Finn's body—not many of them—but Poe recognized them mostly from where he had been taught stormtrooper armor was weakest. Finding one at the hem of his trousers awoke a new fire in him, however, and Poe had Finn stripped in seconds, boots and all. "Stars," he panted, feeling like he was going blind, "and you're all mine," he growled, sucking down on Finn's neck, leaving a deep bruise that stood out even against his dark skin. "Skies, I love you," he moaned, fingers digging into wrists where he had Finn pinned to the bed.

Finn lay mostly still, shivering a little as Poe's fingers traced lightly over old scars. There'd been a time that would have made him nervous, especially with the way his arms were pinned above his head. It would have made him feel too exposed and vulnerable. Now...well, when he shivered, it wasn't because he was worried. He gasped when Poe's fingers brushed to just under the waist of his trousers, and happily let Poe undress him the rest of the way. "I love _you_ ," he responded, "Do that again?" he asked, curling his wrists just a little against Poe's hands and shifting his hips.

"I love you more. Do what again?" Poe asked, probably sounding overly-excited, but there, Finn had just volunteered information about what he wanted! Poe nudged Finn's legs apart—not  rough, but insistent—and planed his own knees in between, one high enough that when Finn shifted his hips his cock dragged across his trousers (oh, right, _he_ was still fully clothed: _hot_ ) and Finn gave him a delicious little whimper in return.

"The—on my neck," he said, eyes fluttering shut as he moved his hips again, more intentionally this time. It made him moan, just the tiniest bit, and he arched his back, though he couldn't arch it far with Poe pinning his arms. “Oh, kriff, Poe!” he cried, suddenly, urgently feeling like this was going too slowly.

"Okay, okay, I'm gonna take care of you," he soothed, nosing at Finn's neck, at first tenderly kissing him. He smirked as Finn's hips struggled to grant him the friction he craved, and slid his knee closer. "Don't be shy, buddy, I love you like this." He crossed Finn's wrists so he could hold them with one hand and then gently but firmly tilted Finn's chin up until his throat was stretched taut and held him that way, so he could teeth at his Adam's apple and the hollow of his throat at his leisure. "Mm, taste _so_ good. You like this, now? Feels good, huh? Want me to mark you so everyone can see?" he purred, hot breath ghosting over Finn's immobilized neck. Oh, yes, he was going to take his _time_ with this one.

Finn was happy to let Poe manhandle him, even when he tilted his head back so his throat was exposed. He whimpered as Poe's breath tickled his throat and nodded gently against his hand before letting his neck relax, not fighting to put his chin down and protect his throat, and he let his legs sprawl out, giving in to—whatever Poe was doing.

"Yes, that's it," Poe told him, leaning his knee forward until Finn's hips were again rising up to meet him of their own accord, and his bare feet scrabbled for purchase against the blankets rather adorably. "Good, so good," he moaned, giving Finn a nice hickey just below his Adam's apple, and then licking it and then kissing it before he released his neck, letting Finn look back at him. "You like it when I use my teeth?" he asked, kissing his way down his chest to find a sensitive nipple, scraping his teeth across it with a grin.

"Y-yes," Finn gasped, twisting a little as he tried to find a better angle for his hips. His whole body was beginning to feel like it was alight, responding to Poe every time he so much as touched him.  " _Poe_ ," he said, practically begging, though for what he wasn't entirely sure. He just wanted...more. More of whatever Poe was willing to give him, and so glad they'd had the discussion about limits earlier, because that meant they didn't need to have it now when he gasped a slightly uncertain, "More?" and his hips bucked again, one foot slipping slightly on the sheets.

"Yeah, yeah, of course, bud, I've got you," Poe said, smiling and hunkering down closer, so he was holding Finn, protecting him with his body, even as he was systematically wrecking him: fingers tightened around wrists, knees pushed his legs a bit further apart, and now Poe closed his fingers around Finn's cock, stroking him lazily at first. "Gonna make you come while I'm biting you, what do you think? Do you think you'd like that?" he asked, grinning playfully before dipping down to bite at a dusky nipple.

Finn moaned, closing his eyes and pressing his head back against the pillows as his whole body arched. He was trembling, but he managed a nod before arching his back again, a soft whimper of surprise escaping him as Poe bit at him, enough to feel the scrape of teeth but not enough to hurt. He wished Poe would hurry up—if only because he wasn't sure how long he could take this before he attempted to take matters into his own hands, very literally. Then again, the state Poe had him in, he'd be lucky to be able to do anything coherently enough to accomplish that.

Poe couldn't help but laugh a little at Finn writhing in his arms—but it wasn't a derisive laugh at all: it was loving, it was _joyful_. Finn was barely clinging to sanity and Poe had really only gotten started and he felt positively gleeful. "Yes, yes, mine, my Finn, my beautiful warrior," he said, punctuating his words with kisses and bites across Finn's chest, while he paused only enough to lube up his hand so he could really take care of Finn. "Gonna make you come for me, and I'm gonna eat you up because I love how you taste—" here he bit down a little harder on his other nipple, as yet untouched.

Well, Finn _had_ told Jess he'd get Poe to eat something, although, admittedly, this had not been what he'd had in mind (okay, it was maybe kind of what he'd had in mind). The thought made him laugh, although it came out a bit strange when it crossed with another, more emphatic moan. "Not gonna take long," he said, pressing his hips up so he slid against Poe's hand, " _Please_ don't stop," he added, just in case Poe was considering it.

"Oh, Finn, darling, I'm not stopping," he whispered, pressing kisses to his face and neck and lowering himself closer to him. "Not stopping until I've wrung out every bit of pleasure you can possibly handle in one night." He giggled then, helplessly, twisting his wrist and delighting in the way Finn danced against him, almost actually bucking his hold that time. "Not stopping unless you tell me to," he said, and bit Finn's ear experimentally, pumping him faster, feeling how close he was, and teething across his entire body, trying to find the place that got the best reaction.

Finn gasped, panting harder as Poe's hand moved faster, his hands tensing into fists. Poe was kissing down his neck, and Finn had no hope of stopping a startled, helpless moan when Poe reached almost to his collarbone and nipped at the soft, sensitive skin on his throat there. He came when Poe nipped a little less gently than he had been, his hips bucking hard against Poe's as the force of his arched back tugged on the hold around his wrists.

"Mm," Poe moaned, hearing and feeling Finn react, and he dug in his teeth and sucked a bruise to mark the spot to return to later. He worked Finn throughout his orgasm, and swallowed his whimper with a kiss. "That's my Finn, so good for me," he purred, feeling Finn go weak in his hold, and he released Finn's wrists and drew his arms down and close to him, cradling and stroking him until he stopped trembling. "I love you, I love you. Want to watch me clean you up?" he asked, kissing Finn as he gently extricated himself to slide down his body to survey the mess. "Stars and skies," he whispered, overwhelmed by the sight (it was beautiful and it was fucking hot and _he had done that_ and that was Finn's pleasure) and he bent immediately down to lick it from his chest and belly, moaning softly. 

Finn was about to make a very uncoordinated motion toward a shirt or whatever article of clothing was nearest, so Poe wouldn't have to clean him up. But then Poe was moaning quietly, and when Finn managed the coordination to raise his head, he realized Poe didn't actually _mind_. More than that, he seemed to really _like_ it. He let his head drop back to the pillow, that image still a little in his mind's eye. It was kind of hot, in spite of being filthy. Or maybe—he raised his head again to check—okay, maybe it was _really_ hot. He grinned like a fool, lying there still and pliant and content to focus on the gentle scratching of Poe's tongue across his belly as he worked down from his chest.

Poe looked up, catching Finn watching him, flushed and grinning, and he grinned back. With one thick swipe of his tongue the mess was gone and Finn's _perfect_ kriffing eight-pack was shining and clean. "Love seeing you like this," he murmured. "Was that okay?" he asked, slithering up Finn's body to hold him close, fingers tracing patterns over his skin. "Talk to me, buddy."

"It was amazing," he said, nuzzling against Poe's chest and sighing happily. "How do I find a better way to say it?" he asked. So far he couldn't think of anything better than 'amazing' or 'incredible,’ and he'd said those so many times he was afraid they didn't mean enough anymore. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Poe and pulled him close, holding him as tight as he could. "I love you this much," he said, tangling their legs together.

Poe grinned. "I love you, too. And I'm not looking for adjectives, just—things you liked, since we’re still learning each other," he said, kissing Finn's forehead. "For me: I love doing things that make you happy, I love seeing you squirm and hearing those noises and I love seeing you dirty," he grinned. "And I love the way every part of you tastes." 

"Oh, well, that's easier," Finn said, grinning. "I love how you let me try things at my own pace, and that you know how much to push me and when to give me space. I love it when you say sexy things, and then make sure that I'm okay. I love how much you _care_ , and I love that you cuddle with me every time after," he said.

Poe kissed him soundly, eyes misting at the praise. "Well, you didn't have to go and get _poetic_ ," he said, though his heart swelled and he couldn't hide how pleased he was. Poe's eyes sparkled. "Want to go again? I haven't had you in my mouth in at least thirty seconds, and I'm getting hungry," he said playfully, setting Finn back down, arranging him on the pillows so that he felt cuddled.

"Oh, and I love that hungry look," he said as Poe nestled him back onto the pillows. That, he loved too—that Poe could go from pinning his arms above his head and driving him completely crazy to gently nestling him back among their pillows so he was comfortable and happy. "Is it even _possible_ to go again this fast?" That hadn't been in the book.

When Finn was settled, he got up on his knees, taking his time getting his shirt and jacket off, giving Finn a little show. "I don't know if you can. Your age, probably." He shrugged, grinning, unzipping his trousers and dragging them slowly down, leaning forward to pull them off. There was a pronounced bulge in his underwear, but he left these on. "We'll see, won't we?" His eyes sparkled with promise and he licked his lips, lowering himself down to Finn's lap. "You should grab my hair again and—and I mean it, _move_ me however feels good. And—and I’m going to use my fingers, too," he said, a little shy as he took just the head of Finn's cock in his mouth, twirling his tongue.

Finn nodded, burying his hands in Poe's hair as he gasped at the first sensation. He wasn't sure he _could_ go again, but as Poe started doing talented things with his tongue, he realized maybe he was wrong—he was already getting those butterflies in the pit of his stomach that he ordinarily got when Poe did something that turned him on. He tugged at Poe's hair, encouraging him to keep going.

Encouraged by the tentative little tugs (it was like a precious reversal of a don't-know-my-own-strength thing, Poe decided: Finn knew _exactly_ how strong he was, and could control it completely, so he was intentionally and totally gentle with everything unless it required an actual application of force because he was a gentle and loving soul that Poe wanted to protect from everything even though it was laughable how much Finn did _not_ need his protection), Poe took Finn deeper in his mouth, pleased as he began to firm up almost immediately. He set his fingernails into Finn's thighs, stroking down in time with his movements—sliding up and down, slowly at first, and then faster—trying just a gentle scrape of teeth—hollowing his cheeks and sucking hard—but he refrained from swallowing him whole, though his throat actually ached with desire for more. No, he wanted Finn to use some of that strength, to grab his hair and move his head where he wanted it, wanted Finn to ask for it, to demand it. So Poe teased him, taking him a little deeper each time, but never deep enough, never all the way.

Finn whimpered just a little as Poe took him deeper, but not as deep as he'd really wanted. He tugged a few more times on his hair, and when that failed to elicit the reaction he'd been looking for, he pulled a little harder and toward his hips.

 _There we go!_ Poe thought, and might have laughed in triumph had he not been trying not to gag as he took Finn all the way. He moaned, his whole throat vibrating, and it didn't take long for Finn to finish again with a sweet whine while Poe scratched his fingernails down his sides. After Poe had swallowed every drop and Finn was as weak as a newborn kitten, Poe crawled up his body to kiss him, to feel him gasping, to feel his heart pounding, to tell him "There's my good Finn, yes, so good for me, my love, so handsome and perfect and tasty." He was already rolling Finn onto his side, toward him, tucked in close and pinning his legs down. But he wasn't done yet. In the heat of the moment, he’d forgotten to use his fingers at all!

Finn curled closer to Poe, still panting a little, and buried his face against his chest, blushing over the praise. "Guess we answered that question," he chuckled softly and pulled back just enough to give Poe several kisses. "You're so good to me. If you weren't mine, I think I'd be jealous," he admitted, and kissed him once more, "I love you."

Poe chuckled. "I think I'd like to see you jealous," he mused, kissing his thick, fuzzy hair. "I love you, too." Poe's hand wandered over Finn's body, rubbing, massaging, gentling, and when Finn relaxed into his arms like he was going to go to sleep he squeezed his ass and kissed him. "Hey, open your eyes, want you to be awake for this," he said, coating his fingers in lube and pinning Finn against him and reaching around behind him to massage between his cheeks and over his entrance. "You can tell me if you want me to stop, but I think you're gonna like this. Just hold still. Gonna make you feel really good."

Finn blinked his eyes open, making a surprised, questioning noise and tensing to move. He paused, though, when Poe told him to hold still, still a little confused but definitely not telling Poe to stop.  He was, quite honestly, a little curious as to what Poe was going to do, or rather, how this was going to _feel_ , since he had a suspicion what was happening. So he relaxed into Poe's arms, letting himself be securely pinned and held to his chest.

Feeling Finn tense, Poe stopped, rubbing his lower back instead. "Oh, oh, hey, easy, I've got you. Not gonna hurt you. I promise I'm not gonna hurt you, but we can stop." He kissed Finn. "Love you. You're so good," he whispered, waiting for Finn's word before doing anything.

"It's okay," Finn told him, brushing one hand up and down Poe's ribs, "I trust you. You just surprised me." He smiled, resting his forehead against Poe's for a moment, completely relaxed, even his hips and legs. "Thank you," he said softly.

"Thank me after," Poe chuckled, lowering his hand to massage the area again. "There's a...spot, inside, that's gonna feel really good when I touch it. Or, I mean, it does for me. Just gonna use one finger, okay? Want you to feel good, but I need you to relax for me. Just relax, and I'll take care of you." He kissed Finn's cheeks and brow, cradling him close as he began to press more insistently at his entrance.

Finn could relax. He knew he could, even with that stupid little voice that stubbornly insisted _It already feels weird_ and that didn't seem to be terrifically adept at shutting up when he wanted it to shut up. And as he grew more annoyed with himself, he grew even less relaxed, until he realized what he was doing and huffed out a long sigh, and then another one. "Sorry," he grumbled, "I'm—trying to relax and it's _not working_ ," he growled, and closed his eyes, resting his head against Poe's chest. The next time Poe pressed near his entrance, he sighed softly and, "About time..." he mumbled as he finally felt tense muscles relax, giving to pressure rather than fighting it.

Poe huffed, grinning at Finn's frustration only because it was so normal, and Finn still thought he was different—and, to be fair, what did he have to compare himself to? "Hey. It's okay, it doesn't need to happen all at once," Poe said, kissing across his face. "It's okay if it doesn't. Hook your leg—here, yeah," he said, slotting Finn's leg over his own hips, rearranging them slightly. He lubed up his fingers again. "Talk to me," he whispered, beginning to press more insistently, almost breaching him, but still taking his time. "Tell me how you feel, or tell me how pretty I am, or something."

Finn decided that trying to describe how he felt was going to be too complicated, but telling Poe all about how pretty he was would be...well, really easy, actually, because of course Poe was beautiful. "You're the prettiest person I have ever seen. I thought it the moment I saw you, even though I was looking at you through my stupid helmet, and I almost forgot how to talk when I took my helmet off and could actually see you. And you're beautiful like—this, right now, with your hair all messed up and no clothes on and occasionally making weird faces I'm not sure you know you're making," he said, grinning, forgetting to be anxious as he warmed to the subject. He could do this for hours. "You have the prettiest, gentlest hands, and your jaw—I’m pretty sure someone somewhere has written flowery, ridiculous poetry about it." He barely had to move to kiss along Poe's jaw, as close as Poe was holding him. "I would write flowery, ridiculous poetry about it, but it might scare you off," he added with a smile.

Poe hadn't quite been expecting that, and he giggled, a pleased blush creeping up his cheeks. "I would love to hear your poetry about my...jaw?" he said, indulgent and selfish at once, and tilted Finn's head cradled against his arm to kiss him. "Okay, you may feel a slight burn, but it won't hurt, and it'll be over in a second, okay?" he said, confident that Finn was relaxed and warmed enough to get one finger inside him to the first knuckle, letting him get used to that before pressing to the second knuckle, releasing a breath he hadn't known he had been holding. "Hey, there we are, not so bad, huh? Don't move. You're doing great. I love you."

"It's a very nice j—aw," Finn said, his breath hitching momentarily as Poe slid a finger inside him.  Poe was right—it didn't hurt, but it did make him momentarily tense again, until he realized Poe was waiting for him to relax before going any further. He was more prepared when Poe did move again, and managed to stay relaxed as he answered Poe's question. "Not bad," he agreed, holding very still, "Just...weird?"

"It does feel kind of weird, yeah, but just wait," Poe said, finger now seeking out that bundle of nerves that would, if all went well, set off fireworks in Finn’s brain. "Would it make it less weird if you kissed me?" He said, lowering his lips to capture Finn's in a kiss, taking only a few more seconds to find the spot he was looking for.

Finn gasped, nearly biting Poe's lip as they kissed, muscles going taught and hands grasping a little desperately at Poe's shoulders. He tried to keep still, he really did, but the sensation associated with Poe's finger inside him, pressing where he was especially sensitive, made him tremble all over, and his hands came up as if to push Poe away from him. " _Force_ , Poe," he moaned softly.

"Yeah? Yeah, you like that?" Poe said, gushing with delight as Finn gave an almighty shiver and a cute little gasp and oh force _he_ wasn't going to last. "Hang on, buddy, need both hands for this. Keep kissing me," he said, getting his other hand around Finn's cock while he continued to massage his prostate, leaning in awkwardly, now, to kiss him. "That feel good? Oh, I love you, Finn, you're beautiful like this, oh _stars_ Finn."

He wasn't going to last long, not the way Poe was carrying on. It was all he could do to hold on as the tension built through his whole body, centered on Poe's fingers. He moved the leg hooked over Poe's hip restlessly, and his fingers slid against slick skin, and Finn was helpless to do anything but continue kissing Poe, although he was getting increasingly distracted from even that. "Please," he asked, pulling back as if to escape the overstimulation, though he had no actual thoughts of getting away, and he moaned softly, "Poe, _please_ just—" he broke off as his whole body trembled again, head to toe.

"I know, I know, I've got you, Finn," Poe gasped, as desperate for Finn's orgasm as Finn was. "I've got you. _Stars_ Finn, you're my world, my sun, my moon, _kriff_ , Finn." He was distracted, briefly, by where Finn's fingers dug into his back and sides, all he could hold onto, scrabbling for purchase across bare skin, and Force, was he _really_ going to come from just that? "I love you, Finn. Need you like my skies, Finn—ohh—" he twisted his wrist and plunged his finger as deep as it would go "come for me, darling, I love you—" Finn's scream cut him off, and as much as Poe loved hearing it, he swallowed it with a kiss and followed him over the edge.

Finn smiled when he felt Poe's hips buck against his as they came within milliseconds of each other, gasping around kisses and pressing close to each other. He was still gasping a little when he came back to himself, curled tight against Poe's chest. Even if he'd wanted to move (and he really didn't want to, not yet) he wasn't sure he could have, the way he was still shaking, his muscles weak and energy completely spent.

"Oh fuck," Poe gasped, waiting until his heartbeat evened out before he laughed, warmth spreading through his body: "You are _so_ gorgeous," he said, kissing Finn as he gathered him back up into his arms (both hands wound around Finn now). "We are gonna need a towel—or another ‘fresher." He cackled. "Finn, I just came, untouched, _in my pants_ because you are the hottest thing this side of Tattooine, my friend." He kissed him. "That was okay for you? Not weird anymore?"

"Still kinda weird," Finn admitted, "But I think that maybe made it better?" He laughed and shook his head. "Whatever it was— _stars_ , I have to wake up and be able to _function_ tomorrow morning," he moaned. Right now nothing sounded better than curling up next to Poe and snuggling like their lives depended on it. Forever. He definitely didn't want to think about waking up in the morning. "If we wash, it better be quick, because I don't think my legs want me standing," he mumbled, scrunching around until he was half-clinging to, half-draping on Poe.

Poe couldn't stop grinning, warm and satisfied and giggly. "Here, wait, let me up!" he laughed, squirming as Finn clung to him tighter, and everything tickled. "I'll be right back!" he said, kissing Finn until he released him. Still laughing, he staggered into the bathroom, cleaned himself and lost his soiled underwear (like a _teenager_ , Dameron, must be ten years since you did that!) before returning with a warm, wet cloth for Finn, washing his face before cleaning up the mess on him and the sheets. He tossed the towel toward the hamper, missed, but let it fall as he crawled back into bed. "Okay, come here, clingy Ewok. We can totally do this the night before the game, right?" he teased. It just might work: _he_ felt great now, and Finn was exhausted and already stiff from being so wrung out. This was an excellent plan.

"Mmmmm," Finn hummed happily as he resumed clinging to Poe, arranging his arms and legs so they were as little in danger of becoming stiff or sore as possible. It hadn't occurred to him that all of that would use so many muscles in ways they were really not used to. "That's cheating," he grunted at Poe, nuzzling closer to his neck. "But the night after, maybe."

Poe chuckled. "Oh, definitely," he purred, laughing as Finn arranged _him_ tonight, and when he was done, Poe curled his arms around him in turn, scrubbing a hand over his short hair. "Love you, Finn. Thank you for...thanks for trusting me. You really are the skies and stars to me, you know that?"

Finn wasn't planning on moving so much as a muscle, but he tipped his head back to catch Poe's gaze and smiled, a slow uncertain smile that grew wider and more certain when he realized he had just heard correctly. And, okay, maybe he choked up a little, but Poe, pilot extraordinaire, master of the skies and stars, had just told him _he_ was the skies and stars to him. "No one ever made me _want_ to trust them, or gave me a reason to, before you," he admitted softly. "You saved me. You're _saving_ me."

Poe rolled impossibly closer, gripping Finn tight. "Oh, Finn," he said, and could say nothing else as his stupid throat tightened. "We'll just keep saving each other, then, okay?" he said, pressing wet lashes against Finn's brow, squeezing him like the Order was going to try to take him back. After a moment, he relaxed, and reached down to tug the blanket up over them. "Go to sleep, before you make me cry. I love you."

"I love you too," Finn answered, sighing happily and nestling under the blanket next to Poe.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boloball match.

The day of the match Poe woke full of energy. Probably too much energy, as Finn had held out on him last night but for kisses and cuddles, thanks to some superstition the soldiers told Finn about sex decreasing a man's "vitality," which Poe had said was totally a myth but Finn also wanted to get a good night's rest, anyway.

Finn was already awake and watching him, and Poe grinned. "Morning," he said, extricating himself from their tangle of limbs (Finn was half on top of him, and there was now a cold spot on Poe's chest where Finn's head had been all night) enough to stretch. "Sleep good?" He laid a hand on the back of Finn's neck.

Finn smiled sleepily at Poe and stifled a yawn.  "More or less.  Dreamed about boloball all night," he said, moving so he could sit up without elbowing or kneeing Poe somewhere it would hurt.  "Did you?  I don't think either of us even moved," he said, stretching out a few sore muscles that had knotted up after practice and the pasta dinner. He yawned again, enjoying that he could wake up slowly instead of awakening and jumping out of bed to run to drill or training or something else.

"I think you're right. Pretty sure I didn't move. Slept great." Poe grinned. "Gotta eat a good breakfast, now, but—" he checked the clock, "but not yet." He rolled over slightly, searching out a kiss. "Good luck today. You're gonna need it." He grinned playfully.

Finn leaned down to kiss Poe, completely unhurried about it. "Who needs luck when you have skill?" he responded, answering Poe's grin with one of his own. "You guys, maybe, but not us."

Poe laughed. "Ooh you're going to be hurting come tonight, after the stomping we give you, " he promised, and then his eyes brightened dangerously. "We should make our own bet," he said suddenly and without thinking it through, eyes sparkling wickedly. "A _sexy_ bet. No money, no chores."

"Like what?" Finn asked, chuckling, "What is the difference between a normal bet and a _sexy_ bet?"  He glanced down at Poe and smiled, intrigued at the suggestion.

Poe laughed, a little dazed. Sometimes he felt like he and Finn could read each other's minds, while other times he felt like he was in way over his head and was trying to explain sex in a language he didn’t speak. "Well, it's when couples get to do something sexy with each other as the result of a bet, and even though there's a 'winner' and a 'loser,' it's fun for both of them. We might say loser gives winner a blowjob or something, but that's a little bit boring," he suggested, eyeing Finn carefully in case he wanted to disagree. "And _you're_ getting one no matter who wins," he purred, kissing the hollow of Finn's throat where he could still faintly see the bruises he'd raised there days ago.

Finn smiled, bringing a hand up to stroke softly along Poe's ribs as he kissed him. "Well, then, we should bet something else," he answered, and then hummed thoughtfully. "Loser takes winner on a date?" he asked. He wasn't sure that counted— then again, there was really only one way a date could end, at this rate. So probably it did count.

Poe brightened, sitting up on one elbow and laying a hand over Finn's where it rested on his side. "Yeah! No, that's sweet, I like that idea. Much more classy. What kind of date? Maybe...maybe we could take a speeder out to that clearing where we were stargazing before, pitch a tent, and camp out? Loser is in charge of packing: tents, bedding, blankets, food, water—and flowers!" Poe laughed. "You _do_ know how to pitch a tent, right?"

Finn snorted and rolled his eyes.  "Of _course_ I know how to pitch a tent. But it won't matter, because you're going to be the one doing it," he said, not subtle at all in his taunting.  "I like it. Should we shake on it?" he asked.

Poe shook his head. "Always a kiss for sexy bets. That's tradition." He rather liked that Finn was so ignorant of relationships: he could make shit up like this and pass it off as fact, though he was pretty sure Finn could tell he was making this up by the smirk on his face. He pursed his lips, waiting.

"Oh, of course," Finn said, leaning down and giving Poe a long, deep kiss, one hand resting on the side of his neck and the other still stroking absently up and down Poe's ribs. When he finally pulled back, he grinned brightly. "How's that?"

"Seals the deal," Poe said, and smacked a kiss against his nose. "Now I need a cold ‘fresher and I am not going to let you distract me today. Until after the game you are my rival, and you better not try to use your seductive powers on me! They just won't work!" He flopped out of bed, rummaging for his fatigues, still laughing, thinking to himself _Oh, if only_...

"But I don't even have to _try_!" Finn whined, doing his best to sound very melodramatic.  He watched Poe dig around for his fatigues, but didn't go after him—if he started anything, they were both going to be at a disadvantage later. Still... "Can we at least have breakfast together?" he asked, raising his voice so Poe could hear him over the water.

"Of course! How else am I going to slip those laxatives in your—just kidding!" Poe poked his head out of the refresher. "I'm kidding. Yes, we'll have breakfast together." He ducked back in to shave his face, but after taking care of his neckbeard decided to leave the bit of stubble, since he thought Finn liked it. Poe had gotten a full-body wax the day before, which he could _say_ was for the game (he felt _faster_ like this) but was also, well, just because, no reason. Like definitely maybe not anything to do with living in eternal hope in regards to when he'd get lucky.

While Poe was in the refresher, Finn managed to shuffle out of bed and to the closet for clothes, yawning the whole way.  He was dressed and fully awake, though, by the time Poe stepped out of the refresher. "Borrowed one of your shirts," he informed him innocently.  It was only fair, given that Poe hadn't quite shaved all of the scruff off his face.

"Suits you," Poe answered, grinning as he took in the sight. "I mean—shit," he said, and laughed. "Stop being so hot. I hope Snap has found the practice jerseys, and I hope your team is in an ugly color. Breakfast?" he asked, standing up after he pulled on his track shoes. "I think the cooks are making something special for us."

Finn chuckled, reaching over as Poe walked by him and brushing the back of his fingers along his scratchy stubble. "Speak for yourself," he said, reaching for his own track shoes and pulling them on.  "Oh yeah? What are they making?" he asked. "I didn't know this was going to become quite as big a deal as it has..."

Poe smirked, delighted by the touch, and he moved his head just fast enough to brush his lips against Finn's knuckles. "I heard scrambled eggs, sausage, and pancakes—real eggs, not those powdered things we normally get." Poe waved a hand. Even powdered eggs were better than what Finn grew up eating, he guessed. "Anyway, it'll be good. All non-essential personnel will be out to watch the pilots kick ass," he said as they made their way to breakfast.

"Woop woop!" Jess laughed, coming up behind them. "You boys going my way?"

"Lookin’ for some chow, yeah," Poe said, giving her the high-five her hand was currently demanding.

"Man, I am so pumped!" she cried, growling and flexing her muscles. "You're goin' DOWN, Finnegan!"

"Hey, hey, only I'm allowed to nickname him. He may be the enemy today but he's still my boyfriend," Poe said.

Finn laughed at Jess's enthusiasm, jostling her shoulder when she stuck her tongue out at Poe and then elbowed him.  "Hmmm, I think you might be underestimating us," he told her, "Besides, I can take down your captain just by making faces at him. Want to see?" he asked, and turned to Poe, smiling gently and looking him in the eyes before glancing to his mouth, as if he was strongly considering kissing him.

"Oh no, no, no you don't!" Poe said, though his eyes were definitely locked in place by Finn's. "Shit. Th-that's not— _fair_ —" he said, lunging in for the kiss.

"You two are disgusting," Jess laughed, pushing them into the mess hall.

The place was louder than usual, humming with excitement. A small cheer went up as they entered, forcibly shoved through the door with their lips locked. "Damn you and your sorcerous eyes," Poe grumbled, straightening his shirt.

Finn tugged the back of Poe's shirt to settle it back where it belonged, and bumped his shoulder as the soldiers on one side of the room waved at him. The pilots were waving to Poe from the other side, and there was a contingent right in the middle that seemed to be primarily spectators, with a few pilots and soldiers thrown in just for fun. "Sorry, sorry, I won't do that during the game.  Anyway, I'd be removing myself as well, and that's hardly helpful for my own team," he told Poe softly, bending to whisper it in his ear. As he was straightening, Reist bounded it up, carrying a jersey.

"Alright, alright, kiss later, strategy now," they said, grabbing Finn and hauling him off toward the rest of the team.

Poe laughed, staring as Finn was pulled away from him into the sea of soldiers, and he was drawn among his pilots. It took him only a few minutes (okay, all of breakfast) to stop trying to catch a glimpse of his boyfriend, but once Karé tugged sharply on his hair he was focused: "Ow! All right, all right," he grumbled. "I'm here. I brought the warm-up mix, so we can start getting pumped, wake the crowd up a bit. We meet on the field by ten-hundred?" Snap passed him a jersey, and he tugged it over his shirt. "Snap, we'll start you off in the—uh—snap position," he paused for chuckles (that joke never got old), Jess and Iolo, flankers, I'm in front of Snap."

"Okay, so long as you're _blocking_ and not _groping_ ," Iolo commented.

"Hey, if I get to any groping it means we've got a sack, I think Finn's playing snap position.”

“ Only stormtrooper to ever have good aim, I swear..."

They laughed and continued planning in hushed tones, Poe drawing plays out with bottle caps and breakfast.

Finn let Torch, their most experienced player, handle strategy— his job was fairly straightforward.  He did help outline a few plays, using his knowledge of his own soldiers and strategy in general to improve upon what Torch came up with. They headed over to the field before the pilots, running a few of the more complicated plays as warm-up in front of the small crowd that was already gathering.

“Hey, Finn, you should probably take your bracelet off,” Coni pointed out, as she took out her earrings. “Things can get pulled or caught,” she explained, as Finn clutched at the bracelet Poe had made for him, and which hadn’t left his body since Poe had given it to him. “It’s for safety? I’ll hold onto it for you. Put it with my earrings.”

Finn frowned, but eventually saw the sense in it, and handed it to her with a grateful nod.

It was a good thing the soldiers got their practice in before the pilots arrived, blaring their own music and bejerseyed in the bright orange of their flight suits. It was an impressive entrance, and drew the applause of the crowd, since it included a surprisingly well-choreographed dance routine.

 _Starships were meant to fly  
_ _Hands up, and touch the sky  
_ _Can't stop, 'cause we're so high  
_ _Let's do this one more time..._

"Flyboys. All show," the General whispered to an aide, even if it was a _good_ show. "You placed my bet last night?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"It's a good thing this isn't a dance-off," one of Finn's soldiers, Da'an, muttered as they ceased warming up and stood in a small group to watch the pilots make a spectacle of themselves. All of them laughed, and some of them shouted either encouragement or playful insults at the dance routine. Finn turned to look at Da'an and grinned at the younger man.  "It's certainly an interesting method of warming up..." he said, and herded the rest of his soldiers off the field so the pilots could, if they wanted, do some actual warming up.

Poe had put on their actual warmup song, which was more about getting he and his pilots pumped as well as limber, leading them in slightly suggestive dancing as well as some stretches. When they were done, he noticed with satisfaction some credits changing hands in the crowd.

"Alright, it's almost 1100, Poe," Snap said, and Poe jogged out to center field to meet Finn for the handshake. The Deck Officer, T'iall, was there to referee.

"That was impressive," Finn said, offering Poe his hand and grinning.  "Da'an said it's a good thing this isn't a dance-off. Ready to play?" he asked, glancing over at T'iall for confirmation that they could shake, flip a coin to choose goals, and start the game.

"Thanks," Poe said, shaking Finn's hand, trying and failing to maintain his calm when all he wanted to do was grin like a fool. "Ready to start this?" he asked the Twi'lek referee once he realized he had been holding Finn's hand just a few seconds too long.

T'iall nodded, pretending to ignore the hand holding. "The pilots will kick off first, the soldiers will receive." He had a nice loud announcing voice, and it was a calm day.

"Let's have a clean game, wait until I blow the whistle," Poe squared off against Torch as Finn stepped back, ready to receive the ball. He closed his eyes for a second, focusing. _Finn is all yours later,_ he reminded himself: _no reason to act like a lovestruck teenager! Focus_.

When he blinked, the game was on.

In spite of their utterly ridiculous warm-up, the pilots were no pushovers. They were as capable of teamwork as the soldiers, and Poe was much more experienced in strategy than Finn was. It was a close game for the entire first half, with the teams matching each other goal for goal until the last two minutes. Then Finn got a penalty for being offsides ("I don't even understand what offsides _is_!" he'd protested, but T'iall wasn't swayed) and the ball was turned over to the pilots, who subsequently scored just as the whistle blew.

One could only say "Don't get cocky," so many times during a celebratory halftime at which point the pilots were ahead by three goals before one looked like the old man in the group, and it didn't help that Poe was _feeling_ it. When they started up after a ten minute break, he was still tired, but soldiered on.

They switched sides of the field, and he rotated out a few positions and players so everyone got a chance to play.

In the third quarter, the soldiers were suddenly ahead 9 points.

"Oh stars, do you know how _rich_ Torch is gonna be if we don't rack up some points?" Poe hissed in a brief huddle. "Okay, we're going to fake a hail mary—Karé and Iolo, get out there—and I am going to just run like hell. If I get into trouble, Jess, this is going to you. Break."

It _did_ work, more or less, as Poe and Jess ran side by side pell-mell down the field, dodging like they were untouchable. At one point Poe was pretty sure she jumped _over_ someone. At the goal line they were met with resistance, and Poe barely managed to tip the ball to her as he ended up under a scrum of six burly assholes when really only like, two, max, were needed. He realized Jess had scored only once he had been dug out from under the pile.

"Okay, okay, get off my boyfriend— _really_ , guys?" Finn asked all six of his soldiers who had participated in ‘dog pile on Poe Dameron maneuver.’  They didn't even have the grace to pretend to be sorry about it, smiling cheeky smiles as they backed off, walking past Finn with a couple good-natured shoves and punches to the shoulder.

"Jealous, boss?" tiny little Coni asked, and Finn looked down at her.

"First of all, how are you not flattened, and second of all, that's for me to know and you to never find out," Finn told her, and she bounced on her toes.

"I was last, sir.  It was for effect, really," she chirped at him, and bounded off after Da'an and Reist, who were both waiting for her.

"Did I mention I'm the best pilot in the Resistance?" Poe said dazedly as Finn helped him to his feet. "I'm _valuable_ ," he said as he rubbed his shoulder and walked with a decided limp. There would definitely be bruises tomorrow.

"Okay, now that it's no longer embarrassing, let's find that lead again, shall we?" Poe said as he hobbled back to his own team.

They put up a valiant effort, but even switching out a few tired players (even Poe sat out three minutes before he couldn't stand being on the sidelines), the infantry was (and this was a good thing for the resistance) simply full of the better athletes. And Poe started getting distracted by Finn, although frankly _everyone_ was:

"Are we _sure_ he's never played before?"

"Why is he telling them to keep going? He can't possibly throw that far!"

"Holy kriff! He _can_ actually throw that far!"

"How many people does it take to bring him _down_?"

"Well, only one, if you're me," Poe had gasped, and _someone_ hit him really hard in the next scrum.

The whistle blew, anticlimactically, with both sides grunting and slobbering at each other midfield. The score was Infantry: 22 to Pilots: 17.

A split second after the whistle blew, Finn was buried in a dog pile of soldiers to rival the one that had buried Poe— only the soldiers weren't actively trying to bury him.  There was an excess of cheering and hollering and punching each other while everyone laughed. Finn, once he extricated himself from his soldiers, looked around for Poe and the pilots, who were watching the celebration with various rueful expressions.

"Hey, good game," Finn said, walking up to Poe, followed by first a few of his players, and then all of them.  There were handshakes all around, and no apparently hard feelings, even if his soldiers were currently having some fun at the pilots' expense.

"Yeah, well, you know how it goes," Poe said, shrugging. "At least now I can do this," he said, and with his last ounce of strength he swept Finn into a hard kiss, locking an arm behind his head as he bent Finn over backwards to do it.

Everyone cheered louder, if that was possible.

"Hey, hey, I have the chore helmet!" cried Coni, jumping up and down excitedly.

"No, no. I need beer before we do that," Poe said, and after everyone shook hands and congratulated the winners and the crowd dispersed, the losing team stayed behind to pack up jerseys, trash, and goal posts.

"Good game, everyone," T'iall told them.

"Don't humor us, man," Snap complained.

"Still a good game. I heard the big pot was for a 9-point lead, and you avoided that," he pointed out, looking on the bright side and grinning like an asshole.


	13. Chapter 13

By the time the pilots made it over to the mess hall, the soldiers had mostly all been through one pint and were working on their second. The exception was Finn, who had decided that as their leader, he would be responsible for preventing any serious shenanigans from ensuing.  Also, he'd been thinking about the camping trip later on, and he had a... request that he knew Poe wouldn't take at face value if he wasn't sober when he made it, which, fair enough.

"Hurry up, Poe, come on!" Snap said, as they rushed to the mess hall without stopping to change, which Poe kind of wanted to do, but everyone else was sweaty and disgusting so he supposed he couldn't care much.

Poe's ankle was misbehaving, but he was bruised probably everywhere and he dreaded waking up tomorrow, so he paid it no mind. "Okay, okay, I'm coming," he said, evening out his gait. A smile bloomed on his face, however, all pain forgotten, as they entered the mess and saw the soldiers celebrating. It was hard to be mad that they had lost, and he soon inserted himself at Finn's side, slapping his credit stick on the counter. "All drinks on me," he declared, to the cheers of everyone, including the pilots.

Poe sniffed at Finn's shirt. "Mm, you found time to get in the ‘fresher, didn't you?"

Finn put his arm around Poe's shoulders and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then smiled a little shyly. "Maaaaybe?" he asked, although the answer was most definitely yes. He was pretty sure most of the soldiers had, though some had definitely high-tailed it over here instead. Coni had been here when Finn arrived, and she had given him his bracelet back, so he was now wearing it. "That was the unspoken part of the bet— winners get ‘freshers," he said.

Poe snorted, leaning in to kiss Finn's neck. "I'm sure you'll want me to wash at some point tonight. Like maybe when I go get our camping trip set up." He grinned and nuzzled Finn's cheek until he was suddenly being hauled away.

"The chores! The chore helmet!" people were screaming, and a beer was pressed into his hand, a helmet— _his_ helmet—in the other. Apparently they were drawing the soldiers chores out of his own black helmet.

"All right, all right, pipe down!" he said, standing on a chair. "Okay, so make sure you see Snap by the end of the night if you put actual money on this thing, and to add insult to injury, I need all the pilots to line up in front of me." Much groaning. "Come on, guys. It's only fair."

"You first, fearless leader!" someone shouted, and he rolled his eyes. "Someone hold my beer," he said, handing it off to Finn, who had put a hand on the small of his back as if he needed steadying, and drawing out a slip of synth-paper.

"Son of a—" he said, and everyone laughed. He handed it to Finn, unable to speak it, and took his beer back.

Finn read the slip of synth-paper and laughed so hard that he nearly fell over.  "You're on sanitation duty starting on Tuesday," he finally managed, "You're cleaning bathrooms!" To the rest of the assembled soldiers and pilots, this probably seemed like amusement out of proportion— but there was something hilarious and actually kind of wonderful about Poe getting assigned the same sort of duty Finn had once had.  "Don't worry, I know all the tricks," he said in Poe's ear.

Poe gave Finn a sideways smile, and bent down to kiss him.

"All _right_ , Commander, let's get this over with," Karé said, first in line. It was, Poe admitted, a hilarious reversal: the pilots _were_ spoiled with cushier duties and better hours (their jobs required greater training and their life expectancy was lower, was the tradeoff he always thought was the case), but it still was funny to see people whose ‘worst’ duty was waxing their X-Wing (like him), and who were now staring kitchen duty and mopping and medical rotations in the face.

Once all the duties were assigned, they drank their sorrows away and endured the teasing of the soldiers, though as the evening progressed it mostly devolved into drunken singing.

It was difficult to tell who was more drunk, and why—the pilots, because they'd lost, or the soldiers, because they'd won. Finn, still annoyingly sober (for good reason, he kept reminding himself) stopped two different arm-wrestling matches that threatened to result in accidentally overturned tables, and pretended not to notice when pairs started sneaking off to do Force knew what.

Poe excused himself once the singing seemed to be quieting things down. Once you got soldiers of any branch together drunk and singing old ballads, you knew that nothing was going to get raucous. Someone might still be drinking at 8am, but likely everyone would get home safe. He stood up, wrapping Finn into a hug from behind. "I'm gonna go get camp set up. Give me—an hour—and then BB-8 can tell you where to meet me." He kissed his temple and nodded at Jess, whom he could trust watching the festivities a little longer.

Poe strolled casually out of the room, and then hurried the rest of the way to their rooms: he washed in record time, _left_ the stubble in place because that definitely did something; he packed extra clothes and toiletries, including lube _just in case_ , he wasn't _expecting_ anything (this was Finn's night, after all!) and a few other necessities; tent, blankets, breakfast; and the rest was candles and fairy lights, chocolate (he'd paid dearly for that) (shit, he'd left his credit stick at the bar—no time to go back for it). Poe gave Bee the coordinates for the clearing, in case Finn didn't remember.

"No, buddy, of course you can come," Poe said to BB-8's sad hoots as they wandered around his ankles. "Yeah, well, we _might_ , but that's not the point. Need you to keep guard and play sweet music for me, huh?" He winked. "Tell Finn to grab my credit stick if he can manage it, yeah? How long have I got?"

[23 standard minutes.]

"Shit. Stall him, okay? I need at least 20 minutes when I _get_ there. Thanks, bud."

Poe broke the speeder laws they didn't have to get to the clearing and set up the tent, first, then the bed, second, then the lights hanging over the top of the tent and candles without. The pilot was already quite sore, and popped a few painkillers, because no way was _he_ going to complain of a headache tonight. He spent the last few minutes arranging everything so it was perfect. It would be better when BB-8 was here playing music, he decided, and sat down to watch the stars, and wait.

By the time BB-8 came to find him, Finn was more than ready to go.  He retrieved Poe's credit stick, nodded to Jess, and followed the softly beeping droid out to a speeder. He still hated them, but it was the only way to get to Poe before sunrise, so he'd deal with it.

When he arrived, Poe was sitting and watching the stars. BB-8 hung back, but when he paused to wait for them, they bumped him in the ankles, clearly meaning him to go without them.  Finn looked around in amazement at what Poe had accomplished in so little time, and went straight over, dropping to sit next to him with only a minimum of pained groaning over sore muscles and bruises.  "This is... it's amazing," he said softly, leaning over and wrapping Poe in a tight hug.

Poe turned, arms going around Finn, who was warm and his heart was pounding slightly too fast, and kissed his cheek. "Perfect timing," he said. "Didn't pull you away from the fun, did I?"

"Nah. You can only hear the same song so many times before it becomes repetitive," Finn answered, content to remain holding on to Poe for the time being.  "How did you do this so quickly?" he asked, nuzzling at Poe's cheek before sighing and resting his forehead against his temple.

Poe shrugged. "This?" He waved a hand dismissively. "The good parts had you as inspiration; if I screwed up anything, then I’ll say I didn’t have enough time." He pulled back enough to take Finn's hands, kissing them. "You were amazing, today, Finn, just amazing. Everyone was impressed. I was—I thought, there's not a more beautiful, amazing, talented, driven leader in all of the Resistance. You only beat out the General because you're prettier than her." He thought about this, and had to cheapen the moment: "Keep in mind if she were twenty years younger...even fifteen, really…"

“Poe,” Finn said, pretending to be annoyed by the teasing though he blushed at the compliments, burying his face in his and Poe's clasped hands. " _You're_ beautiful and talented!" he answered, not willing to let Poe get away without knowing how wonderful he was. " _Look_ at all of this!" he repeated, and caught Poe in another kiss.

Poe let the kiss linger, taking his time, hands wandering over Finn's back and pulling Finn into his lap. "Inspired by you," he gasped, when they parted for air, and he smirked, turning back to camp and letting Finn take in the quaint arrangement, open and inviting and twinkling with small points of light. Poe touched Finn's hair, to bring his eyes back to him. "You're my stars, remember?"

Finn looked around the camp, then back at Poe when he spoke. For a moment, his eyebrows raised and drew together in a thoughtful frown, as if trying to process what Poe had just said all over again, like he had the first time. Then, without a word, he threw his arms around Poe's neck and rested his chin on his shoulder, hugging him for all he was worth. "Can we dance?" he asked, still hugging Poe to him. He needed to _move_ , to do something with all these overwhelming emotions before his brain short-circuited, or whatever happened when people felt too much at once.

Poe laughed, pleased by the display of affection. "Anything for my champion," he said, getting up with a wince and another laugh. " _Ooh_ , aren't you tired? Or is that just me?" Still, he slotted himself next to Finn, taking the leading position. "Bee, some music, please?"

"A little tired, but I meant the easy sort of dancing," he said, doing his best to let Poe lean on him, even though he was leading. "And we needn't dance long," he said softly as BB-8 played a slow song. He hummed along without thinking, voice low and slightly off-key.

"Aw, here I was ready to bust some moves and impress the hell out of you. I have to recover my bruised ego," he teased, but was glad to tuck his nose against Finn's neck and just shuffle them around in front of the tent, his palm flat on the small of Finn's back as they threaded their fingers together with the other hand. Poe could have melted listening to Finn's humming: like everything, Finn picked up the tunes fast, and soon Poe was humming with him. Everything about this was intoxicating and relaxing and thrilling all at once: the way Finn smelled up close, how warm his skin was, how rough his hands were, but how soft his neck was, how he moved with such fluidity and focus even though Poe was leading, the little huff of breath he let out when he missed a note in his humming, the damned one inch Finn had on him that made him the perfect height to dance with (even if he was trying to lead). _Force_ , but Poe could have stayed like that forever. The breeze was cool enough to draw them closer together but not cold enough to be uncomfortable (or blow out the candles), and though the jungle made its jungly noises, everything around them was still. With the fairy lights, Poe felt almost as if they were dancing among the stars.

He lost track of how many songs BB-8 played before he even got around to kissing Finn's neck, which had been in front of his nose the entire time. Poe realized with a start that he wasn't _turned on_ : he was in kriffing _love_.

Finn smiled, his humming faltering for a moment when Poe kissed his neck, soft and sweet and every bit as full of feeling as their more passionate kisses had been—but in a different way. That feeling was like hurtling skyward in a starship, always a little terrifying even if it was thrilling, and always just barely under control. But this, this was something solid, something that ran deep and steady. He would have liked to keep dancing, but he was _tired_ , and he wasn't going to be very good for leaning on for much longer. "Are you about to fall over?  I'm...kind of about to fall over," Finn said softly.

Poe pulled back with a smile. "For you, darling, I could fly without wings right now," he said, and kissed Finn, closing his eyes, before leading them to the tent. "I brought some chocolate. And I thought we'd both had enough tonight but I _did_ bring wine. Also lots of water, because I am sure I sweat my weight out there today." He settled them, knee to knee, at the mouth of the tent which offered some shelter from the breeze, and got out his wares: he had little snack foods, too, crackers and cheese and some dried meat and grapes. "What a victory, man. I have to clean _latrines_ and it was still a pleasure to watch you guys play." He chuckled to himself, popping a grape in his mouth.

"It was a really good game, although I don't know what possessed my team to tackle you quite so hard. Are you sure you're alright?" Finn asked, opening a bottle of water and passing it over to Poe. He took a grape and tossed it up, trying to catch it in his mouth. Predictably, it bounced off his face and into his lap.

Poe laughed, stealing the grape from Finn's lap to hold it to his lips. "Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing that won't bruise and be gone in a few days. Believe me, I've done things I’ve enjoyed a lot less while hurting a lot worse." He grinned, but Finn's brow knit. "Okay, sorry, that was supposed to make it sound better," he said with a sigh. He had to stop doing that. "I feel better with you here, of course," he tried. "And—and you could always take off all my clothes and check." He grinned playfully, and Finn laughed, so it worked. He offered another grape.

"I could, later. Or sooner, but we have all night out here," Finn answered, leaning forward to eat the grape from Poe's fingers. "And I love you, but—I’m not sure after today that I can uh...carry on all night?" he said, trying to be subtle.

Poe snorted. " _Finn_. I'm pretty sure at my age I'm physically incap—wait, wait, 'carry on all night'? What does that mean? What do you mean, carry on all night? Carry on with what?" he demanded, perhaps a little panicky. Oh, force, did he sound too desperate? Too pushy? Maybe Finn didn't mean it like that. Stop thinking with your cock, Dameron. "You mean kissing? Me feeding you grapes? I could do _this_ all night, let me tell you..." He was definitely blushing. Shit.

Finn couldn't help it—he laughed at the mix of panic and confusion and excitement and whatever else was going on on Poe's face. But it was a fond laugh, and once he'd trailed off, Finn leaned over and hugged him. "First of all, calm down," he said in his ear, "Second of all, we have never, ever carried on all night kissing or feeding each other grapes," he added. Then he sat back, looking down at his crossed ankles maybe a little anxiously. "And I'm happy doing those things, but I also..." he trailed off, not sure how to say this without sounding desperate or creepy.

Poe melted in Finn's embrace, taking in a shaky breath. "Please. Anything, Finn. I don't want to pressure you or rush you. Just tell me what you want," he begged. "I love you. You matter to me more than anything. Please don't let me screw this up."

"How—why do you think _you're_ going to screw this up? That is _never_ going to happen. I love you. I want to...you know, make love. With you. Preferably sometime between now and sunrise," Finn said, growing quieter as he spoke, feeling ridiculous.

Poe was going to die. His heart was going to burst and he was going to die, it was as simple as that, and he clutched at his heart, being anything but dramatic. "Finn," he said, eyes misting. Had he really just said _make love_?? Where had Finn even heard that? Not that Poe particularly wanted to hear Finn asking for a 'fuck' but—maybe he _had_ been reading, after all. "Oh, Finn." His mouth was suddenly very dry, his heart thumping a tattoo on the front of his chest. "Nothing would make me happier than making love to you—with you—tonight," he said, his voice hoarse and uneven. He smiled, and when Finn smiled back, he went in for a kiss, and though it was slow and gentle he could feel Finn's pulse jumping. He huffed, taking Finn's hand and laying it over his heart: "Feel mine, see? Stars and skies, Finn, I'm shaking," he laughed, interrupting his next attempt at a kiss.

Finn smiled as his hand rested over Poe's heart, feeling his pulse thrumming through his palm. This was something he would never get tired of—being able to reach out and feel Poe's heartbeat, or resting his head on his chest to listen to it as he fell asleep. "You are shaking!" he said, a little amazed. This was Poe, and he'd never hidden how many people he'd been with in the past from Finn, so Finn knew he had plenty of experience with situations like this. It was part of what made him a little nervous. Unless...unless it was possible Poe hadn't really been in this exact situation? "I'm shaking too," Finn commented, feeling the fine tremor in his hand that rested against Poe's chest. "Why are we both shaking?" he laughed, looking up to meet Poe's eyes.

"Don't laugh," Poe said, but he was laughing, infecting Finn with the giggles. "No, stop, I mean it. I think it's because—" he coughed, trying to be serious: "it's because I've never been so in love with anyone like I'm in love with you. I know that sounds cheesy, don't—" but they were laughing again. "Okay, and understand the _pressure_ that's on me, Finn!" he said, raising his voice as Finn collapsed backwards, cackling. "This is your first— _first_ time, and for some fool reason you've chosen _me_ , and if I'm the lucky guy who gets to do this with you, then I want to—haha, pay attention, Finn—I want you to feel like you're flying. Or—or whatever it is normal people feel like when they have really good sex. Look, never mind, roll over," he said, guffawing as Finn still shook with laughter. "Gonna give you your victory massage first."

"I get a victory massage?" Finn asked, still chuckling as he lay on his back and looked up at Poe from where he'd fallen over. He rolled over onto his stomach at such an angle that he could see Poe and grinned.  "Of course I chose _you_ , why would I choose anyone _but_ you?" he reached up with one hand and patted Poe's knee. "You just let me know if I can do anything about all that horrible pressure you're under to be amazing—" he laughed, and since he was on his belly on the ground, this was somehow ten times more amusing than it should have been. "Which— _which_ , mind you—Force, _why_?" he laughed, propping himself up on his elbows until he could stop cackling, "—you don't even have to try hard to do, because it's just who you are. Poe Dameron, best pilot in the resistance, sticker of Y-Wings in trees—thought I'd forgotten that?—amazing boyfriend," he finished, still laughing. "You stuck a Y-wing in a tree." He lowered himself back to the ground and finally managed to get his laughter under control, somewhat.

Poe flushed, his eyes crinkling with his smile. "You see, I screw up all the time!" He pointed out in his defense, and kissed Finn. "Yes, you get a victory massage, of course you do. Let's get more inside the tent—and more naked," he suggested with a grin. "Bee, can we have some power? I think you can turn the music down a bit, too, bud. Thanks. " With BB-8 nearby, Poe could plug in the electric blankets he had brought, which made it much more comfortable to be nude. Poe did most of the undressing of Finn, who was still mostly on his stomach, but he didn't mind, and his fingers brushed his scar gently and reverently. "You know I like this. I mean, I hate it, it makes me sick to think of the pain it caused you, but. Reminds me how I almost lost you before I even had you, and reminds me to appreciate you. Everything you've done for us, for the Resistance, for BB-8, for Rey. For me." He bent down to kiss along the scar, where he knew it was sensitive but not painful.

Finn twitched, just a little, not even a full flinch, when Poe's fingers brushed the scar, and again when he kissed along it. "It still feels weird. Not bad weird, just... like when you're sick and you can feel every little thing on your skin?  Like that," he explained, not wanting Poe to think it bothered him when he touched the scar. "Or a sunburn. But without the burning part, just the sensitive part. I think the nerves are kind of not right." He looked up at Poe and smiled. "I'd do all of it again, you know. Wouldn't even have to think about it.  I'd maybe rescue you sooner, though..."

"Sorry," Poe said, running his fingernails in light circles around the area instead, since he knew Finn liked that. He smiled at that last bit, and was glad Finn couldn't see how tight his smile was. "You rescued me _just_ in time," he said aloud, dropping to kiss the back of Finn's neck, scratching his back and shoulders and arms. "Anything particularly sore you want me to focus on?"

"No, just— you know, from the game. You're probably sore the exact same places I am." He thought for a minute.  "I could rub your back for you. Probably not as good as you are, but— I’d love to, if you want me to," he said.  The light scratching was making him a bit drowsy.  "I like making you happy— making you feel good," he admitted, sounding a little dazed.

Poe smiled. "I'd love that, yeah. When I'm done with you we'll switch." Finn sounded loose and his speech slurred slightly. "I like it when we make each other feel good," he agreed, beginning to rub his arms and shoulders, working quickly down to his legs, where Poe knew he was most sore. "Here, gonna stretch your legs out," he said, bending them at the knee and pressing down until Finn made a noise, and easing off slightly he held the stretch there, before resting Finn's feet against his chest and rubbing his calves and— "And I'm not rubbing your feet because I like my teeth where they are, thanks," he laughed.

"I like your teeth where they are too," Finn agreed, shifting just slightly as Poe found the knots in his calves.  "I... probably should have stretched better, clearly," he said, voice a little strained as he felt the muscles in his legs resist the pressure from Poe's hands, only to twitch slightly and relax after several moments. "Your legs hurt too?" he asked, beginning to keep a mental list of where he could focus when it was his turn to do this for Poe.

“Hey, soreness happens even if you stretch. You can massage me _anywhere_ , I am easy," Poe said, kissing Finn's foot because he liked to live dangerously. Finn's foot twitched, but he did not kick Poe in the face, which was good.  "Just avoid the obvious bruises from the _animals_ you like to call soldiers." He snorted.

"I still have no idea why they did that," he said, a little aggrieved.  "They definitely made those plans without me," he added, and then laughed softly. "Maybe they were jealous they don't get to be close to you all the time, and that was how they decided to deal with the problem."

Poe cackled, pushing Finn's legs apart and down on either side of him so he could slide on top of him, against his back, skin to skin, a tease for what was to come (though he was still debating positions in his head, thus the stalling). "Was that a compliment or jealousy?" he wondered, nuzzling against the back of Finn's neck and shivering at their closeness.

"Both," Finn hummed, "And I was maybe a little concerned they would smoosh you," he added, huffing as a shiver ran all the way down his spine at the tickle of Poe's breath on the back of his neck. "Coni jumping on top of the pile was... completely unnecessary." He'd give her extra push-ups or something at the next training session (except probably not, because technically no rules had been broken).

Poe kissed a line across his shoulders. "Forget about those guys. Though I _am_ flattered you're so protective of me," he said, sliding his teeth up Finn's spine. "Want me to do your front? I suppose I'll have to get up."

Finn sighed softly and then nodded, arching his spine up toward Poe's teeth.  "Yeah, please, er—if you don't mind?" he said softly, reaching for one of Poe's hands and squeezing it.

Poe chuckled. "I'll laugh if you fall asleep," he said, getting up on hands and knees to let Finn turn under him. "Warm enough?" he asked, and as before be began with gentle scratches (he was growing his nails longer, knowing how much Finn liked this) up and down his arms before beginning to knead his muscles. And if Poe ground their hips together a few times while he worked, it was purely accidental, and he bit his lip innocently, though his eyes were smirking. "Oops?" he said, and giggled, as they were both clearly dealing with something more than a background level of arousal.

Finn narrowed his eyes at Poe and then laughed. He stretched casually, arms above his head, and then reached to rest a hand on the back of Poe's neck. If they went down this road, everything was going to speed up, and he wasn't quite ready to let go of the sweet, slow kisses and gentle touches. He pulled Poe toward him and reached up to kiss him deeply, smiling as he did it and letting his eyes drop shut for just a few breaths.

Poe winked and gave him the kiss, working his way down Finn's legs, rubbing and squeezing his thighs and touching him until he no longer flinched when Poe slid his legs apart. He wanted Finn relaxed and comfortable with all of this, even with the breeze over his balls.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop being naughty—for now! My turn?" Poe said.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally score.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of having 69 comments on this story, because I'm immature and find that funny, have the last chapter early. Enjoy!

"Your turn," Finn agreed, grinning at Poe as he sat upright and they switched places. "You have a lot of bruises," he said, frowning, when he got a better look at Poe's back.

"Oh, it's fine, just my delicate pilot’s constitution," Poe laughed, getting up on an elbow until Finn pushed him back down. "Hey, you better wipe that frown off your face or this won't be any fun. I promise I'm fine. Kiss me?"

"Not that I don't trust you, but I'm pretty sure you'd say you were fine if you had a major concussion and five broken ribs," Finn said, but leaned down to kiss Poe on the back of the neck and started gently rubbing his shoulders, fingers brushing lightly over the bruises instead of pressing.  "But I'll take your word for it, this time," he added after several breaths, leaning down to kiss between Poe's shoulder blades.

"Mmm," Poe groaned, letting his hands fall to his sides. "You could literally just kiss my back, I swear," he sighed, feeling like he was going to melt through to the planet core. "Don't even have to—work—hard. Losers don't get victory massages..." Okay, maybe he wasn't going to blame Finn for almost falling asleep on him.

"Just because you didn't win doesn't mean you lost," Finn commented, trailing a line of kisses down Poe's spine to his lower back, following with his hands There were fewer bruises in the middle of Poe's back, so he massaged the knots out of those muscles for a bit before moving to his legs, unable to resist giving his butt a brief squeeze on the way down. "Oops," he said, just as innocently as Poe had said it earlier, before earnestly starting to rub his legs.  "Would it help if I stretched your legs like you did for me?" he asked when he kept finding knots and bruises that made Poe flinch.

Poe was quite vocal in his appreciation of Finn's touches—all of them, the kisses, the hard and soft rubbing—even when it hurt and his whole body arched up, "Ohhh owww _yeahhh_ , right there," he said, and laughed as Finn made a grab at his ass (which was unbruised). He lifted his head, getting up on his elbows to turn around. "Yeah, yeah, that would feel ni— _aaaiii_!" he yelped, reclaiming his leg as soon as Finn grabbed his foot. "Ow, _shit_ ," he cursed, curling up to hold his ankle. "I think I got kicked there really hard, kriff, sorry, I should have warned you," he said, rocking a little. Indeed, there was already a huge bruise across the side of his foot, though it wasn't very dark so he didn't blame Finn for not seeing it.

Finn let go of Poe's foot like it burned, the concerned frown back on his face as he watched Poe hold his ankle. "You said you were fine," he growled, and finally, "Can I see?" From this angle, he couldn't tell if there was a shadow across Poe's foot, or if there really was a bruise that ran all the way down the side.

"Yeah, it's just bruised, I'm okay," Poe said, slowly straightening his leg so Finn could look at it, and he smiled, observing Finn's tenderness in handling him this time. "You're so good to me. Thank you." He brushed his knuckles against Finn's cheek, catching his eyes. "I love you, Finn."

“Hey, always, any time," Finn said in answer to Poe's thanks, resting his hand gently over the bruise and still frowning, although he smiled when he caught Poe's eyes.  "I love you too, Poe."  He ran his hand partway up Poe's leg and smiled crookedly. "Were you aware it's both swollen and warm to the touch?" he asked, setting his foot down gently and leaning up to kiss him. "Just so you know."

Poe grinned, making a noise of approval into the kiss. "Yeah, I—hmm?" he said. "I should have brought ice. If I had brought champagne like I wanted to instead of talking myself out of it..." He shrugged. "It'll be fine for one night. Especially since there are other parts of me that are also swollen and warm to the touch.” Poe giggled as Finn blushed and groaned at the terrible pun. He was up, suddenly, slinging one knee over Finn's waist so he straddled his lap and had better leverage to kiss him, holding Finn's face in his hands. "Gods, you're beautiful. And you're gentle and kind and—and at the same time scary as hell on the field." Poe giggled. "Which, I should mention, is a huge turn-on. What did I do to deserve you?"

"Mmmmm," Finn hummed, leaning into the kiss, one hand against Poe's lower back to keep him close. He traced his thumb back and forth over the dip of his spine and ridges of his muscles on either side. "Dunno, but we both must have pleased some god of fate or luck. Maybe the Force likes us," he said.

Poe tossed his head back and laughed, getting more comfortable on Finn's lap as he settled into kissing him again. He was gently guiding Finn's jaw with one hand, while the other wandered over his back, mapping muscles and scars and, finally, when Finn introduced his teeth a little more into the kiss he dug in and raked his nails across Finn's shoulders, drawing a gasp from both of them. He stopped, knitting his brow. "Was that okay?"

Finn laughed, resting his head against Poe's collar bone for a second.  "I wasn't expecting that," he answered. "It didn't _hurt_.  Do it again?" he asked, since he hadn't registered if it felt good or if it just surprised him. He pressed forward for another kiss, nipping very gently at Poe's lip to encourage him.

This time Poe tucked his arms under Finn's, and as they kissed he started from the tops of his shoulders and ran his fingernails down to his ass—avoiding the scar—varying the pressure until Finn hissed. "Too much?"

"A little, at the end there," Finn answered, arching his shoulders a little. "Felt good at the top, though," he added, shivering a little as he pressed back against the soft touch of Poe's hand on his back, where he'd stopped scratching the second Finn had winced.  "You're so gentle, and so careful of me," he said, "It makes everything much less—um—intimidating?  Not that you're intimidating—stop frowning!—just _life_ is.  Sometimes. What?  What'd I say? What is that face you're making?"

"I don't—I’m not frowning," Poe said, rubbing Finn's back gently. "I'm—I don't want you intimidated by me or anything, and I'm glad at everything I can do to make you less so," he said, kissing Finn's brow softly. "I just want you to feel good, so I'm gonna keep trying things. You—you tell me what feels good and what doesn't. I promise you won't hurt my feelings either way." He smiled invitingly, and kissed Finn on the lips again.

Finn smiled into the kiss, waiting until it ended before he spoke again. "Nothing about you will ever intimidate me," he told him, resuming the tracking of his thumb over Poe's spine. This time, he moved his whole hand, running his fingers and nails gently up and down Poe's ribs.  "Is _this_ ever weird and oversensitive?" he asked, just barely brushing his fingertips over the scar—smaller than his, but no less terrifying for everyone involved, he thought— from when Poe had been shot rescuing him.

Poe shrugged. "Uhh, no. I kinda like it." He grinned. "But I'm weird. I mean, I like everything, love your hands on me," he said, running his fingers through Finn's hair. "And that wasn't from a _fucking lightsaber to the spine_ , what I got was a _love bite_ compared to what happened to you." He kissed Finn again, more desperate this time.

"Well, okay, so the comparison isn't perfect," Finn said, shrugging one shoulder. "I guess the lightsaber might have done something to the nerves that a blaster wouldn't."  He grinned, tracing one of the tattoos across the front of Poe's ribs. "You're lucky their aim wasn't better—your tattoos might have been damaged!" As jokes went, it fell a little flat, and he wrinkled his nose, covering up for his bad joke by kissing Poe on the nose.

"Oh I would have been _pissed_ ," Poe said with a laugh. "It's bad enough they shot me, bad enough they were gonna sell you back to the fucking First Order, but they also ruined my favorite—" Poe had wrapped his arms around Finn's shoulders and squeezed like he never wanted to let him go. "Finn, you're shaking again," he said after a minute of just holding him. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Finn answered, huffing a short laugh. "I'm—well, I can't tell if I'm nervous or excited." It was kind of ridiculous, really, and he laughed again. "I'm just—why am I shaking?" he asked, shaking his head.

Poe kissed his cheeks. "Well, it may be because I'm about to make sweet love to you, which includes my cock in your ass, so that could be why." He squeezed Finn again, rubbing his back. "Hey, I have an idea, bud," he said. "What if we try things out the other way around. You go first: you inside me. I'll ride you, so I'll still, you know, lead. And it'll feel a bit more natural, maybe, for your first time." He nuzzled Finn gently. "Want you to feel good."

"I like that idea," Finn said, smiling. "I don't know why I'm worrying," he added. Well, he sort of did. "I'm kind of afraid it'll hurt," he admitted very quietly.  "But I still want to try it?" Which should have been weird, but honestly, it wouldn't have been the first weird thing about life since leaving the First Order and joining the Resistance and being with Poe. He could name probably five other things off the top of his head, which made him laugh. "Sorry, I was thinking," he explained.

"I know. You are sexy when you think," Poe said, cupping his face and kissing him again while he rolled their hips together, earning a gasp from them both. "It's okay to be worried, but I promise I'll take care of you. It can hurt, if you do it wrong. Sometimes it hurts even when you do it right—but then it's kind of a hurt that feels good, like stretching a sore muscle or working out really hard. Got it?" When Finn nodded, Poe slid off his lap to reach the lube. "You want to watch me get ready for you, or do you not want to look? It's okay either way." He smiled invitingly. "You could even help, if you wanted. And, Finn. We can still stop at any point if you change your mind or decide you're not ready."

Finn thought again, chewing a little at his lower lip. "I want to help, but I don't know what to do—to not hurt you," he said. It sounded like there was more potential to actually hurt Poe if he did something wrong, which made him about as nervous as worrying about being hurt himself.

"It's okay," Poe said, coating his fingers in lube. "I'll tell you just what to do, don't worry. Start with kissing me," he said, reaching back and beginning to stretch himself.

"Oh, well, if I must," Finn joked, leaning forward to give Poe a long, deep kiss, running the hand on his back all the way up to the nape of his neck and tugging softly at his hair.

Poe got himself started, wedging two fingers inside before he gasped, already too turned on by this. Stars, Finn tugging on his hair while his ass was just aching to get Finn inside it? "Mm, feels good," he moaned. "You feel so good. Don't want you to let go of my hair, but if you still want to help—" He slid back into Finn's lap, ignoring both of their obvious arousals, still kissing him. "The lube is right there. I'm _yours_ , Finn," he whispered, eyes glazing slightly. He knew he wasn't supposed to be losing himself this much, this was for _Finn_ , but everything was so overwhelmingly good about this.

Finn glanced over at the lube and then reached for it, covering his fingers one-handed (because he was talented) and distracting himself from being nervous by kissing Poe some more. "You going to tell me what to do, or just let me fumble around and make myself ridiculous?" he asked, laughing, brushing his fingers softly against Poe's hand.

"You're anything but ridiculous," Poe laughed. "Just explore, you have good instincts," he said, with a wink. "I mean, okay, the very unromantic mechanics of this are you're not going to fit without some preparation, and that involves lots of lube and fingers stretching me out, slowly, so it doesn’t hurt. So—just go for it. Just reach around, reach inside, you won't hurt me. Can already get—" he grunted "—two fingers in. We want at least three before we do anything else." Maybe four would be safer, but Poe liked it to hurt a little.

For some reason, the "unromantic mechanics," as Poe put them, made him less... well, worried, he supposed. He did as Poe had told him, using Poe's fingers as a guide, until he was pressing gently at his entrance. "Is that... Do I press harder?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Poe said, gasping and leaning closer. "Please. Feels—want you to see—oh stars, Finn, please." He realized he was whining slightly and coughed, getting a hold of himself. He was here. He had this. "Sorry, yes. Start with one finger, all the way in, move it around, and then try two?" He had both hands around Finn's shoulders now, clinging to him a little desperately.

"Like you did, right? For me?" Finn asked, holding Poe closer and pressing his finger inside of him, pausing when he had his finger in to the second digit. "Is that good? Further?" he asked, moving his finger just a little to see what effect it would have.

"As deep as you want to go," Poe said, making sure his voice was calm and collected even though he wanted to scream with pleasure. "You're focused on stretching the muscle there, so think wider instead of deeper, but deeper is OH MY STARS AND SKIES," he suddenly shouted, jerking in Finn's arms, all composure gone, all of it. "Do _that_ again," he begged, as a tingle of pleasure went from the back of his neck to the tip of his cock and he groaned, helpless. "Please _please_ just a little bit deeper touch me there again please oh please," he begged, his grip weakening, and when Finn obliged, massaging that bundle of nerves: "Holy shit," he said, letting his head fall back in bliss. "Th-that's good. Don't stop." He remembered having a mission, but his brain was too busy exploding in white hot pleasure to remember what it was. It had been a _really_ long time since anyone had done this to him.

"Feels good, huh?" Finn asked, laughing softly at the reaction he could get from Poe with just the slightest movement of his finger. Reassured that he wasn't accidentally hurting him, he gently added a second finger, pausing again and laughing a little helplessly at the look on Poe's face. He leaned forward and kissed his chin, still grinning at the sheer joy of being able to make Poe feel like this.

Poe was panting, like it was the boloball match all over again, a tightness and heat pooling in his belly and running like molten metal up his spine. "Sorry," he said, with a shaky laugh, blinking to bring himself back. "Feels _really_ good, stars." He took a deep breath. "More? Please, more. More fingers."

"Why're you apologizing? You're amazing. I love you," Finn said, massaging the same bundle of nerves that he'd touched just moments earlier. "You're amazing, and you keep making this face and—" he broke off, laughing, "—I’m not laughing at you, I swear," another chuckle, "It's just—I’m happy I can do this for you," he said, pressing gently to see if Poe was relaxed enough for a third finger, or if he was moving too fast.

Poe blushed, but he couldn't stop the faces any more than he could the noises. "Hey," he pouted, bracing himself on Finn's shoulders, his grin infectious. "You're the one with your— _hhnnggh_ —fingers in my ass—gods—it’s not my fault you're a kriffing sorcerer oh _Finn_ ," he moaned, worried for the first time that this might be over before they really started. "Feels so good you make me feel _so_ good."

Finn smiled, gently adding a third finger and then waiting for Poe to relax, moving his fingers just a little, slowly stretching Poe a little wider, as he'd told him to do earlier. "Want me to give you a second to catch your breath?" he asked softly, fingers stroking the back of Poe's neck.

Poe shook his head. "No, please don't stop. Just—just not so deep. Gods, you—" he laughed. "You sure you haven't done this before? You're really good. I love you." He grasped Finn's jaw and kissed him.

Finn blushed, smiling into the kiss and withdrawing his fingers just slightly. "I'm very sure—anyway, you're telling me what to do," he said. "I'm still afraid I'm going to hurt you," he admitted, "But I also kind of like it when you make that face," he added, laughing.  He liked the way Poe went all melty in his arms, too, and the little noises he kept making. "I love you so much," he said, resting his forehead against Poe's cheek for a moment and going quiet, listening to their combined breaths.

"Love you more," Poe breathed, kissing Finn languidly. Now that Finn had stopped abusing his poor neglected prostate and Poe could _think_ , if barely, he reached around to check himself. "Okay, you want to see a face, watch me try to take you," he laughed. "It's probably going to be very unsexy." He got up on his knees and looked down. "Oh you're _hard_ ," he giggled. "Like not just a little. And I barely touched you!'

"It's not my fault, you were making faces that caused that to happen!" Finn laughed, and then stopped and thought about it. "Okay, it was my fault.  But I have no regrets!" He hadn't actually noticed how aroused he was until Poe had mentioned it, but now that he had, he realized he was actually kind of—okay, really, _really—_ turned on by the ability to turn Poe on. "What do _I_ do?" he asked.

Poe was already grunting unattractively as he arranged them. "Lean back, put your hands on the ground. Let me do this, and don't move." He kissed Finn sweetly. "It will feel good and you will _want_ to move, but if you move too much too soon, you could hurt me." He took hold of Finn's cock, slicking him up before guiding him into himself. His breath came in short pants as he slid down his length. "Oh Finn," he groaned, overwhelmed.

Finn held very still, although it was somewhat of an effort. He couldn't quite stop a shiver that ran from the back of his neck, down his spine, and through his pelvis to his legs. "Sorry," he gasped, panting with the effort of not moving, holding himself still only by virtue of tensing almost every muscle in his body. For never having done this before, his body certainly seemed to know what it wanted. "Poe—hhngggh— _Maker_ —" he started, and gave Poe a very indignant look that dissolved into a giggle when he actually paid attention to Poe's face: "— _How_ am I supposed to _keep still_?" he squeaked, suppressing another shiver and letting his head fall back. 

"Just, just for—" Poe laughed, shivering, and he took Finn all the way until he was sitting square in his lap, and he whimpered, eyes closing. "Just let me get used to you. Then I want you to move." He laughed a little breathlessly as he opened his eyes and Finn had his face screwed up and he was sweating. "Then I'm gonna _need_ you to move. Kiss me until then?"

"Yeah I know—here I was making fun of you for faces..." Finn said, noting that Poe was definitely laughing. He leaned up to kiss Poe, definitely shaking a little again. "I—well, I guess I'm still a little nervous," he admitted with a shy smile in between kisses. "Thank you for—for going first," he added, catching Poe in another kiss.

Poe raised his eyebrows. "Wait til after you try it and then see if you're still grateful—or jealous," he laughed, forcing himself to relax before giving an experimental roll of his hips. Finn's eyes rolled back in his head and Poe huffed. "There we go. Okay, okay, move if you want to," he gasped, and gave Finn his best dazzling smile. "I know we're making love, but I really want you to _fuck_ me like—haha oh no I can't say it with a straight face!" He cackled, collapsing forward and hugging Finn around the neck. "I'm sorry I'm not usually this—giggly during sex, kriff, I'm sorry. Just—do whatever feels good." He brought Finn's hands up to hold onto his hips.

"Does this mean I'm going to have to start telling ridiculous jokes to make you laugh when we're having sex? I like it when you laugh," Finn said, "I'd tickle you, but that would get out of hand quickly," he added, his grip tightening briefly on Poe's hips before he made a small rolling movement with his own. They both gasped.  "You feel— you feel really good," Finn said, and rolled his hips again, this time with a slower, more exaggerated motion that caused his fingers to dig into Poe's waist, where they now rested, of their own accord.

Poe smiled. "Then I'll laugh." He gasped as they began to move together, Finn's cock somehow hitting all the right places inside him, like he had done this a thousand times. "Because I'd really rather you not tickle me," he chuckled, kissing Finn's lips and nose and cheeks as he moved, thighs beginning to burn from the effort. "You feel really good, too, Finn, I'm _flying_ now. Here, here, wait, move against me, not with me, we'll get a better—" and as their bodies slammed together with a slap, they both groaned together, and then laughed as one. "Oh, _fuck_ yeah, better." He was screwing his eyes shut now, clinging to Finn's shoulders, fingers scrabbling for a hold. "This okay for you?" He managed to remember to ask, opening one eye.

"More than okay," Finn answered, moving against Poe again.  He couldn't help it— "I'm sorry," he said, laughing helplessly, "It's just— that noise, it's—" he trailed off again, cackling.

"I am baring my soul to you here," Poe complained, playfully indignant. "I am _whimpering_ and you are laughing at me!" Biting his lip Poe swiveled his hips, and since that dragged a whimper out of Finn in turn, he laughed and did it again.

And then he froze.

"Oh fuck, wait," Poe hissed suddenly. "Oh, oh, fuck ow _ow_ oh!" His leg cramped and Poe wanted to fall over but he couldn't move. "Wait wait I'm serious ouch hang on my leg is—stuck."

Finn froze as soon as he realized something was wrong, reaching up for Poe when he looked ready to fall over. "Poe? What's wrong?" he asked, alarmed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine, leg cramp, leg cramp. Owww," he said, rubbing his thigh to try to work it out since he couldn't move. "Oh ow," he hissed. "Let's—just—easy, help me, no, no— _nnnoooo_!" Poe cried out as they tumbled to one side in a tangle so he could straighten his leg, and though it was far from a gentle landing, they were still joined. "Ouch. Sorry. Your penis isn't broken is it? That would be just my luck today."

"Is that even possible?" Finn asked, a little uncomfortable but not in pain. "Are _you_ okay? Did I hurt you?" he asked, reaching for Poe's leg and brushing his fingers along the still-quivering muscle that had cramped.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Poe said, a little breathlessly, and laughed again. "I'm _so_ sorry, that's never happened to me before!" He kissed Finn from this awkward tangle they were in. "Okay," he said, looking down at themselves. "I'm sorry, there's usually not much talking at this point. It sounds unromantic to ask you to pull out when I think I'm the one pinning you to the bed and—" Poe wriggled a little helplessly, which felt _good_ but couldn't be sustained. "Okay, hang on, this is fine, let me think about this..."

Finn continued stroking Poe's leg, giving him room and silence to think their way out of this. There was something beautifully and hilariously awkward about the position they were both in, Finn pretty well pinned to the ground by Poe, and neither of them sure how to proceed. "What if you—get off of me, and I can sit up? And we can try this again?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah, hang on, actually, no. I can't, I’m stuck!” he laughed. “Why today? Why me?” he asked. “I'll have to—" Poe said, and grabbed Finn around the middle, rolling him until he was on his back, and Finn was up on his knees, almost on top of him. "Okay, okay, good," he said. "Okay, _now_ you pull out and I'll—" Poe clapped a hand over his mouth when an unexpected whine escaped as they uncoupled. "Fuck," he said, scrambling to his knees again. "Fuck, that was the single worst idea I have ever had, _get back in me_ ," he demanded, clambering back on Finn's lap and sliding down onto him without any care for making this look anything but desperate. "Okay," he said, finally, when they were settled. "I'm a disaster, I'm sorry. I'm trying to get us killed, apparently. Kiss me."

"You're a beautiful disaster," Finn said, half-agreeing, but fondly. "Calm down for a minute," he said soothingly, pulling Poe close and kissing him, running his fingers softly up and down Poe's ribs.

Poe breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm _usually_ better than this. I mean—I don't know what it is you do to me, but I can't—it’s like I've never done this before, either," he admitted, and though he meant to sound ashamed, he sounded almost grateful: "Like it's my first time, too." He hugged Finn close, burying his face against his neck as Poe slowly let Finn's touches and his heartbeat (and well okay his cock helped, too) soothe him, and he pulled back to give Finn another kiss.

"Good now?" Finn asked after they'd kissed several times, grinning wickedly and rolling his hips.

"Sorry. I love you. I love you. Good now—" He gave a moaning gasp when Finn rocked his hips up into him, reminding him why he was here. "Really good now," he said with a grin.

"Good. We're both good," Finn said, relaxing when he realized the world hadn't ended. They'd collectively made a mistake, and...and it was okay. They didn't ruing everything and they didn't have to stop. "Shall we continue, then?" he asked, resuming his earlier position, hands on Poe's hips to steady him.

"Y-yeah, definitely. You feel really good, Finn. I thought I was going to die when you pulled out," he laughed. "Like _literally_ die." He began to move again, desperate to get back to where they were, for their mutual pleasure, and he kissed him again like a starving man.

Finn made a noise in the back of his throat when Poe started moving again—his efforts put Finn's novice attempts to shame— and after several tries, managed to find the rhythm they'd had, where Poe moved and Finn moved counter to him. "Poe, fuck," he moaned, maybe the first time he'd used /that/ sort of language in this situation, "You're going to have to—to have to slow down," he paused, gasping a little as multiple shivers ran down his spine and straight to his cock. "'M really close," he whined, panting with the effort of restraining himself. They hadn't even mentioned what happened now—if Poe was going to stop so Finn wouldn't be inside him when he came, or—or what was supposed to happen.  "Poe," he said, practically begging him to give him some direction.

"That's good, that's so good, Finn,  darling, baby, love," Poe gasped, increasing his thrusts. "Want you to come in me, Finn, want you to make me yours, forever and ever and—oh stars and skies and suns and fuuuuck—" Poe let Finn go enough to grasp himself, working towards his own completion. "Want us to come together, same time, that sound good? It's gonna feel so good, Finn, I love you." The rest was a blur of movement and mounting pleasure lost in _Yes yes faster I've got you Finn please yes stars oh skies!_ And Poe was over the edge, the power of his orgasm squeezing his insides around Finn, drawing him into bliss with him, their cries of the other's name shouted to the night.

Finn panted, riding out both of their orgasms, pretty sure time had momentarily paused.  When it started up again, he reached for Poe so he could wrap him in a hug and pepper his face with kisses. He wanted to melt in his arms for awhile, to tell him how amazing he was, but he couldn't find the right words. He settled for nuzzling at his neck instead, clinging to him like an Ewok, as he often did.

Poe pushed them back so he lay on top of Finn, laughing and kissing him. Where Finn was silent Poe was babbling: "Oh, Finn, Finn, I love you, you're so good, don't ever, ever leave me, Finn, I need you, gods, you're the wind beneath my kriffing wings I need your smile and your eyes and your stupid kriffing eight-pack, I love your O-face and the way you laugh at me when you're teasing me and I love how strong you are and how you take care of me and let me take care of you and you have the prettiest cock and your asshole is gorgeous I want to lick it and I love how you are so good to my little droid and how happy you make them and me and oh Finn I want to write your name in the sky—" all between gasps for his breath he couldn't quite find and kisses he couldn't stop showering Finn with.

"Hey, hey, breathe, flyboy," Finn said softly, wrapping his arms around Poe's shaking shoulders, laughing as he tried to get a word in around the kisses being showered on his face.  "We have time enough, you don't have to say everything at once," he said soothingly, rubbing up and down Poe's arms and down his back. "I love you too—I love how sweet and patient you are, and how much you love your droid and how much you care about your pilots," he said, just to make Poe be quiet and breathe before he hyperventilated.

Poe found tears in his eyes, even though he was impossibly happy. "Finn," he said, refusing to stop talking, though he managed a few breaths among the kisses. "Finn, I love you. I love you so much." A tear slid off his nose onto Finn's cheek, and Poe kissed it. He didn't deserve those sweet things Finn said, but "Thank you. I love you." He wound his arms around Finn, holding him, scratching his arms gently as they kissed. "Love you."

Finn reached up to brush another tear off Poe's nose, smiling softly. "I love you too, Poe.  Always, I'll always love you."  He hummed happily, wrapping Poe in a tight hug, tangling their legs together and burying his face against Poe's collarbone.

Poe rested his face against Finn's chest, kissing his neck, his mind and heart finally stilling. "So that was an okay first time?" He finally asked. "Your turn next, once I have a minute," he said, grinning brightly.

"More than okay," Finn said (for at least the second time that night—what was with Poe and describing great things as merely ‘okay’?). "Take as long as you need. I'll cuddle you for as long as you want," he said, pressing a hand to Poe's chest, where he could feel his heartbeat. "Thank you. For—you know, just—just being you. For loving me, for letting me love you  For everything," he said, sighing happily.

Poe laughed, wiping his eyes and kissing Finn's cheeks. "Darling, you shouldn't thank me for that. I'm acting perfectly selfishly by loving you. But you're welcome." He rolled over, grabbing the wet wipes to clean their hands and the space between them. "So, is there anything I can do to make this night perfect for you?"

" _You_ make it perfect," Finn responded, cuddling closer to Poe. "Can we snuggle for awhile? Before we switch, I mean. I still want to. And after?"

"Yeah, yeah," Poe said, curling around Finn and kissing him. Poe felt light and happy, not a care in the world, pleasure thrumming through his whole body. "My beautiful warrior," he purred, rubbing his back and the back of his neck. "We've got all night. We've got our whole lives, Finn, because I'm not letting you go."

Finn smiled, his heart beating a little faster at the thrill of knowing he'd always have at least one person who was home, the whole rest of his life. "Not letting you go, either," he said, and rolled so he could press his back against Poe's chest. This was the safest place in the world, and he loved it.  "The Force…it must like us. We found each other, out of every other person in the whole galaxy!" he said, laughing at the sheer wonderful absurdity of it.

Poe huffed, at first in awe of Finn's childlike innocence, and then again, because maybe he had a point. For the first time Poe considered he ought to be _grateful_ to Skywalker for disappearing, instead of resentful, because Poe might never have met Finn otherwise—and that thought was worse than the thought of facing Kylo Ren again. Anyway, even if he _did_ , Poe realized with a dark satisfaction that the sith bastard would have to sift through lots of gay porn with his former star stormtrooper to get any information out of Poe a second time! So Poe laughed against Finn's neck, wrapping arms and legs around him and sliding his arm under Finn's head as a pillow. The tent flap was still open, and they could look out and see the stars like this.

"I think the Force is—yeah. It's all about balance—" but he couldn't really think or see how their coming together would bring balance to the Force. Maybe there was just one too many stormtroopers and not quite enough pilots, so Finn had to escape and Poe had to live. He shrugged. "You know, maybe you're right. I had—we still have—a Force-sensitive tree by my house on Yavin. And I used to play in it, climb it, go to the topmost branches and look up at the stars. And it was, like, a wedding present from Luke to my mom, and she and my dad were just—no one ever loved each other like they did. I think that tree absorbed that, or was a part of that, because I'm telling you, Finn, they were _soulmates_. And—maybe you know, when I was little and looking up at the stars I was looking for whoever I would spend the rest of my life with. And maybe the Force guided you to me or me to you. Because that tree pointed you out to me the second you were born and said: _Follow the stars, and you'll find him_." There was a silence, and Poe sniffed, laughing at himself, and wiped his eyes. "Or maybe it's just a tree, I don't know."

"That's like saying _Black One_ is _just_ an X-Wing," Finn said, his voice a little scratchy with emotion. "We should tell the tree thank you," he added softly, taking one of Poe's hands and kissing and nuzzling his palm.

 _We could get married under it, too,_ Poe almost blurted out, but that was definitely probably moving too fast, and anyway he didn't have a ring and Finn deserved a grand proposal, so he lifted his head to give Finn a proper kiss, cupping his chin to turn him. "We should. We will. When I take you home to meet my dad." He laughed. "Is that awkward? You'd love him, I promise. He'll like you. I mean, I should warn you, I'm pretty sure he wants me to end up with a girl—something stupid about carrying on the family line—but you'll win him over, I promise. He fought alongside Han Solo, and was in the commando units, the elite infantry which I'm sure you'll end up in—you can swap stories and be the son he always wanted." He smirked tightly. "He was always a little mad I followed mom into starfighters." Then Poe shook his head and squeezed Finn close. "Oh my gods, here we're having romantic pillow-talk and I'm bringing up my _father_. Wow. I'm so sorry. Let me tell you about how gorgeous you are instead." He scooted closer behind Finn so that every possible inch of their skin was touching, and he let his hand wander down until he was touching Finn lazily, rubbing just one fingertip over the head of his cock while he pressed hot kisses to his neck and hair. "You smell so good," he hummed. "And you're so warm. So soft and hard at the same time. Want to kiss every muscle on your gorgeous body."

"You could do that. I wouldn't object," Finn said, laughing softly, snuggling back against Poe's chest, humming softly when he touched him and almost-but-not-quite shivering a little. "You could tell me about your dad and your mom and all your tens of cousins later?  I like hearing about your family," he said.

Poe beamed, made happier than he thought possible by knowing Finn wanted to hear about his family. "Sure," he said, rolling Finn towards him in his arms so he could kiss him. "But later. Now I want to kiss you, and I want us to make love to each other, and fall asleep in each other's arms and dream of flying." His touches became more insistent, and Finn rose to the attention. "Mm, so gorgeous," he purred, letting go long enough to coat his fingers in lube and reach between Finn's legs to massage his entrance. "Feel so good. Want to be inside you," he said, his voice thick with lust. "Want to make you mine, like I'm yours."

"Poe, I've _been_ yours," Finn said, and then smiled crookedly, reminding himself to stay relaxed, to not get all wound up and worried and anxious.  "But I understand what you're saying," he added, huffing a short breath when Poe pressed a little harder than he had been. "I love you like this— this close, looking at me like you’re going to bite, but being so gentle. Kiss me?" he asked, heart fluttering a little as he held Poe's gaze and grinned at him.

Poe huffed. "You mean looking at you like I want to eat you alive and touching you like you're made of glass?" Poe kissed Finn deep enough that their noses squished against each other's cheeks. "Not that you are. You're made of flesh and blood and I know exactly how unbreakable you are. I wish I were half as strong as you, and half as gentle," he murmured, beginning to press his fingers into Finn while he kissed his face and neck, still cradling him in his other arm. "Love you," he whispered. "Thank you for letting me take care of you." With practiced precision Poe found that bundle of nerves inside Finn and pressed against it, grinning at Finn's reaction, kissing him with his teeth.

Finn squirmed a little, his breath catching in his throat as Poe touched the bundle of nerves that made a spark of pleasure run up his whole spine and to the tip of his cock. He moaned softly, trying his hardest to keep still, to follow Poe's lead, even if he knew he wasn't quite as relaxed as Poe had been earlier.

"It's okay, it's okay," Poe encouraged, holding Finn closer and running the fingertips of his free hand over his shoulder and collarbone gently. "Won't do anything til you're ready. Just want you to feel good. We can talk about position, if you want: we can stay like this, so we can kiss and look at each other, or you can turn around and I'll be behind you. It's a bit less intimate, but I sometimes think it feels better." When Finn didn't immediately respond, Poe massaged his prostate with two fingers, increasing the stimulation. "How you doing?" he asked with a grin, kissing his chin and teething at his lower lip.

"I'm f-fine," Finn said, eyes closing briefly as Poe massaged his prostate again, "Good. I'm good," he gasped, pressing his forehead against Poe's collarbone for a moment and tensing his fingers against his back. "Do—do that again," he demanded, panting softly.

Poe's smile was warm this time. Warm, gentle, loving, nurturing, adoring. "Yeah," he said, feeling Finn's heart rate increase through where their skin touched. "Promise you'll keep talking to me?" he whispered. "Tell me what feels good and what you want more of and if you need me to stop or slow down." He tensed suddenly as Finn's fingers dug into his ribs. "Haha! And no tickling," he laughed, rubbing their noses together as he searched out a kiss. "Relax for me, darling, sweetheart, love. Let me take care of you."

"I'm not _trying_ to tickle you, but I can't—can’t be responsible if you keep—doing _that_ ," Finn said around the occasional hitch of breath when Poe would move his fingers. He squeezed his eyes shut and moaned into another kiss. "Feels good— _so_ good, you're amazing, want—want more of you, please. _Please_ , Poe," he said, recognizing that he was babbling, and not really caring. Once he'd relaxed enough to enjoy this, it was...well, Poe was right, it was the same heady, half-exhilaration-half-fear-of-falling feeling that he associated with flying.

Poe laughed as he gentled his sweet ex-stormtrooper with kisses and soft touches, and he laughed as Finn got more and more excited. "Easy, easy, Finn," he said, his grin broadening until it was impossible to kiss Finn properly, and he was just teething across his neck and shoulders. "I'm gonna give you more, I've got you. Haha, stop _wiggling_!" he cried, and had to shift their positions, sliding on top of Finn, planting his knees between his legs. "You want me to have to pin you down?" he hissed playfully in Finn's ear, taking one of Finn's wrists and pinning it over his head. "Make sure you don't float away?" He chuckled, getting a rush from how completely he was taking Finn apart.

" _Yes_ ," Finn answered, grinning up at Poe as he held a wrist above his head. "Like it when you pin me," he added, forgetting himself momentarily and shifting his hips. _That_ didn't feel great, and he froze with a wince. "Ow," he gasped, still holding very still. "No more doing that. I'll be still," he said.

"Oh, oh, easy. Sorry," Poe said, kissing it better. "That'll feel good, too, once you're stretched enough. Give me your other hand," he instructed, pinning both wrists with one hand while he eased his knees up under Finn''s hips, so he couldn’t move as easily. "There we are: got you right where I want you, all mine." He smiled, his own heart pounding, desperate with desire. He had three fingers inside Finn, and was scissoring them to open him up. "That's it, you're so good, so beautiful. Not hurting?" he checked, searching Finn's face but finding only a gentle, dazed smile, flushed cheeks, and dilated pupils. "Feeling all right?"

"Yeah," Finn answered, "Yeah, better." He was more relaxed now, more used to the feeling of Poe's fingers inside him and not as wound up or anxious now that Poe obviously had things completely under control. "Thank you, for—" he paused, shifting slightly as he felt Poe stretch him just a little further, "for not making me sort this out, you know...on my own," he whispered, arching a little against Poe's hands and panting a few more fast breaths. "I don't understand how it hurts one second and feels so good the next," he said.

"Oh Force, Finn, no. No, thank _you_ ," Poe growled. "I'm the lucky one, get that out of your head that I'm sorting this out for you—I’m just—I’m just _basking_ in your—in you." He blushed, and kissed Finn soundly. "Now, it shouldn't _hurt_ , let me know if it hurts. A slight burn, maybe, or an ache like stretching—" Poe pulled back to glance between them just in case, and took it slower, taking time to massage Finn's prostate again, until he was leaking precome and whining and slick and open and _ready_. "Okay, okay, hold still, hold still," he said, withdrawing his fingers all the way before pressing into him again, making sure he was loose and relaxed. "Beautiful," he moaned, suddenly overcome, desire burning hot in his ears as he slicked himself.

Finn whined when Poe withdrew his fingers and didn't press them back inside him. "Why'd you stop?" he asked plaintively, although the answer probably should have been clear to him. He couldn't think around the buzz of pleasure and desire and excitement and everything else that was going on in his head, and he pressed his head back against the ground. "Poe, I need you," he gasped, "Need you inside me, _please_ ," he asked, a little frustrated that they weren't moving faster, even though earlier he'd been anxious because they hadn't been moving slowly enough. "You're really, really good at mixed signals," he told Poe gratefully.

Poe huffed. "It's 'cause you're helping me. You're doing so good, you're talking to me and being honest and you're being beautiful and giving and taking just right." He bent down to kiss Finn once more before straightening up, releasing his wrists. "Okay, I'm gonna put your legs up here, okay? Over my shoulders. Promise it's gonna feel good," he gasped, as he lined himself up, beginning to pant with the effort it took to hold back. "I love you, Finn," he whispered, and when Finn gave him a little nod he began to push inside him.

" _Poe_ ," Finn moaned as he pressed against him and then inside him. He gripped a little desperately at the floor of the tent, panting as he forced himself to relax. "'S okay," he told Poe before he could even ask. "Just wasn't quite," he took a deep breath and let it out, laughing softly at himself, "expecting that," he finished. He expected it to hurt more, in spite of what Poe had said.

Poe held still, seated about halfway inside him, sweating with the effort to hold still. "It's okay, we're okay. Gonna let you get used to me. Won't move until you say." Poe was running his hands over Finn's legs and along his sides to calm him, and he turned to kiss each of his knees. "You feel _so_ good," he said. "And I love you. When it feels all right, you can use your legs to move against me, however feels good. And once we're nice and loose I'm gonna bend you in half so I can kiss you. I know you stretched the backs of your legs this morning, I was watching you." He grinned wickedly, finally taking Finn's hands in his and squeezing them. "You want to touch yourself, or you want to let me do it, huh, beautiful?"

"You're better," Finn said quickly, and blushed furiously. "If—uh—if you want," he added. When he felt a little less flighty, and wasn't twitching every time Poe touched his legs or his sides or moved, he tried very gently moving against Poe and startled a moan out of himself. He did it again, more intentionally this time, and scraped at the ground with his fingertips. " _Holy_ _shit_ ," he gasped.

A relieved—more than relieved, grateful, awestruck, overwhelmed—smile spread across Poe's face at seeing and hearing and _feeling_ Finn in pleasure, and he might have burst into tears or fallen against him to rut into him like an animal, but he held on through sheer force of will, and he kissed Finn's knee again, biting the inside of his leg softly. "Gods, you're beautiful. I want _nothing_ more than to touch you everywhere. I want a hundred hands just to pleasure you with," he declared, and then laughed. "As weird as that would be. Never mind." He took Finn in hand, not that he needed any encouragement. "So hot, stars, Finn. You want me to move yet?" As in control as he was trying to be, it came out a pleading whimper, and he dug the fingernails of his other hand into the meat of Finn's thigh briefly.

"Yeah, yeah, you can move," Finn said, smiling at the edge of desperation that was beginning to become fairly apparent in both of their voices. "Poe, _please_ move," he begged, arching against the ground just a little as Poe touched him, but didn't immediately _do_ anything.

"Oh stars, yes," he said, rolling his hips back and forth once, to gauge Finn's reaction, and finding it favorable as Finn threw his head back and _keened_ , he did it again, taking him a bit deeper this time. He was worried about taking him all the way, knowing it would feel better for himself than for Finn, and this was feeling good enough that Poe had no idea how long he would last as it was. "Force, fuck," he gasped, finding a rhythm and an angle that Finn seemed to like. "So good. So good. You close for me, handsome, hm?" he asked, pumping him hard with his fist until Finn was moaning and obviously very close. "What if I make you wait?" he teased, suddenly stilling his hand and gripping the base of Finn's cock hard, holding him at the edge. "Leave you on the edge like this while I fuck you as long as I want to?" he purred, holding him until the window had passed, and only then bending down, bending Finn at the waist, to kiss him. "Keep you on the edge like that all night, desperate and needy. Like to see you like that."

Finn _whimpered_ , fingers scrabbling helplessly at the bottom of the tent and his breath coming in hitched gasps as Poe held him right at the edge.  "Not—not—fair," he growled, and then changed tactics, opening his eyes when Poe kissed him. " _Please_ , Poe. _Please_.  Need you—need to—with you inside me." He made a high keening noise in the back of his throat and leaned up enough to kiss Poe again, nipping at his lower lip. " _Pleeease_ ," he begged again, on a moan this time, and brought a hand up to tangle in—and pull on—Poe’s hair.

"Oh _fuck me flyin’_ ," Poe swore, letting Finn drag his head where he would and with that, he couldn't help it, he slid fully inside him, pausing as they both gasped. "Stars, Maker, fuck, _Finn_ ," he moaned, frankly surprised at his own vocabulary when he was so assaulted by pleasure and love from all sides. "I'm not gonna—need to—won’t tease you anymore," he promised, slipping his hand between them again to bring Finn to the edge again. "Just kiss me," he begged, barely able to support himself with one hand, and his head at the mercy of wherever Finn pulled his hair ( _stars_ that felt good!). Finn's lips were more important than air, and Poe’s hips were doing something he wasn't in control of but which seemed to work for both of them and everything was too bright and he was _so close_.

Finn didn't have to be asked twice—he pulled Poe closer to him and kissed him, gently at first (just for, well, a little bit of retaliation) and then harder when he couldn't stand it anymore. He tugged on his hair some more, running it through his fingers and massaging Poe's scalp with his fingertips. "Fuck, Poe, I'm—" he gasped, not even finishing his sentence before he came, moaning helplessly as he shivered and felt himself clenching around Poe's cock, his fingers tensing in his hair of their own accord.

Poe screamed something like Finn's name as he tumbled over the edge just behind Finn. There was nothing, _nothing_ that felt like that in the whole world, not chocolate, not flying, nothing that felt like simultaneous orgasm with someone you loved, not knowing whether you made them happier than they made you, and yet—and with Finn it was somehow impossibly (this was Finn's first time _how_ was he this _good_?!) indescribably _better_ than it had ever been before.

Poe was pretty sure he had gone blind for several moments. Their bodies, rigid, now went weak and shaky, and Poe could no more hold himself up than he could fly by flapping his arms, and he collapsed on top of Finn, having mostly pulled out, he wasn't sure, he couldn't feel anything (unless it was that he could feel everything, and it was confusing), crushing Finn into the blanket and hoping he never had to move again. "Love you, love you, thank you, love you, got you, love you," he realized he was murmuring into Finn's neck, when Poe discovered he could see and hear all of a sudden.

"Love you too, so much, to suns and moons and stars and back, for— for the rest of forever, after all the stars are gone.  Always," Finn murmured in return, turning his head against Poe's neck in much the same way Poe had his face buried in his.  He could feel— he could feel a few tears wetting his cheeks, and then wetting Poe's neck where his cheek rested. "Force, Poe, I love you _so much_ ," he whispered, his heart unable to hold all of it, it felt like. He continued gently stroking the back of Poe's hair, and brought his other arm around his ribs, holding him close.  "I didn't— didn’t know it was even _possible_ to love someone so much," he said dreamily. Hearing about Poe's family might have to wait— after that, Finn's energy was completely spent, and he was so relaxed and happy that he just wanted to sleep, right here, with Poe stretched out on top of him.

Poe didn't very often feel _old_ , but right now he was _tired_ , and it was much the same thing, he suspected. Dizzy with sudden overwhelming exhaustion and drenched in euphoric bliss, he forced himself up on his elbows to kiss Finn properly, to kiss his eyes, wet with tears, and to notice that _those_ drops had run off his own face and fallen onto Finn's cheeks. "I love you, too, Finn. I love you." He shifted, slightly. He didn't want to move, but he had to be sure, he was responsible for Finn: "Are you okay?" he asked. "I have a—an ointment, if you hurt at all?" He couldn't stop kissing Finn, wherever his mouth could reach. It was addicting, even though his lips were already chapped.

"I'm okay. Don't hurt," Finn said, although he wasn't so sure this wasn't just euphoria and adrenaline and happiness speaking. Whatever, he didn't want to move, and he didn't want Poe to move either. "Stay? Gonna fall asleep. Don't want you to go'way," he mumbled.

"Okay, okay, good," Poe said, kissing him more softly now. "Not going anywhere." They were kind of on the bed, if sideways, but he managed to grab a pillow to stuff under both their heads, and he slid their feet under a blanket and luckily they were still lying mostly on the heated blanket and it was a warm night. They had water they should be drinking, and they should probably get cleaned up, but Poe couldn't think beyond basic survival now, and since they weren't going to freeze and Finn wasn't in any pain, his brain and body had basically ground to a halt. "Love you." A few jerky attempts to settle to one side so he wasn't crushing Finn failed spectacularly, and Poe pressed his face to the pillow by Finn's shoulder and knew no more.

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to all those who leave/have left lovely comments on this and previous stories! ASingerofSongs wants you to know she reads every one and is so grateful, but is in the middle of finishing her dissertation so she hasn't had a chance to reply to all of them. Thanks for your support!


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